Short Fruitcake Poems

A Box
Of Sox

He'll sigh
A Tie

Don't bake 
Fruitcake

He Buys
Wrong Size

Not Fair
Can't Wear

Don't Know???
Please...dough!...

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Enclosed find a recipe for Fruitcake
It was a particular favorite around the holiday season.
We had a very "dry' sense of humor.


...

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It seems the ghost of Christmas Past
Leaves us feeling like we've been gassed
Perhaps that fruitcake
Was a coven-bake
And an age-old spell has been cast?...

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Gummy Santa’s adorning
My fruitcake and dates
Inside with candied cherries, 
raisins, walnuts and
Oranges, floating 
Fondant red,
Bliss!...

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Fruitcake

Familiar cake it be
For gift to bring to thee
Forlorn it sits at tea
For none will taste but me

Fear not my special treat
Forget what others eat
For me you’re noncompete!...

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famous holiday treat
flavorful, rich, nutty
festive, with candied fruit
fabulous with coffee
fresh-baked or "seasoned"~~Yum
filling~~save room for it
fattening~~eat small piece!			




...

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Trump Should Give Us A Break

Trump should try giving us a break;
Not have to do things for his sake;
On horizon a gift,
And him must RIF;
He definitely is nuttier than a fruitcake.

Jim Horn...

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MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR
IT AINT EVEN THANKSGIVING YET
AND EVERYONE'S FULL OF CHEER
BE WISE WHEN HAPPY
PEOPLE LIKE TO MAKE 
MESS OF YOUR MOOD
MERRY CHRISTMAS
SANTA CLAUS IS READYING UP
HE'LL BE HERE SOON...

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I must be nutty as a fruitcake
      for attending my sister's
         'pre-marital wake'

   Sis likened marriage to 'slow death'
   She didn't want to run out of breath

      So I served her Arsenic 'n Rum in her steak...

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Jack's Fruitcake

Jack slipped over a banana bread
His feet loafed of slices of lead
Poor sweet little gent
Upside down he went
For he ate the banana peel instead

connie pachecho
2/03/18...

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Funny the way it was then
Feisty teen who loved sweets
Fine icebox fruitcake served
Fruit quite different mixed
From citrus~lemons, limes
Flipped fruit flew from teen's lips
Fantasy taste was gone  ...

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Fruit laden circle cake
  filled with nuts and jellies
    full of flavor and spice
       fantastic with eggnog
    frequently requested
  for family and friends
fine finish by the fire.







Written on 12/13/2016
Pleiades...

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a waltz wave


gifts
profuse
tree
pre-lit
peachy-keen
glazed ham
cakes
cookies
casseroles
Christmasy cheer
no fruitcake
no coal
no
stockings
no fireplace
Santa
knows
our front
door



written December 15, 2015...

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pumpkin spice coffee
or mulled hot apple cider
october magic

pecan pie muffins
cinnamon hot chocolate
as the red leaves fall

white november days
eggnog in the afternoon 
sledding at twilight

december teatime
a fruitcake on the table
and cardinals sing...

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I am a psychopath
a derange
a fruitcake

she looked at me as if I am looney tunes, a
nutter, madwoman, maniac, nutcase, nut. 
I stuck out my tongue, causing her to flee

the man in the elevator asked me
where would she go? 
We three have been stuck in here for hours...

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Fruit in every bite.
From love to hate with this treat in sight.
Flavorful as you open it up each night.
Funky by some standards don't take flight.
Fall brings it in for Christmas with pretty lights.
Fancy nuts make it crunchy with delight.
Famous worldwide satisfying many an appetite....

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Nutty as a fruitcake

No one wants to be; Nuts

Normally bring to mind

Nature's hard-shelled tree fruits,

Nutritious and yummy.

Naughtily I will add

Nude men are showing two!


April 30, 2017 for Kim Merryman's  Pleiades N Contest...

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This year, everyone is taking turns in the loo
Since Aunt Judy used Ex-lax in the fruitcake
She didn't know she’d create so much poo
Nor cause us all to have an atrocious bellyache







Christmas Chastushka Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Andrea Dietrich
December 17, 2020

...

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First you take a little child the younger ones are best
Sit them in a dark cold house, remove all signs of zest
Pack them full of stories all about the world outside 
Add a little fear and then you take away their pride
With individuality well and truly crushed
A few more years of mixing and their brains are truly mushed...

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Holiday baking party;
Cookies of ginger,
Raisins in chocolate suite,
Colored crystals of
Sugar with a crunch;
Pumpkin bread
High!

Pies and sweet-spiced cakes galore,
Bourbon Bon-bon joy;
Popcorn balls, all colored bright,
Fruitcake to delight,
Spiced cider in mugs,
Jam cake too
Thrill!

...

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I think that someone should invent 
(And I would be quite glad)
A painless little questionnaire
To check that your not mad
.
A simple twenty questions
Is all that it would take
To say you’re fairly normal
Or a crazy old fruitcake
.
If all the people filled one in
The results could be collated
We could have a central register
And get certificated


© John W Fenn  15-02-2009...

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Life is 
By: Miracle Man
1/1/2022

The cake we bake,
is from choices we make,
and chances we take.

 Some days we shake,
life resembles fruitcake,
and path begins to snake.

Ushering each daybreak,
when scarcely awake,
 is a new heartache.

Ingredients were fake
we had no stake,
all was not Jake.

Not understanding why,
we grasp and sigh,
Cake’s Done, we die!
...

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Nobody Likes Fruitcake

By Elton Camp

Who would want a fruitcake as a gift
It would be far better to receive a fifth

Nobody is going to be at all thrilled
To get something with calories filled

Especially since it is hard and dry
To cut or bite it, you needn’t try 

As a doorstop, a fruitcake is okay
So don’t too quickly throw it away

Or you can hit an intruder in the head
So maybe keep it alongside your bed...

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J   just as cold a March and December
A  always is the month of the wolf
N  National spaghetti day on the forth of the month
U  usually on the 3rd day it’s Festival of Sleep and Fruitcake Toss day
A  and January named after the Roman God Janus
R   run up the Flagpole and see if anyone Salutes Day on the second day
Y  year is new so it’s a new year welcome to the quary it’s January

1/5/19
Written words by James Edward Lee 2019...

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(Rhyming Couplets) 


Fruitcake, oh no! I don't like. 
I'd rather give it to Mike. 

Fruitcake tastes to me more than bad. 
If you send me one I'd get very mad. 

Fruitcakes are not really fun you see. 
So please don't send one to me. 

Fruitcakes tastes like a nasty piece of rubber 
Just thinking of them makes me shout and shudder. 

  

Dorian Petersen Potter 
aka ladydp2000 
copyright@2012 


September,24,2014...

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