Through the years, I've heard some really funny jokes, quotes, one-liners, etc., about fruitcakes. THOUGH I LOVE FRUITCAKE, I join in the fun!          

                  
  USES FOR HOLIDAY FRUITCAKES

Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.

Use instead of sand bags during El Nino.

Use as railroad ties.

Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.

Collect ten and use them as bowling pins.

Save for next summer's garage sale.

Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition

“There’s only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.”

Johnny Carson

“Friends are the fruitcake of life—some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet.”

Jon Ronson, author (Wales)