It is a teamwork type of thing-
Ringing the bell so well
The next mashup of a maxed out bashing of an over flowing cup of mountain water upstream-
Kings the next castling on the other side of the ring
Ding-ding
Back for more “bling, bling!”
Onion rings on the side, pretty please!
Watch how my truck sings as it revs up after a mental rental goes caching ching
Just saying...
Lying, laying, slaying & spraying-
Weighed in like Jayda- WILL SMITH I "lit" my cig-
was fuzzy wuzzy big?
Failed Trigonometry
Sold Origami
My salami
Is like " Salam Aleiki"
Hate me please
It could be a breeze
I am NOT on my knees
Please
Jeez!
Go TX!
Your brain spilled like wine
Roots severed in gory detail
Thorn's twist around the vine,
I loved that you were not fine.
And you ate my leftovers
greedily: an apple core, a slice of salami and my chocolate cake
infantile on the couch curled, my
Caterpillar cucooned in bedcovers.
I loved that you died
by my side
Reverse birth and I knew you'd do it
I knew you'd done it when I walked
through the door
and it smelt like silk.
In the kitchen, where the hob held some sort of memory
I thought of how my red legacy spilt through
the white duvet,
And how
you could never make a fuss when I didn't stay
And how you could never really cook,
though you tried to.
Come now and agree, we love a big platter
Heaps of yummy food, causing much chatter.
Arrangements appealing the keys to success
Remember, fill small bowls so there is no mess.
Cheeses, sharp cheddar, some goat, brie and blue
Using variety, is what you must do.
Top up any gaps with dried fruits, nuts and treats
Ensure to have grapes and berries so sweet.
Remember the spreads, hummus dip and tzatziki
Everyone loves crackers, crunchy and crispy,
Bread sticks around edges. will make it look right
Olives, all colours, the palate’s delight.
Add meats that are salty, savoury and spicey
Roast pork, some prosciutto, and please add salami.
Don’t forget, pop the cork, raise a glass, to the hostie!
Let’s parley about pasta as World famous as the rasta Bob Marley
With potato rascal parcel not American Italian stallion like Rocky
Cocky stubby not ice hockey puck but stocky chubby soft gnocchi
Pizza is also a master blaster for those who chose good food faster
Cool old school cellar creamy mozzarella dreamy stellar mortadella
Better also for pancetta regatta bold umami tsunami of salami army
Drunken rapscallions parmesan medallions gold from sunken galleons
More is less finesse caress expedient ingredient largess will impress
Motto in gourmet grotto wins the lotto is of course Goddess risotto
Totemic signature vinegar star Balsamic the talismanic tsar in a jar
By the way we're told they say come what may ever day "agrodolce"
Our guilt
It was the longest street in the world on each side
had shops selling salami and cheese, mind each
The product changed its name to attract customers.
Only the street was empty. There is only a certain
The number of salami and cheese needed.
No cars on the road, just a few starving dogs, I took
off one of my jumpers, it's been a cold morning,
and they fought each other to the death.
In some shops, there were cheese parties for mice
I was not invited and continued walking on this street
must end somewhere, I didn`t know where, not that
I can walk the rest of the road tomorrow.
My sister had a hotel I took in there during dinner
She said I had not been generous to my mother this
upset me, so I had several whiskies for the pain she
had caused me, but I ate the food before leaving.
The truth was too upsetting if you did as your mother’
wants you to get nowhere. In a flower shop, I saw
a big rat killing a kitten, and there was nothing I could
do than living with the guilt of having been a bad son
I poop every morning after a Pizzelle slathered in Nutella
it is nine am in Italy and not a good time to eat mortadella
I poop after lunch after eating pizza with spicy pepperoni
it is twelve o'clock and way too early to eat my macaroni
I poop in the evening after my pasta al forno with cheese
its much too early for my salami sandwich, " Jeez Louise!"
I poop before bed and I let out a great Ah Ah, Mama Mia
as the neighbors yell out the window keep it down " Maria! "
Of course I poop like a proper Italian and here's the squeeze,
when we use the Latrina we fan ourselves to get a tiny breeze!
stop feeding your puppy people food, the vet said.
My husband and I are both worthy liars; we agree.
Neither of us planning to keeping to this promise.
Our puppy loves people food.
Today I sneaked him pepper jack cheese, eggs, tomatoes and corn chips.
I saw my husband throw him salami, bacon and ham.
And it is not yet two p.m.
It's a new day as the hot sun starts,
here reporting on the cheese battle.
Overnight the wine and cheese taverns,
moved in for the cracker spread.
The cider & charcuterue shacks,
were not having any of that.
They are fighting back hard,
with hard salami and cubed cheddar.
Looks like they will not let some wine and cheese taverns,
win this cheese battle.
As the sun sets,
both sides are very tired.
The wine and cheese taverns,
did the unthinkable.
They let loose the wine,
and drowned the other side.
This reporter from String Cheese City,
is signing off for tonight I'm Sharp Slice.
Kiddies, I'm sorry to say that Santa may be visiting you late this year,
As he struggles to circle the Earth spreading his delightful cheer!
Santa had to retire Rudoloph and his friends leaving them much aggrieved,
And long-suffering Mrs Claus is in a snit and left sorely peeved!
It may be New Years Day before he arrives, but he'll visit you eventually,
So place a snack of cookies and milk or salami and cheese 'neath the tree!
That old grinch in the White House decreed that dear old Santa's sleigh,
Henceforth, must be battery powered, to be effective on this Christmas Day!
Alas, Santa must land every 350 miles or so, the battery to refresh!
(Hopefully, he can do this in such unlikely places as Bangladesh)!
No longer will you hear reindeer hooves dancing on your roof in the snow!
But be patient, little ones; Santa will greet you soon with a cheery ho-ho-ho!
Town-horses
In my youth, horse transport -a one-man job
was still available for shorter journeys, a vanishing business; when the last horse-drawn carriage firm gave up, there was a picture in the newspaper of a man and a horse.
I often wondered what happened to the dear old horses spending a long time outside shops waiting for their flat-beds to be fully loaded
Looking at them was a study of longanimity, but
I don't think horses have a sense of time, just hunger or thirst as day eased towards evening
Since no farmers wanted the elderly horses, they
had tractors imported from America.
My mother said horses were slaughtered in hidden abattoirs since no one cared to admit they were eating horse flesh, made into salami and dog food.
At the local history museum, there are pictures of
the horses that helped transport building materials, making the town into a city, supplying
the housewives with manure for the roses.
Kenny loved sandwiches of spam
His Mother would rather he ate ham
His Dad loved salami
His Sister was barmy
And only ate bread, butter and jam
Peanut butter and jelly is my go-to sandwich every day.
You can have your turkey, beef, and salami, all your very way.
I care not for pickles, relish, ranch, mustard, or mayo.
Please hang on to your onions, lettuce, and bit of tomato.
Peanut butter and jelly is the sandwich of my dream.
I do not care about pork – barbequed or steamed.
Just make sure the jelly is grape, and not strawberry.
You can save the meats and cheeses for my cousin Harry.
Keep your bacon, keep your ham
Keep your loganberry jam
No pastrami
No salami
In my sarnie I want Spam
Ain’t no bones, ain’t no brains
Ain’t no seeds, ain’t no grains
Slightly spicy
Tasty nicey
Spam ain’t got any veins
And the tin that it’s in
Kinda square, kinda thin
Ring pull lid
Key got rid
Spam don’t slice off your skin
So that’s Spam; good to eat
Not some cheap luncheon meat
Fried or cold
I’m just sold
Because Spam can’t be beat
They were stopping everyone;
made us answer their questionnaires.
We were told that there were
no right or wrong answers,
but weeks later - a letter.
Apparently the socially correct
had a beef with me.
A ham sandwich had recently been indicted
and jailed.
One of the questions I replied to
smelled slightly off,
seditious salami flavored sins
had been detected.
A tuna casserole had declared independence
from rainy Wednesdays.
Now the fridge is being audited,
there's something fishy in the air,
and the cops are hiding in my rose bushes
taking recipe notes.
I have complained to Yelp.
Confusing walk
It was the longest street in the world shops on each side
selling salami and cheese depending on the shop, the same product
had a different name proclaiming to be the best.
Today the shops are empty, save for a few dogs, people are tired
of salami and cheese, you can’t fool them with a fancy name hinting
they are Italian made in Livorno; what a fraud!
In shops, there were cheese parties for mice sitting pretty nibbling
the stray dog and I were not invited; we kept on walking in the hope
of finding a butcher selling hamburger meat and dog bones.
Where the street ended in another country consisting of sheep
clog dancing shepherds, my sister had a hotel, I could get a room
In the basement, but preferred to board a clipper sailing to Japan.
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