Screwing Poems

But Now I Can't

I ain’t gonna to prison babes, for something I didn’t do
O’ no babes, not when the real blame all falls with you
You left me loving you, yet ya destroyed all of my trust
Ripped my heart wide open, then you left it in the dust

I can want you as much as I can want you, but now I can’t

You were just a player babe, just out to have some fun
Loving me, then dumping me, when you were all done
I thought I was too long in the tooth babe for all of this
But you kept screwing away until the pain inside it hits

I can want you as much as I can want you, but now I can’t

Nothin’ I can do babe, I’m just left wishing you the best
Ain’t no pride left inside of me, I knows, I failed the test
So; take yourself down to the river, if it gives you peace
Take away your troubles; give you some kind of release

Because . . . 

I can want you as much as I can want you, but now I can’t

It's just an Adventure

looking back to when I was a lad
They said times were hard, They said things were bad.
Picking up tatties, the pulling of peas
Coming back home with scratched grimy knees.
Screwing the Beetroot, yes that is right
Removing the tops from morning till night.
You couldn't cut the tops off, that made them bleed
Keeping your eye out for the sharp stinging weed.
Finger nails were always full of mud
Scrubbing hands would do no good.
Summer break were still lots of fun
When working the fields were almost done.
We didn't have computers, four channels of TV
Top of the pops were the highlights for me.
Kicking the football out on the street
A clip around the ear from the bobby on the beat.
Looking back it wasn't that bad
Lots of fond memories when I was a lad.
Holidays were over it was back to the grind
Wondering what lessons the teachers had in mind.
I didn't mind maths and history was great
The adventures we made up me and my best mate.
Now that I'm older looking back realise
My whole life's been an adventure through this pair of eyes.

Darn Sleep

Darn Sleep

Always Screwing Up Memories
I Might Want To Keep.

-Gray Squirrel

05-17-2025

taking care of my soul

have to screw it down
tightly lately

being often lighter than air
it tends to float

it gets stuck somewhere
maybe in tree limbs
or under a parked car on a rainy day

then again it often feels
like a 100 pounds of suet
a drag to carry around

so daily i screw it if its floats
or lift it up on a hoist
to drain off all the kind of bull crap
any soul can pick up
when it rolls around in the mud
like a flop-eared hound dog

i tell it that it is most certainly real
however
  unfortunately
                i am not
being only a deranged
figment of its imagination

and that i am sorry
about all the
screwing
lifting
draining and dragging

then it rests for a while
with a smile on my face

How Can It Be

It quite amazes me
how it can be,
all the millions strong
somehow have got it wrong?

For those confused
by propagandized news,
take a look again
and you'll see the spin.

The Washington elites
prefer the sheep
not to know what's true
while they're screwing you!

That bad orange man
and his demonic plans,
shall somehow bring to ruin
a false narrative, their spew'n!

Given time, you'll all see,
what government should be,
drain the swamp a must,
for that, in Trump we trust!

Self Assembly

Well the left bit’s connected to the back bit
And the back bit’s connected to the right bit
And it all fits together on the base bit
Then you turn the whole thing over for the top bit

The bit that goes inside looks like it might fit
So stick it in and hope that it’s a tight fit
Then these four little round bits, each a floor bit
Must be said at best they are a poor fit

This bit must go somewhere but it won’t fit
And this bit is apparently the door bit
There’s a bag of little bits they call a screw kit
The leaflet says there’s sixteen screws that you fit

No wonder nothing seemed to be a good fit
Now I’m feeling stupid and a right nit
So I took it all apart and grabbed a screw bit
Screwing screw bits where I need a screw fit

Oops, I see the top bit isn’t well fit
I think I’ve used the top bit as the shelf bit
Now I think I’ve gone and lost a floor bit
And the hinge bits will not fit into the door bit

Now I’ve got to fit the little latch bit
But it seems it hasn’t got the catch bit
I’m at the point at which I wanna burn it
So I’ll take it all apart… 

and then return it

We were never friends

Your just a girl on the streets 
Who took advantage of me
Look’n sweet, running cheap, mirror vanity 
Your screwing elite
You feel complete 
Don’t use me to be discrete 
Come out of the woods 
I know it’s you 
Stop watching me 

Years gave gone by and I feel fine 
What you gonna do if I die 
Love me or hate me I’ll be holding a rip sign 
Don’t forget to say to goodbye

Screwing Up or Hooking Up

Yup ... there's no question about it,
    I'm talking about sex, and all the 
        Calamity and comedy that surrounds.

Yet I'm not sure if the destiny will
    Defer to the clumsy, or if it will 
        Remain nerve-racking on all grounds.


Because seriously, it is by far the most
    Common and popular topic, that virtually
        Everyone is scared to death to talk about.

Starting with the basics, the birds & bees,
    Before graduating to STD's, I often
        Wonder if the birthrate is in doubt.


This nauseating nervousness stays with
    Us always, from the first dance to the
        Last nuptial that we profess.

So as long as those butterflies keep
    Flittering, we might get lucky with a 
        Sexual encounter, I guess.


It seems ironic that something so natural,
    Can bestow so much anxiety with the 
        Mere thought of its success.

While we fumble along, sometimes pulling
    A loose foot out of our mouth, but who knows,
        We've done more with less.

Expectations Under Wraps on Christmas Eve

Kimo, haiku, couplet

Expectations Under Wraps on Christmas Eve

wild hammering and disciplined screwing
of elves in Santa’s workshop -
will toys be fiddled with…

an exotic sleigh
and a ho ho ho drives hard
through the dark of night

unlike the North Pole the blinking lights sleep
as Santa rides down in chimney sweep

The Carpenter

He came over and over
I served dinner, even wine
he screwed me and the wine
well he uncorked the wine
fixed a squeaky door after the wine
that fixed my little heart just fine
all his screwing around was so romantic
that afterwards
we kissed

Mister Twister's Sister

Mister Twister had a sister
A maiden oh so fair
Mister Twister and his sister
Was born in Delaware

Mister Twister's little sister
Then left to go to college
Mister Twister knew his sister
Was hungry still for knowledge

Mister Twister called his sister
To see how she was doing
Mister Twister's baby sister
Spent all her time there screwing

So Mister Twister's little sister
Dropped out the first semester
Mister Twister found his sister
A job as an ice cream tester

Mister Twister praised his sister
Cause her testing skill astounds
Mister Twister's baby sister
Now weighs three hundred pounds

I Ain'T

I ain't poor 
I'm just broke 
So I need to fix it 

I want more 
I won't choke 
And I ain't gon' quit 

With my hammer 
I'm knocking down the walls of fear and shame 
I will stand and deliver without a stammer 

With my screwdriver 
I'm screwing into my goals 
Taking some risks and jumping like a diver 

I ain't poor 
I'm just broke 
And I gotta fix it 

I want more 
I won't choke 
'Cause I'm in it to win it 

With my pliers
I'm holding fast to faith and work
I'm pulling out all the nails of doubt and I'm 
twisting all deniers

With my wrench in hand
Dreams I'm building and tightening
My design will beautifully stand 

As I said,

I ain't poor 
I'm just broke 
And now I'm fixing it

No Time For a Nursery Rhyme

Mary had a little lamp,
Its bulb would nightly glow.
It cast a white, but gentle light,
So her pimples wouldn't show.

Little Jack Horner tried to warn her,
But she told him to go away.
Left feeling glum, he drank some rum;
And passed out in the hay.

Little Bo Peep pretended to sleep,
As she cuddled up right beside him.
When he awoke, neither one spoke;
And she soon decided to ride him.

The Farmer in the Dell, knowing well,
What they both were in there doing.
Called out to his wife, to bring him a knife;
And stabbed them while they were screwing.

Jack Sprat, on the jury sat,
His wife held photos of the scene.
The Farmer did it, Judge had to admit it,
Then passed a sentence that wasn't lean.

So Mary brought her little lamp,
On the day of the execution.
She thought inside, while the Farmer fried,
Better pimples than electrocution.

Ground - Tanka 116

                                       Imbalanced and cold
                   Removing soles to get soul
                                     Earthlings to the ground
                   Negative IONS around
                                  Screwing back in and charging

Whoredoms

In halls of legislature statesmen rule
  by vested interest and inside rort,
and when last ballots are cast me and you’ll
  be no wiser whose allegiance is bought.
In jurist action lawyers plead their case
  as God your witness on the bible swore, 
but alas I fear if not for God’s grace
  you won’t find justice in a court of law.
On dark lit streets prostitutes bend their rack
  risking life and liberty at each leer -
that screwing whore on her uncovered back
  robs us only of a ride paying fare.
But what she does to us all hot and wet
the other two do every chance they get!


         Written: November 1992

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