It's enough to make one chunder
there used to be a time Down Under
when fair dinkum the label on the tucker tin
only stated the true blue maker's name
and the Vegemite we'd eat for brekkie contained therein
while not a porky implied mate there's something to hide
with a shonky no responsibility disclaimer
I’m spewin’ cranky as today's focus is on what's not inside
no GMO cholesterol additives gluten calories caffeine nuts
no added colouring sugar preservatives
no artificial sweeteners monounsaturated
no polyunsaturated &/or trans fats
and bloody oath cobber that's not all as I recall
no worries tho' there's also low sodium
not whingeing but one wonders if it's a dodgy admission
there's no bonzer thingo within such as ace nutrition
meanwhile I'll fill my billycan from yon billabong
surrounded by a few emu and a roo or two
as up a gum tree the kookaburra laughingly looks on
there's nothing more I can do so may as well
bung another shrimp on the barbie blow the froth off a few
have one last blast on me didgeridoo Blue and shoot through
democracy is
like mobocracy or like
gangocracy ~ folks
conservatives are
like preservatives ~ packaged
seasoned condiments
green party nature's
most guarded percentages ~
dimes quarters and halves
national org. of
women ~ beauty contest is
the bow wow n-o-w club
peace corp manned front lines
hyped to show peace sign with hands
~ fingers ... two not one
Here’s the double standard
The goal for someone
To eat healthy is
Not putting pesticides
Steroids, antibiotics
And preservatives in
The food to preserve it
Which is harmful to the
Human body
I had put our meeting off so many times for fear that it would fail, and be a waste of time. I prepared a lovely salad. Thought I'd make some mayonnaise. The kind I thought you liked, with a yolk of free-range eggs, gluten-free and ovovegetarian. Low-carb to be on the safe side as well. Not the bottled commercial stuff full of preservatives and chemicals, but hand-made fresh from scratch au naturel, sweet, tasty, tangy and lovely.
I gently beat the egg yolk and slowly drizzled the vegetable oil into it a few drops at a time, while whisking, relatively not too briskly. I thought all was going ever so well. But the mixture became clumpy and lumpy as the emulsion broke, fell apart, and separated. I started again, mixing ever so slowly this time to bring the immiscible oil and yolk slowly together to meld and combine. But I failed again and again and again.
Out of eggs, with no time to get more, I made a vinaigrette instead! Oil and vinegar, smooth and rough, sweet and sour. They meld so well, despite their relative quirks and differences. No yolk this time. Touche.
Every law enforcement official out on patrol,
was desperate to capture The Vegan Cannibal,
so named from a note left with one of its victims,
leading to a series of murders that terrified every vegan.
It read, "I am a cannibal who does my best to eat healthy,
and vegans are the healthiest of all my desired meat.
Only a true vegan will yours truly eat.
Nothing artificial, no preservatives, mostly fresh food they consume.
Vegans are the healthiest and tastiest meat I have ever known,
so bid all of your vegan associates a hearty farewell,
should they cross paths with yours truly, The Vegan Cannibal."
The Vegan Cannibal was never apprehended, but its reign ceased,
when the vegans began consuming mass quantities of junk food and meat.
Sorrow on my tongue is a sly taste of meth,
Resentment runs through my veins
I'm like added preservatives to your favorite food
Hard to read, unable to pronounce
I'm emotionless, without care or meaning.
Many say that they regret the day of there birth,
I thought some were crazy, until I regretted my own
Sorrow of my inner soul drives me crazy
To avoid sudden hatred toward myself, is too just rid
myself of ones own image.
How does one do so without killing their own mind.
Their feet are not petite. They are huge.
No hiding or sneaking. No subterfuge.
Fifth graders' feet are as big as boats.
Where is the drink me anecdote?
Clown shoes for them might be too small.
If I had their feet, I would never fall.
Preservatives have bulked them up so big.
Here is be tiny juice, please take a swig.
We eat factory made, ready to eat food
Full of preservatives, for health not good
We eat food stuffs many months old
As not expired, the package told
Eating in hotels, road side stalls
Without thinking about its pitfalls
Tasty food entices our mind
To our stomach we're unkind
We neither exercise nor walk
About them we only talk
Using gadgets for every job
All physical activity we rob
Glued to mobile all day long
For little rest our eyes long
We have time for everything
Except cooking and eating
Nature, the lungs of our life
We destroy adding to our strife
Potable water, used for drinking
Its quantum, rapidly dwindling
Happy mind our biggest wealth
Also a cause for good health
With negatives, we ruin our days
It is high time we change our ways
Let's make health and happiness our aim
If neglected others we cannot blame
Good health bestows everything
Without it we are reduced to nothing
If we alter the way we live our day
We'll be healthy, I can surely say
I hear folks sayin' they have the right
To determine what goes into their bodies,
They are putting up an audacious fight
While scarfing down alcoholic toddies.
We have no idea what’s in the foods we eat
Chemicals and preservatives are so prevalent,
While inking up our skin, thinking it’s so neat
While performing a most dangerous stunt.
We don’t like being told what to take
Especially when it comes from Uncle Sam,
But we eagerly turn to the government
When we get ourselves into a financial jam.
We take the pills our doctor prescribes
And, frankly, some that our doctor doesn’t
So why are we writing all these diatribes
And taking medical advice from a cousin?
If I have a question, I’ll trust Doctor Fauci,
Who’s studied immunology his whole life
Suffering through a tiny jab … an “ouchee”
And cut out all the phony-baloney strife!
writen October 19, 2021
I face what most be ducking.
I escape what most be stuck in.
I roar, while they be clucking.!
I stand, no crawling.
Marching forward, no stalling.
Speaking of it, teaching, no preaching.
I grab it, no reaching.
Serving it raw, no preservatives.
Aint giving Caesar nothing at all.
All the glory goes to “The All”,
God is my staff and my rod.
He is my pillar and my rock,
He removes the obstacle's that block,
keeps my mind open.
And my vulnerable parts blocked.
He opens my heart when needed,
or keeps it protected under lock.
What I lack he's got my back, for me,
he is always up to bat.
I am standing on his foundation,
I see premonitions with my internal eye.
Sometimes I sit and cry...
Yet, I face the future with bravery.
I carry the DNA of slavery,
from which he did deliver me.
I have a built-in sensory, to repel the unsavory.
Thick with wit, never dense.
Always thankful for my God-given sense.
No boasting, just facts...
Behind this English preposition...
“I know where my God is at".
Barz for God!!
Whatever happened
To afternoon tea
Served around four o-clock
It used to be a daily ceremony
Out came a pretty cloth
From an old sideboard drawer
To put on a small table
Used many times before
On to this table
Doylies and napkins placed
Precisely and carefully
There was no need to race
Then came the china
A person's very best
Teapot and cosy
And an antique spoon rest
Fairy cubes of sugar
Along with bowl and tongs
Wireless playing softly
To the now old-fashioned songs
Now to the best part, the spread
Oh! the spread
Everything home-made
Especially the bread
Assorted sandwiches, sometimes ham
Mostly it was scones with cream and jam
Nothing elaborate just wholesome fare
Loving-kindness sprinkled there
Not a Macdonalds to be seen long ago
And preservatives were not so prevalent
So, most grew their own vegetables
And had gardens with fruit trees
Used old-fashioned methods
To nurture these
They grew organic without realising
Healthy, rewarding and very enterprising
I, face what most be ducking;
I escape what most be stuck in.
I, roar while they are clucking.!
I stand, no crawling;No Shucking.
Marching forward,no stalling.
Speaking on it, teaching,not preaching.
I grab it,no reaching;
Serving it raw, no preservatives;
Ain't giving Caesar nothing at all.
All the glory goes to “The All”,
God, is my staff and my rod.
He is my pillar and my rock,
He removes the obstacles that block,
keeps my mind open;
And my vulnerable parts blocked.
He opens my heart when needed,
or keeps it protected under lock.
What I lack he's got,he's got my back,
and front for me,
he's always up to bat.
I am standing on his foundation,
I see premonitions with my internal eye;
Sometimes I sit and cry...
Yet, I face the future with bravery;
I carry the DNA of slavery,
from which he did deliver me.
I have a built-in sensory, to repel the unsavory.
Thick with wit, never dense.
Always thankful for my God-given sense.
No boasting, just facts...
Behind this English preposition...
“I know where my God is at".
Barz for God!!
There are those of use who go about each day
Their hands folded nicely but all they pray is that their hands remain
Untouched by all the dirt they may encounter along the way
Neatly folded hands, never getting down to business
They delegate it instead to the rest, maintaining the appearance of faultless, pristine clean hands.
And I sometimes wish that they would eat more of the McDonald’s they eat alone in the car each day as they head into the office
And that they would have the guts to openly eat a McRib sandwich for lunch instead of the twenty-dollar chi-chi salads they order with friends and mid-day meeting participants.
For all the preservatives in a McLunch will surely delay the deterioration of their clean, pure hands
After the life in them is gone, they will at least look nice for many years to come
Before returning to the dirt from whence they’d begun.
So much contamination
needs a close examination.
take a breath of radiation
or a toxic medication
select a name with aspartame
clean your car of acid rain
eat the food with preservatives
and other long letter additives
from the air-borne pathogens
to the many carcinogens
wipe off this and sanitize that
Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch
landfills loaded with human waste
trash mountains growing at rapid pace
fish lying dead from climate change
icebergs and coastlines rearranged
and now in our existence
is the practice of social distance
Contamination of all kinds
even pollution of our minds.
3/31/17
'STRAND no 700
Brian Strand, Sponsor
Bugs, spiders and an insect-free world,
Dangerous animals were gone,
Snakes disappeared,
Crocodiles, alligators, and sharks,
No longer exist,
Children could swim happy and free,
Nothing was alive that could hurt people,
Viruses colds and flu evaporated,
Sickness illness departed,
People never got the taste for animals,
Vegetables filled the earth,
Growing without planting,
Reseed like grass,
Nuts and berries ever abundant,
Pollination just happened,
A generous rich evergreen coverage,
Ready ripe succulently beautiful,
Juicy fruits sprouting everywhere,
Hanging from our houses, walls and gates,
The earth would germinate and shoot buds,
Without any help from humans,
Life would be so easy,
Even children could feed them selfs,
People would be slim and healthy,
The waters pure for drinking,
No additives or preservatives,
Or factory produced foods,
No evil could exist in people,
Our brains could only feel love.
If only I could change the world.
24/07/2016
For competition sponsor Becca Teagan
Related Poems