Best Ridiculous Poems

1: If love is a game we need a referee
2: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!  Um…
3: I loved her to death but got off on a technicality
4: Star-crossed lovers occasionally get crossed up and can get rather cross about...

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A ridiculous sight for all to see;
in my tacky sweater of Charlie Brown,
I'm sitting nervously on Santa's knee.

I wouldn’t be here, except my friends dared me;
a full-grown man acting more like a clown,
I'm sitting nervously on Santa's knee.

When my friends start laughing, I try to...

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Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous...

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Babies have been known to crawl
Up to seven hundred feet a day
Better tie a rope tightly around them
Or they'll wind up miles away

Sex burns 360 calories per hour
Who has sex for an hour
Longest for me is seventy-three seconds
Burn more just having a shower 

In Finland...

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" Rime of the Ridiculous Mariner "

{warbled to the Merry Tune: Jingle Bells!}

Jingle Bells & Flyin' Hulls
All sheets in so tight~
Yikes Ahoy! There's the ploy!
Sail right through this night!

Run downwind beat to weather
fall off as ye wish~
Set your mizzen up yer main
tops'ls catch all flyin'...

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A saint,
checking the book of life,
his name unfound...

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Buck buck buh-buck-buck
Buck buck buh-buck
Buck buck, buck buck, buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck.

Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buh-KAW k'buck
Buh-KAW k'buck buck
Buh-KAW k'buck
Buck buck buck buck
Buck buck buck
Bucka buck bucka bucka buck
A'buck buck buck....

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NO ONE WANTS TO LIVE IN A COLD HOME
from the album "Heaters for Sale"
by Not Paul McCarney 

No one wants to live in a cold home, cold home
Uncle Albert says you should go home, go home
Turn the heat up or sit by the fire
Toasty as...

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a saraband

Big smile, laughter with a reason.
Clowns oft disguise their pain with mirth,
like the buffoon, Jackie Gleason.

Stand-up comics are risible;
Dick Van Dyke's stunts were visible.
Grimaldi of London was right -
"Grim all day" but funny at night

written June 17, 2017

risible means "arousing or provoking laughter"...

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I. Lyric Written in 1958 at Age Eight
Sung with Friends on the Schoolyard 
to the tune of "Curiosity Killed the Cat" 
from Peeping Penguins (1937)

There's poopoo on the ground
There's poopoo on the ground
Looks like it, smells like, tastes like it too
Put your foot in it...

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Wash Those Froggies, Wash Those Froggies,
Dirty Froggies Get Eaten By Moggies.
Don't Be Mean, Get Them Clean
While You Read Your Magazine....

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You'll never know how much I gag on peanuts
You'll never know how rotten peanuts are.

Listen. 
Do you want to eat a peanut
Do you promise not to heave. 
Woh oo Woo oh 
Closer. 
Let me stuff one in your ear
So that you can hardly hear
I'm in...

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If they are staring at you anyway, 
do a little soft shoe....

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Universal Sea Shanty; or, The Generic Folk Song

Sailing with potatoes
Sailing with potatoes
Sailing with potatoes
The perfect Irish jig....

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There was an old lady 
who lay in the clay
It hardened like concrete
so there she will stay....

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