Short Whoopee Poems

Two nice bogies jumped the rails
made a whoopee yoke duckie
crazy Jana and Anna 
the dodo dudu...

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An horseshoe should bring you good luck
Although it is covered in muck
The horse may go lame
But you're not to blame
Your mother-in-law-needs a buck...

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A young cowgirl will sing by and by
"Whoopee tie your yipee whoopee tie!"
For she knows how to cling
To a bull's ding-a-ling
But has nary a clue with small fry...

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Cupid cast a spell on two
lovebirds in a gilded cage
They wish to make whoopee, .....but
plead for privacy!!





For the "Winged Cupid" contest
Sponsored by Dr. Ram Mehta...

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150 years... but we're still in our prime
Young at heart, it's our special time
Proud as can be
Hallelujah WHOOPEE!
A fantastic country, to the top we have climbed...

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I placed an old photo of me
right under  my pillow, you see,
and whoah, this is scary
for the ugly fairy
has left me some money- whoopee!

For contest' Limerick', sponsor Jan Allison...

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Antics aplenty
Plastic dog poop everywhere
Rude whoopee cushions
Is your fridge running? Catch it!
Loony pranks for April Fools'

4/01/23

March Into April contest
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich...

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If you had one wish, what would it be
Mine would be with Jennifer Aniston making whoopee
We'd pause for oxygen
Then be at it again
She'd cry bloody murder as I nibbled her tootsies...

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I met an old prostitute Mary,
Resembling a cow in a dairy:
She lived to make whoopee,
Her udders were droopy,
With private parts smelly and hairy.

14th June for Roy’s Bawdy limericks II contest...

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Okay you nice people, now listen to me
Been around quite a while, I'm a smart retiree
This guy should know
To small stuff say tallyho
It sure doesn't matter a sweet whoopee


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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There was a man who needed surgery
Down where you know well let's say the Dead Sea
              They gave him a gown too short
               Then pills same as a quick snort
He danced an Irish Jig and sang whoopee   ...

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What does it mean “making whoopee” my sweet
Is it some kind of fancy new dessert, a new treat
Really like to try some
Sounds like fun
Can we give it a shot, if I promise to be discreet

© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Surreal soldiers had a candy pinata that was pretty sweet
They added to it a few veggies, in particular one big red beet.
The ones who got the candy bars, were happy as could be.
The one who got stuck with the beet did not give one whoopee....

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Wind of A Painful Reminder


Painful reminder
Last night making whoopee out
Came out a butt-sneeze


Written: Aug. 29, 2015


Note: A butt-sneeze is a slang used to instead of the word fart.
Us Canadians use way too many slang words....

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A jury duty summons
Yay! Whoopee!
Said no person every

I have received five in the last thirteen years.
Got my latest one yesterday.
Why me?

Why not? The jury duty goddess replies.
Timing is great.
First day I go back to work. Whoopee!...

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The Millipede Parade

Left home pet sitting, I felt unlucky.
One dog got sick and days became yucky.
Vacation in Portugal
Fun loving dreamy dazzle –
Then came the millipede parade…Whoopee!

NOTE: MILLIPEDES CAN BE A PROBLEM IN PORTUGAL...A BIG PEST!...

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Red hood
Girl good
 
Nan ill
No pill
 
Mum dumb
No chum
 
Wolf bad
Bit mad
…………………………………………………………………..
Wolf munch
Nan lunch
 
Wolf chew
Red too

Huntsman
Has plan
 
Wolf snip
Unzip
 
Red free
Whoopee 
 
Nan out
Big shout
 
Wolf dead
Behead
...

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Run, go, be free
Little Bea
You are carefree
Don't worry about me
Travel through the universe, go sight see
Scream, shout and say whoopee
I watch a bumblebee
An escapee 
Like yourself, you see
Bit do not forget your return key
And explore the world safely
But do not forget about me....

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Its done,
its done!
Its really, really finally done!!
That mountain piled so high
that stretched beyond my eye
well its no lie ...
its really, really done!
See how I smile in smug success
because, its done!
I did it!!
I did it!!
I did it!!
Hooray for me,
whoop whoopee!!
All that laundry ...
is done!!...

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Pumpkin Pie at our table
Tasty treat divine
Stir sugar, eggs, cinnamon, 
 Cardamom, lemon
Yummy crust whoopee
Gobbled with 
Glee! 


For this Thankgiving, I give such thanks to Poetry Soup and all the talented feeling poets and all the warm generous wonderful new friends that have suddenly entered my life!...

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They could not wait to see what grandma’s newest wig would be.
Prepared for almost anything, she was whimsical and full of glee.
They began to laugh and point. The youngest one said “whoopee!”
She created a sassy and hippy-like wig that was totally punky.
My whimsical grandma for sure suits me, said Sammy, only age three....

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Swirling
Twirling

Soft snow
White glow

Christ's birth
Spreads mirth

Peace graced
Crib placed

Joy shared
Love flared

Lights on
Till dawn

We bake
Plum cake

Cookies
Goodies

Whoopee! 
Tall tree

Cute gifts
Heart lifts

Songs clear
Bring cheer

Very
Merry

Yuletide
Worldwide




30th November 2022...

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Ms. Pete had the most interesting chair
It had pizzazz, color, shape, and ready flair
Eclectic like it, she knew what to wear
We did not see the back until she climbed heaven’s stair

The back was almost prettier than the front if you ask me
Ms. Pete had an eye for fashion that went past whoopee
We will miss her much, her things went for a good fee
The only recipient was the Haven for Cat and Puppy...

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Stich could not believe his sister gave him a tree!
It was the best thing ever! Whoopee! Whoopee!
I love this so much he said, Yippee Dee! Dee!
Settle down, his sister said. The tree is not free.

You have to do the laundry and make your bed. 
You have to scrub your cheeks until they come out red.
You have to clean the kitchen before we can decorate.
Okay said Stitch! He ran off to do it and celebrate....

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You might say that Uncle Sam is equally greedy
High taxes for middle class,the rich,the needy
Doesn't matter partisan lines,there's no reprieve
Situation will get worse,I do believe
Taxes on our basic needs,forget the fluff!
As a U.S. citizen I've had enough
Still,it seems complaining doesn't do much good
He would tax us making whoopee if he could!




* for "Taxing Times" contest
sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire...

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