Speaking has been very hard to do
now at 72 its always evident since birth
maybe not so bad, pre-school, I felt
thinking my stammer the only one on earth
But over the years, it's come and go
causing me many anxious times
school, I hated every day I was there
so glad to leave to reach my climb
Many so-called magic cures I tried
hoping for release from my frozen tongue
none did much to escape my cage
though felt free when a song I sung
Now looking back over life's years
except when singing, tongue was stuck
I realise now acceptance is my key
it is what it is, so get on life's truck
If I had accepted it these years ago
what a lot of stress I would have missed
but it's all history now, move on forward
overcome stammering, controlling words fished!
The Chicken and the Egg
Woke up fearing the blood sugar
was too low, so I went into the kitchen to get something to eat
found under a platter, a small fried chicken leg
I thought chicken legs were getting smaller and smaller
They must kill the chicken as soon as they get out of the egg
Not a chance for them to be yellow, innocent babies
as painted on the wall in the pre-school visited by a
32-year-old veteran of 8 wars.
It goes without saying that veterans are heroes defending
say, America, from being invaded by all and sundry
But we know the war they fight and often die for is
in the service of warmongers and Israel
Sharing is good, a basic lesson
I learned in pre-school
And it’s what most people
Both rich and poor go on to do
But when it’s forced, coerced
Taken without consent
It’s not sharing
It’s just theft
Something I also got lessons about
When I was just a child
(1/10/26)
My favourite time in childhood
was pre-school as the only one
playing in my own little bedroom
with my toys and myself for fun
These days, I realised one thing
communication was a real defect
realising I had a stammer, so real
caused me trouble whoever I met
So I really loved life on my own
loving my own company O so sweet
learning to be content and happy
lying on the floor was my comfy seat
We had two cats and a dog
they were great friends for me
love to cuddle them in my arms
watch them run around so free
These days were special memories
ones that I look back with joy
it's amazing now at seventy-one plus
I wonder what I could say to that little boy
I am a most well-balanced kid,
so why did I do just what I did?
Flunked from pre-school for one ride
in a Red Ryder wagon on the slide.
True, I am an enterprising tike.
So, I strapped the wagon to a bike.
I charge a reasonable price (one quid)
for every ride and every kid.
When it was time to take a nap,
I told Miss Hot Stuff to shut her yap,
and cut her in on the action,
much to her satisfaction.
So, Mister Principal, my friend,
I propose a happy end.
I wouldn't want to see any trouble.
I'll take my place back on the double.
I am adopted and a single child
having a stammer since pre-school
I also loved soccer to play and watch
at 12, I got to go to my first game, real cool!
This was fab to go on my own
for the very first time just me
a real sense of freedom I stood there
on the terrace standing tall as a tree
That was the first of many games
throughout lots of years
many victories among many defeats
the atmosphere and thrill tingle my ears
Looking back now to a special memory
that first day lies special in my heart
feeling that sense of security but free
this was to mould me in no small part
That day prepared me for future life
whatever struggles of life would face
the grounding I made then framed me
to lift myself over every hilltop without a trace
When I look back on my childhood
the pre-school days were the best
living as an only child in the country
although adopted was treated as a guest
In my bedroom, I played with my toys
lots of farm figures were such fun
felt like I had my very own farm
took a break when I went out to run
One of my favourites is Betta Build
to build little houses just like new
also loved my Meccano set
spent endless hours doing all I knew
AS a loner I loved my own company
spending quality time with just me
such sweet contentment to enjoy
gives you a feeling of being free
Having a stammer caused to be alone
but don't regret it, no not at all
for learned such a lot about myself
years later, able to ride over many a fall
(This is about autobiographical account of my childhood. The life I remember from my pre-school memories which were my favourite years.)
A toddler in a stroller passed
And, looking at her face,
It seemed to me that she was
Merely staring into space.
Which made me wonder – could it be
She’d nothing on her mind?
If not, and I could read her thoughts,
What musings would I find?
I wish I had a lollipop.
I need some better toys.
My pre-school class has way too many
Mean and nasty boys.
My lunch today was yucky.
Why does Mommy have to work?
And why did Daddy come home mad
And call his boss a jerk?
I know, I might be way off base.
Perhaps within that stare
Were thoughts of all the happy things
She couldn’t wait to share.
Hiding my face at the gate
I wait
for something to pull me
from the inertia
of my fear.
Until it builds to breaking
through
and off I run
to join the fray
on this, my first day.
Sixty years past
I still remember
the wonder of pre-school
at our neighbor’s home
right beside the lake.
And so I think
you too will remember this
as the first thing
you really had
of your own.
(for Tyrome - 9/5/23)
The old stained coffee cup mocks me
It is old enough to protest
But fortunately
Cannot shout
Nor hold a placard.
We’ve been together
Through several generations
Of offspring
Thus, the PAPA
On its face.
We share many secrets
And as with my dogs
I know the cup can be trusted
The one who presented it to me
Has graduated from college
The one who now points to it
And says: “PAPA”
Is not yet in pre-school.
Thus, do I sit
Gazing into an empty cup
Overflowing
With memories.
Ignoring those slaughters,
as if there were none.
But one of your daughters
Were always son.
Simce pre-school,
hating all girl toys,
Even though he acted like a fool,
Always was one of the boys.
Confused child,
With mess in his head.
Worthless maybe kinda wild,
Fantasising about his death.
How lovely, I want to find peace.
Honestly I don't think I can.
I wish seken would not call me "miss"
I wish I could be 'real man'
Nothing. Just ignorance.
Humanity is organisation filled with idiots.
Cause they don't let me finish one sentence.
They ask questions, but in the end they write dots.
I'm tired. I want to cry.
Im not sane, can't see no consequence.
I think would kill myself, and die.
I think I would, if I had a chance.
I would drown myself down the river,
I would feel the cold water, as it soaks my clothes.
I would feel comfortable, I wouldn't shiver,
My hair would feel easy as it floats.
What? No I'm not writing about my own suicide.
It feels like speaking to the deaf people, that are dead.
So please, step aside,
And forget everything I said.
And thus it was
And then it wasn’t
He was my brother
Now he’s my cousin
Uncle Tom’s in bed with mom
They took my binky
But left my thumb
I’ve a cat that barks
a dog that purrs
a towel rack
With HERS and HERS
Mealtime is a freakin’ panic
One is Vegan but not organic
I’m growin’ teeth
And gettin’ tall
I’ve planned my escape
For early fall
I hope they know it’s for the best
I passed my pre-school entry test
John G. Lawless
©2/3/2023
The poems I never wrote are
all here on my page on this site
I mean it
I plagiarised every one of them
from some wannabe poet
that got expelled back in pre school
I’ve an excellent memory
and am a recalcitrant liar
But now I’m coming clean
No time for homework
I just wanted to play
Teacher beat me badly
for wasting my life away
I enjoyed my childhood
those were the days
Still to win this contest
a backhander I will pay
Poem below is my own
so now I’ll have my say
Ba Ba black sheep
have hue - buckled my shoe
Three four -the cow jumped-
everywhere a moo moo!
The end
The Poems I Never Wrote Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Craig Cornish
Hue gave this an N/A
I got six endearments in life as far as I could recall
From my pre-school to a working staff of a school
My uncles and aunts called me Darling in Kinder
An apple of their eyes especially to my father
My father gave me a small gold ring engraved, Darling
I won family’s attention by declamation, dancing or singing
When I was in grade school I was very sickly
Despite frailness and vulnerability, I was still happy
For speed recoveries my mom called me, Sunshine
For I was born at sunrise, then finally I felt fine
In high school, I was slim but still looking cute
Some cousins called me Thumbelina - still soothe
Cousin-boys carried all my stuffs while holding my hand
“Let’s go Thumbel!”-caring gestures made me feel grand
When I’ve grown older and found someone
He called me, Sweetheart or Love -- so sweet and fun
I turned into a busy beaver losing time with my love
He surprised me with “Muffin”, so I quitted the job
April 24, 2022 8.36am
There was a day my life changed
when I was adopted at 6 weeks of age
what if that hadn't happened? left myself!
where I'd be today? maybe on my last page
But in God's providence never left alone
placing me in a family where I receive care
throughout life felt God's touch many a time
no matter how hard, never said it's not fair
After birth, move into kid's home
left to wonder about life's future
but no memory of my infant thoughts
or days ahead, I may have to endure
Six long weeks it probably felt
till adopted parents came my way
then papers signed so all's legal
moving out to country was I to stay
My dad worked on a farm nearby
while mother kept the house in check
so grateful to live out in fresh air
for pre-school days were my top deck
(Just thinking about my early pre-school days getting adopted and events around these early events in my life. )
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