Painful Memories

Remembering what I saw Is this memory for real Am I torturing myself for nothing Will this last Should I worry It happened in the past Thinking about what's in this life Does it even matter how I feel I'm just a man left alone Surrounded by his own misery Most people have turned on me I did not realize This is it how I chose to be Not how I wanted to make it Never considering why I didn't think about what I had What I feel seems so fake Today I'll just hide the pain All I can do is try to visualize What my mind cannot see It took my youth from me Still thinking to this day Of a terrible memory When I almost died I looked for a new life Left those who wanted to stay I pushed true love away No one knew when I cried My soul to filled with false pride For these mistakes I would be forced to pay With my own sanity The benefits that came so fast They were not enough Because now I see They would not last I am to blame I should not have left Love only comes once It will never be the same I can not relive my life I can not reclaim the past Now I must set myself free At last my future may belong to me