Short Bladder Poems

I never have to pee,
as bad as when I'm asleep.
I hold it so long,
bladder so strong,
Thank goodness for yellow sheets....

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Even though I was a as buzzzy as a bee
Like a sheep I followed everyone to a baaar
My bladder became full and I was moooving like a cow...

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A man in agony waiting in line
to relieve his bladder opined:
“How I wish the line were shorter
and beer brewed other than with water!”...

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Virginity

loss for words

sanity

loss of bladder control (during pregnancy)

my mind


train of thought

money

and 

love...

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Tom had to empty his bladder 
The path was blocked by an adder
"Just Russians" it hissed
But Tom never missed
And now that adder is madder...

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I've got the bladder of a pregnant squirrel,
Yet I consume coffee until my toes curl,
Why?
Heck if I know,
How?
With lots of shaking to show....

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i have to go pee and i have  to go now,
don't wait to go or else ka-pow,
my bladder can't hold any more,
the toilet is over flowing pee galore....

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Through the teeth
and through the gums
look out belly 
here it comes
through the colon
or through the bladder
when I'm relieved
I feel much gladder!...

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She had quite a leaky old bladder,
and a rear end as flat as a platter,
she went to the store,
cant take it anymore,
Depends now makes her rear appear fatter....

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As I ponder my weak bladder, you see.
I travel around the corner from thee.
Be careful if around the corner you go.
Please for your sake, watch for yellow snow....

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Seated in the middle of a long row
theatre fan Joe urgently had to go.
But the play was running late
and his bladder couldn't wait.
So Joe went with the flow of the show....

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My friend Ms. Wickys bladder was weak,
every hour a restroom she had to seek,
she thought life wasn't fair,
always changing underwear,
her new nickname becoming now Ms. Wickyleaks....

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Rudolph’s bladder was bursting, he had nowhere to ‘go’
Please don’t throw any snowballs if you find ‘yellow snow’!

Cute Christmas Couplet
Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich

12/17/18...

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“Excitement” is Annie waking up with glee
Knocking over stuff to reach the door for a pee
Nothing else matters
No.1 is her bladder
Then coming in expecting food immediately...

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There may be a flood in the Isle of Man
From the bladder of poetry Jan
There is no denying
Inco pads I’ll be buying
I’ll judge the contest as fast as I can

27th April 2015...

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Trying to get back to some kind of routine
My body's all aching and I need the latrine
System's all screwed
Don't want to be crude
But the contents of my bladder could fill a ravine...

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Fido took time watering the large tree
Forced to stand in line at dog park to pee
Fidgeting they can't hold it
Fearing to move they all sit
A pet peeve, with bladder concern; knock-knee

5/1/2024...

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I have to go pee you see and my bladder is oh so tiny 
so won't you please hurry, no don't show your hiney
one leg up 
on leg down 
go ahead leak, then get out of my way, ... Oh Blimey!...

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Is heaven same place they call paradise?
Whatever you want always will suffice
While angels fly around and soon scatter
Saw me raising hell releasing my bladder.

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran...

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A pool player taking a snooze
Had a dream that his match he would lose.
	Since his bladder would squeeze
	He was minding his pees
But he should have been minding his cues!


for Andrea's "Show Me the Funny" contest...

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Badder Bladder Climbing Ladder

There had been a problem with my bladder,
Higher and higher I would climb tall ladder;
When I quibbled,
Dribbled and dribbled;
Bader and bader did become my bladder.

Jim Horn...

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once again
i've eaten
too much
soup

my bladder
from the last
twenty four hours
has given in to not

giving
again the
tracks are 
backing up

after all
in the States
why don't we have
bullet trains...

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Santa Claus was trimming his tree

when his cat shrieked like a banshee

Freaked, Santa fell from the ladder

and groaned, "I emptied my bladder."




12/20/2020
Christmas Chastushka
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich...

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Trying to get back to some kind of routine
My body's all aching and I need the latrine
System's all screwed
Don't want to be crude
But the contents of my bladder could fill a ravine


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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By Trump Were Reassured

Of course by Trump we were reassured
None of his diseases could be cured
And all of the points he does belabor
Makes you think that he is our savior
Pain from tiny bladder has endured.

Jim Horn...

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