Short Funny Valentine Poems
Short Funny Valentine Poems. Below are examples of the most popular short poems about Funny Valentine by PoetrySoup poets. Search short poems about Funny Valentine by length and keyword.
Portia, My Funny Valentine sighs Kind of Blue in Green 'Round Midnight.
(A little tribute to Miles D)
I have had a lover or two,
that is before, not after you.
I brag otherwise
to fellows and guys;
which has got me into this stew!
Lady out of roses of red,
this news hit him hard in the head.
Lilies of blue,
expensive hue,
more than expensive loaf of bread.
My Valentine a giant with huge feet
He loves to cuddle up close to me
Yet I don’t adore
Sound of his snore
Like a motorcycle slowly dying
Rob, my hubby's love is the best
He's a good man, I can attest
Supportive and fun,
and can't be undone
And in bed, well, you know the rest!
He wanted to wear socks to bed
"That's never an option," I said
Not appealing for sex
Nearly became my ex
Chance for romance would've been dead
My Valentines Day wasn't great -
she turned up at least but too late,
confessing, 'I'm Luke,'
she started to puke,
and stood up to pee. What a date!
I strive for a nightly embrace
that snuggles us closely in place
but restless legs harm
my want and my arms
when jerking spouse flies me thru space.
My girlfriend - can you believe her?
She loved dogs. How could I leave her?
I always had to grin
when she rested her chin
just like a golden retriever.
There once was a man from Macon
On Valentine's he gave bacon
Wanted it fried
That's when I cried
I knew this marriage mistaken
An alpha guy, the real McCoy -
my online date gave me such joy
But when his cellphone rang,
he froze from a loud BANG,
Turned out he was some Mama's boy!
I tell my wife’s choice of spouse is fine,
She feels as if she is on cloud nine.
I tell I’m a zero in this art,
She thinks she’s so smart ~
A wife so benign!
I look forward to each Valentine's Day
This is all that I have briefly to say
My guy being a miser
And not an enterpriser
It is the time I get some gifts that stay.
My hubby dear does make me smile;
spends lots of time in that one aisle.
For his poet wife
makes love come to life
to find cards in rhythm-rhyme style!
My husband, Bill, snores with great might,
Like a jackhammer drilling all night.
Windows tremble and shake,
No sleep can I take.
Sleep in shed instead with my nightlight.
She closes the curtains and smiles at me,
enchanting, bewitching and full of glee,
just once a year this time
cuddles me warm sublime
and agrees to watch same movie as me.
My sweet love, this Valentine's Day,
as under the cold snow you lay,
while this snow is so deep,
with high roses I creep.
Next year I'll shovel a pathway !
I once loved a strong man who was older
he would carry me over his shoulder
his moustache was so fine
I was proud he was mine
but as interesting as a boulder
#1 placement
be my valentine
my purple heart pants for you
karate belt too
Written February 4, 2019 Contest: Valentine Senryu
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
There once was a woman divine,
Who parked every car but in line.
She said, “Straight is a myth,”
With a confident sniff—
Yet somehow she still parked her heart next to mine.
Mike proposed on his bended knee,
To marry him I can’t agree.
NO! My arm won’t be twisted,
As his ma had insisted,
Our honeymoon’s her him and me!
its no wonder many say he's strong
relaxing with his love didn’t feel wrong
but there was once a time
when Moose was in his prime
Working Man felt just like his theme song
My Funny Valentine
There once was a lover so fine,
Whose snores sounded like a bad vine,
She'd sleep with a grin,
And I'd laugh from within,
And our love would forever be mine.
You say all the right things
and strum all the right strings
but actions never follow suit.
If you insist on being cute
I’ll gladly help you spread your wings.
AP: 2nd place 2026
My husband, an outdoorsman, came to bed
with a coonskin cap on his massive head;
he said it helps him feel firm.
I try not to laugh and squirm.
I yield to his needs; I bought a pelt spread.