On the night before Christmas got here,
Santa relapsed, got into the beer.
You might think he’s a saint;
after twelve, though, he ain’t.
On a rampage, he shot up the deer.
Only Rudolph did make an escape;
the elves bandaged him up with some tape.
To get out of the mess,
they called up UPS,
“Can Brown please get us out of this scrape?”
Now the judge found him guilty for cause;
gave him jail time, not one of those spas.
Locked him up till October
or until he got sober.
Because he was a dependent Claus…
We kids sled
past the home of so-long-ago.
We kids wear
snow-black boots and warm
mittens. We kids sled,
on a cold sunny day,
across the Vale’s backyard;
Old-timers let
us kids sled
through flurried laughter,
cheeks frozen-red,
and out all day,
it seemed.
What was Mom doing,
I wonder? I wish I could
dust off the window
and see her
and get a tear in my eye.
The teardrop shape is frozen
in time. We kids sled
without a care in the world.
So its sled dead..Ahead!
E V's get ice'd with outage
The tortoise smiles long.'
She discovered sledding when she was three or four
We used to put her on with us, but then she got independent
I think she was five and a half when she wanted to “go alone”.
I am big, she told us. Not to us, but we allowed it.
She did not want to come in for hot chocolate or warmth.
We finally had to drag her kicking and screaming, into the house.
Her cheeks were blood red, assuring us she had a great time!
A sleepy little girl once said
she’d like to stay at home in bed
they said she’d miss the fun
with sledding just begun
so she jumped up quickly instead
once an aged cab driver named fred
whose snout shined very dainty red
got a call from a bar
placing an elf in car
making him escort santa's sled
Used HMS.COM / 8-8-6-6-8
and RZ.COM
Written: November 27, 2022
A Funny Christmas or December
Holiday Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
One Winter
David J Walker
It is a drifter
Named winter
Who never
Keeps promises
One winter
I moved into an igloo
In the front yard
But only for an afternoon until
Mother called us in for hot cocoa
I loved to sled
I loved to stand at the window pain
And watch freezing rain turn to snow
Making me think of sledding
And when I might go
One winter
There was no winter
Only gray days that made you feel cold hateful
There was no snow there was no winter
We used to walk through the winter snow,
Our feet treading high, we are stomping our way.
My sister was by my side. We were ready to have the fun we know,
She holds my hand as we cross the bridge.
We walked up the hills to the top of its peak.
Our sleds were set and ready to go!
Down the hill we slid, and we were ready to bail before the pond lies below,
Laughing each time knowing the snow will soon be gone.
Like my youth, most memories melt away,
But this one, this one I beg to stay.
I remember how it felt to be
Roused from my cozy bed,
To be driven to our country school
In that big covered sled.
Daddy hitched it to his favorite team,
His powerful Prince and Teddy,
With drifts of snow where cars can't go,
That valiant pair was ready.
We had a little kerosene stove
And robes so thick and warm,
To keep us from our death of cold,
In those few miles from the farm.
There was no need to be worried,
Our dad could get us there,
Snug and safe in our big rig,
Pulled by that faithful pair.
It sits in a museum now,
That covered, winter sled,
Daddy and his team are gone
And most of its riders are dead.
Daddy is in Heaven where,
He battles snow no more.
Only a few remember now,
How it was in days of yore.
This one has not been posted here, before. It is snowing today and that brought back memories.
Winters in Kansas have deep snow
One Christmas my "Bro" and I got
A present given to us both
Which then it seemed happened a lot!
It was an orange plastic sled
But we thought about a cool stunt
Using cardboard and some stiff wire
We made a cover for the front
It looked like an orange slipper
But for action we had a thirst
With a coin toss my "Bro" took off
We thought why not go down head first!
Half way down he lost his control
It flipped, rolled and gave us a scare
Then finally spun to a stop
With snow sticking out everywhere!
Standing up he shook off the snow
He said struggling not to cry,
"It was like being in a car wreck!"
I said, "Cool, now I'm going to try!"
Santa’s Silent Sled
Santa's silent sled slid slowly over the soft snow
Over the soft snow Santa's silent sled slowly slid.
If the soft snow on which Santa slid his slow sled
Melted, how would Santa slowly slide his silent sled?
11/19/2007
For Alliteration Poetry Contest
by Joseph May
I was looking at the starry sky
When past a comet sped.
Oh, how I wished I could
Attach to it a sled.
I'd hurtle through the universe
Such things would I see,
Planets never seen before
And distant galaxies.
I could watch a super nova
Dodge pulsars cosmic rays,
And marvel at planetary rings
As I toured the milky way.
I could fly through a nebula
As on and on I sped,
Then shoot off to infinity,
Aboard my celestial sled.
Winter knocking at my door bringing its presence
Trees boughs drooping with weight of its omnipresent
Crystal flakes glide down from heaven unspoiled and white
Very quietly alight in the silent night
Noses and cheeks left frozen with its crimson touch
Our knees knocking and teeth chattering they won’t hush
With its ambiance brought considerable fun
Sleds are out for a straight downhill slide to outrun
Sparky our dog chases behind, then steals the sled
He said, “It is my turn now!” Speeds and leads instead
We all took chase with bouts of giggling and loud shouts
“Come back, Sparky, with our sled or no more handouts!”
Ragamuffins sweet whispers, kisses, and good-nights
Warm and cozy for the night, dreams of snowball fights
12/29/2016
Sponsored By: Broken Wings
Contest Name: Form C
I was looking at the starry night
When past a comet sped.
Oh, how I wished I could
Attach to it a sled.
I'd hurtle through the universe
Such things would I see,
Planets never seen before
And distant galaxies.
I could watch a super nova,
Dodge pulsars cosmic rays
And marvel at planetary rings,
As I toured the milky way.
I could fly through a nebula
As on and on I sped,
Then shoot off to infinity,
Aboard my celestial sled.
hillside
cold, white
snowing, running, sledding
ice, plastic, bone, blood,
thawing, melting, flowing
warm, red,
hospital
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