Her human condition, still stuck in addiction, being spoon-fed the traumas that led to the murder of her best friend,
wounds that left scars, leaving more than just their mark.
An emptiness that grows, a deep yearning in her heart...
I'm bringing this all to my Father in Heaven to stop this tearing in my heart. Please feel my words, hear my hurt.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Every day I wake up,
And every day I remember
The way you left me with no warning
Fleeing like a dog off its leash
It was my 13th birthday
I suppose that’s when fear settled in,
abandonment followed
Filling every pore of my body
Though this wasn’t the first time,
Definitely wouldn’t be the last
I only wish I knew,
What made you leave?
Was it me?
Was it because you thought I was better off without you?
Because I wasn’t
I wanted my father to love me, to see me, to hold me
But all I got was your absence
So, I let my imagination fill your role, because what else was I supposed to do?
It worked for a while, until I grew tired
I guess you did too
Now, I know why you didn’t look back
Or try to say goodbye
Gone in a flash
Three painful memories caused by no bodies.
1. Loss of friendship with many broken promises.
2. Disappointed with negative and harsh language.
3. Loved someone with heart of stone.
I shall move on to live my life.
I should pay more attention,
When you mentioned in the messages
"I break off relatsionships quickly,
I break them easily
and I usually make no effort to keep friendships"
Why bothered to make it then break it.
Why started nicelt it then ended it painfully.
Did you really felt nothing in our relationship.
To me, it was brief but sweet.
I might as well forget all about it.
As I told you before, we loved you,
We loathe you and we will forget about you.
I was certain, there was no fault on my part.
It was you who had no heart.
I remember those days spent with you
Days I walked and talked with you
Even a gentle touch of yours
Meant to me so much.
I remember those days of chats,
Sometimes funny, kind and wise
Everything you did for me,
Today filled my eyes.
I remember those moments
That we shared together,
It's really hard to believe
We are no more with each other
For now, you have gone forever
There’s one thing that stays in my heart,
The painful memories
That will never depart.
Peeping
through the blinds
into the cold
winter morn,
smut hue foliage
hung like strange fruits
from an enigmatic shrub—
igniting a brain freeze
flask back of ourstory—
sometimes, symbolic images
bring memories of history
that can be cold and painful.
Crushed coquina’s pains, salty air consoled.
Mistrusting soul, my heart could not appease.
We met when life was brimming and potholed.
My spoken words were long lost memories.
Relentlessly the past remained in view.
Romantic strolls along the shore soon died.
Again and again past pain stole love’s venue.
Good-naturedly, he listened; my soul cried.
A blemished past, his words could always soothe.
Tomorrows were awakened by his light.
He listened and life’s bumps seemed to grow smooth.
My rambling thoughts soon changed crimson to white.
We walked on crushed coquina’s endless strolls.
The salty air breathed love into our souls.
By Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
2/14/2017
Written for the Contest: Gems for your Baggage.
All his memories of her, are sealed inside a box,
Since the day she broke his heart, his hopes dashed upon the rocks.
He built a wall around his heart, with a solid iron door,
He locked up and threw away the key, now he's washed up on the shore.
She tore his world apart, threw his spirit to the ground,
His heart barely beats; it certainly doesn't pound.
He stares at the ceiling, all he feels is pain,
He knows that when he sleeps, he'll see her face again.
His days are filled with loneliness, his nights, with despair,
He knows he shouldn't feel like this, but he doesn’t care.
His life is dull, now that she's gone,
Maybe one day he will find again, happiness, that's second to none.
I scan the movement of the people
Ragged faces torn and wandering;
Pale their bodies, unlike the human race
And children in slum areas,
Begging for a crumb to eat
While mothers hold their thin babies
As they're dying in the street.
The coldness of the city brings painful memories--
Churches fallen, scattered stones
Drop from the blackened wind
And my forlorn figure stands alone.
Contest: Fill In The ---- Memory, Memories
For Poet Destroyer A 19th May 2016
Remembering what I saw
Is this memory for real
Am I torturing myself for nothing
Will this last
Should I worry
It happened in the past
Thinking about what's in this life
Does it even matter how I feel
I'm just a man left alone
Surrounded by his own misery
Most people have turned on me
I did not realize
This is it how I chose to be
Not how I wanted to make it
Never considering why
I didn't think about what I had
What I feel seems so fake
Today I'll just hide the pain
All I can do is try to visualize
What my mind cannot see
It took my youth from me
Still thinking to this day
Of a terrible memory
When I almost died
I looked for a new life
Left those who wanted to stay
I pushed true love away
No one knew when I cried
My soul to filled with false pride
For these mistakes
I would be forced to pay
With my own sanity
The benefits that came so fast
They were not enough
Because now I see
They would not last
I am to blame
I should not have left
Love only comes once
It will never be the same
I can not relive my life
I can not reclaim the past
Now I must set myself free
At last my future may belong to me
Painful Memories
I awake and find it quiet and still
With Morning so far away
My mind starts drifting in and out
To the past and to present day
Shadows can’t dance in the night
But they can invade my mind
I can see them from past to now
As they parade without measured time
I have seen them as they flickered
Here and there in my soul
Bringing back painful memories
That forgetting was my only goal.
I guess I will never forget
The painful memories that reside
In my heart and in my soul
They are the measure of pain I abide.
The pain has helped strengthened me
Against the pitfalls of my life
And even brought some happiness
As I became a good man’s wife
Sometimes late at night
When morning is far away
Gather your memories close…
Give them a special place to stay
Connie Moore
I lock my feelings away
It will all be okay
It’s all inside
But starting to show
Everything that
I was suppose to let go
My veins are bleeding
My eyes are tearing
It’s all coming out
And everyone will know
All the secrets
That weren’t meant to be told
I don’t belong to me
I don’t have my keys
I grew up to fast
And have nothing to believe
I don’t know what I want
Or even what I need
Please don’t ask to help
Because with myself I have to cope
Maybe its wrong
And its damn sure not fair
That I was given this life
To forever to bear
I live it alone
And in silence I belong
I can’t find peace
And there is no hope
My feelings stay
After all the stories I wrote
The blood is pouring
And the tears are flowing
It’s all out
All the hurt and pain
But still again its here
And I know it will stay
So I’ll go in silent sleep
To let go of painful memories
Wondering thoughts open portals for displaced memories.
Words cruised that boulevard carved in September’s wind,
and squeezed tears from dazzling eyes.
sensitivity will never know another heart’s displeasure,
unless tongue pluck them from mind’s controlling grip.
Laughter, unconsciously, taunts a troubled heart,
and grimace disguised in smile’s fine garb.
September’s wind blow cool on the Ohio Valley,
and trees shed leaves like sad eyes secreting tears, alone in a Garfield Suite.
The morn signifies my final day of torture,
then in time’s care this deep wound will heal.
Sometimes it’s hard meeting old friends.
I remember back when I was young
The way that I was raised
Too little I accomplished
Too little I was praised
Stepping stones and hinderences
Were things I grew to know
Survival was the game to play
When loneliness took hold
Unsure of which direction
To travel upon the road
I reverted back to momma
But her laden became my load
Mentally I've been challenged
Emotionally I've been drained
Physically withdrawn
To knowing only pain
When will I be set free
To live a life of love
When will I be given
What I'm deserving of
You watch the tears fall from my eyes-
in yet, you don't take notice.
You watch me scream for him-
but you still don't take notice.
You slap me in my face,
as you tell me to shut up,
and you flaunt the desperation in you voice
while hearing my cries-
all because of the choice you made.
I was just a little girl- not old enough to understand...
How could you deal with this the way you did, instead of lending a hand?
Each memory still painful,
each bruise and scar is reminiscing with regret,
of all the things you had taught me,
you had not taught me to forget...
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