Self Assembly

Well the left bit’s connected to the back bit
And the back bit’s connected to the right bit
And it all fits together on the base bit
Then you turn the whole thing over for the top bit

The bit that goes inside looks like it might fit
So stick it in and hope that it’s a tight fit
Then these four little round bits, each a floor bit
Must be said at best they are a poor fit

This bit must go somewhere but it won’t fit
And this bit is apparently the door bit
There’s a bag of little bits they call a screw kit
The leaflet says there’s sixteen screws that you fit

No wonder nothing seemed to be a good fit
Now I’m feeling stupid and a right nit
So I took it all apart and grabbed a screw bit
Screwing screw bits where I need a screw fit

Oops, I see the top bit isn’t well fit
I think I’ve used the top bit as the shelf bit
Now I think I’ve gone and lost a floor bit
And the hinge bits will not fit into the door bit

Now I’ve got to fit the little latch bit
But it seems it hasn’t got the catch bit
I’m at the point at which I wanna burn it
So I’ll take it all apart… 

and then return it

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024



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Date: 11/20/2024 1:50:00 PM
Laughing my head off as I read this Terry. Oh boy, this is so relatable! Your poems are great and I'm really enjoying reading them. Thanks for the laugh today ~ Cheers Anne :-)
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Terry Flood
Date: 11/20/2024 2:51:00 PM
Thanks, new-fan Anne, I might be guilty of mini fraud… I’m actually pretty good with flat pack stuff, but I do recall the time before I realised that instructions are a communist ploy designed to divert our attention from the coming invasion… NURSE!!! I need my medicine ;-)
Date: 11/14/2024 9:02:00 AM
What a creative/fun write. Did you just watch me open a box up/try to put it together. Now return time??? Hahaha!!! Have a fun day writing away.............
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Terry Flood
Date: 11/14/2024 11:04:00 AM
Glad you enjoyed this, Paula. I remember once having a flat-pack cabinet that had the parts labelled A, B, C etc… alas the instructions showed each part labelled with different letters… useful, huh?
Date: 11/13/2024 10:00:00 PM
A road we've all been down, and the flat pack rage that follows, it turns the air a dark shade of blue. Been to IKEA have we lol. Tom
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Terry Flood
Date: 11/14/2024 10:55:00 AM
Actually, never been through the door of an IKEA. But I had an aquarium shop for 23 years and have put more cabinets together than I could count. It was after the first couple that I worked out that a good look at the picture and discarding the instructions was the answer. Nowadays, I could almost throw them together blindfold.
Date: 11/13/2024 7:36:00 PM
lol Been there done that lol. Thanks Terry I thought I was the only one to experienced what you described lol. Great humor in this one totally could relate my friend...
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Terry Flood
Date: 11/14/2024 10:51:00 AM
Thanks, Michael. Nowadays I’m pretty handy with flat-packs, but I remember the first few I put together almost sent me round the bend ;-)
Date: 11/13/2024 4:06:00 PM
Funny and clever as per my f.f!! Debx
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Terry Flood
Date: 11/13/2024 5:00:00 PM
I truly hoped that the ‘Dem bones’ tune would be obvious… I so hope you couldn’t help but sing it. Either way, I’m chuffed that you enjoyed, Deb. Terry x
Date: 11/13/2024 3:04:00 PM
hahahah you crease me up Terry and its even more irritating when the vital bits are missing and I love it when the instructions are foreign ' engerlishhh' too. hugsJan xx
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Terry Flood
Date: 11/13/2024 5:04:00 PM
I know you sang it… don’t deny it… you couldn’t help yourself… go on… admit it. ha ha… ….. P.S. thanks for enjoying
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