Couch
uptight, stiff
off-putting, stalling, feigning
Safety, Truth, Privacy, Home
welcoming, soothing, revealing
velvety, relaxed
Sofa
I heard that he was cast out of Halloween City
For he was frightening children, and not very witty
He tried to be a comedian but that did not work at all
We did not see him again until the very next fall
Was it his costume, his attitude or what? We will never know
But he was off-putting, unfriendly, and had a weird glow.
We stayed away from him, crossed the street when we saw him arrive.
I remember this well said my uncle, and I was a wee lad of five.
New buzz word, peculanality.
If you understand it maybe you met me
in this life or a previous one.
A world of peculanality,
to some refreshing to others off-putting,
either way always memorable.
With that frank peculanality
you can’t predict what will pass these lips.
Rest assured it will be full blown sincere.
Made up with peculanality.
Whatever is done? Others duplitry it.
Don’t make me explain that word either.
Embrace the peculanality,
the oddball that’s only discovered once.
A cold chill that’s felt long after it flies.
Peculanity is a force that bellows
‘To hell with duplitry.
Birr your way, blot the path as you go.’
Believing in you is
Being just you, the simplicity of you
Embracing each twist and turn
Stepping outside the confines of your mind
Revealing truths and bringing clarity in chaos
Engaging in the art of the here and now
Changing dark unnecessary innateness
Diving into each brushstroke, swaths of colorways
Letting the moment paint a masterpiece uniquely yours
Freeing up the shackles of the mind
Feeling compassion of heart and soul
Taking a voyage to the center of universal reality~
Shedding many prejudices indelibly embedded in thought
Unmasking anxieties that do not change the world,
serving only to distract causing mental coil
Trusting your instincts is your compass
Off putting, although valuable truth may be
a diamond amidst pebbles
Experiencing every morsel of life’s banquette
japanese chickens
produce for bright orange egg yolks
carotene diet
off putting maybe
salmonella neutralized
safe and edible
To those who loved me,
Goodbye.
Let the rain wash away the residue of me,
When you think of all the things I did for you-
Don’t be sorry that you sucked me dry.
Let the wind blow away my memory,
When you turn to ask for an outrageous favor-
I’ll be off putting the pieces of myself back together.
Let go of the ghost you thought you knew me as,
When your cup is empty and dry you’ll have to find someone else-
Someone else to give you life and love and passion.
Let yourself heal and not from anything I ever did to you,
When you cry those over played tears they will echo-
Off the walls of the empty house instead of inside my brain.
Let yourself contort me into any villainous shape you wish,
When peace finds me someday it won’t matter-
I am determined to decrown your opinions.
To those who loved me,
Goodbye.
Always beware of the termite
Wise homeowners constantly fight
Incredibly destructive foe,
Exterminators surely know
A buyer’s most off-putting sight.
Termites have no respect, you see
For you or your prized property,
They will devour your precious floor
Then look around for something more
You must show them no sympathy!
Written September 25, 2022
Fancy pink flamingo did not think she was the best.
She tried to hide it with patterns and prints above the rest.
Her braggadocio ways were off-putting, but she did not know
How to be her happiest, or that she had far to go.
She covered her insecurities with a glittery feathered boa.
Her mother said “That’s enough! You are being quite a show-ah!”
She acted like a diva, but it was because she felt like she was less.
A really good friend showed her she was great; her name was Tess.
Her open-mouthed smile was a sight to see.
That she had almost no teeth was not off-putting to me.
Joy flooded through her face in such a wholesome way.
This elderly woman’s happiness truly made my day!
Almost all of my besties were off-putting at first.
They came in loud and proud, annoying or worse,
Luckily, I am not one to hold you to a first impression.
Being totally wrong many times is my honest confession.
Joann was one of the first friends I had as an adult.
She was outrageous and disturbing, not really her fault.
I was in a bad mood, but stayed one night after school.
Discovered then by herself, she was downright dazzling cool!
I have since learned more things about strangers all over.
Finding them in staircases, and parks filled with allergy clover.
I seek strangers each day, for they have much to teach me.
Opening horizons that by myself I could never see.
Nora taught me knitting, not that I was any good.
Elise showed me how to paint acrylic flowers on wood.
Susan is the one who teaches me to appreciate every day.
My congregate of new friends make me okay.
Because Buddy is an exceptionally large dog
Weighing ninety-two pounds, measuring five feet
Not counting his tail, even though he is only two and a baby
Some delivery people are fearful when they see him.
He is a gentle giant, but his girth and height are off-putting.
If they were smart, they would be more afraid of our twelve-year-old Sophie
Our nasty, snapping, snarling, growling, grousing Cocker Spaniel.
She would take down a grizzly with her toothless mouth and in a mean way.
She is fierce, maybe because she is a female, not like the docile Buddy
The recent delivery driver was shaking in her shorts at Buddy.
He was placing strategic kisses on her when my husband pulled him off.
I was relieved, because straddling her would have been the next activity.
I have a camera on my truck she told my man. I will sue you if he bites me.
You should have bitten her leg off! I told him. I would have slapped her silly.
I would have punched her and kicked her and beaten her a new face.
No one threatens to sue my husband.
So now you see who Sophie takes after.
What is it that makes you so unpleasant
Is brusqueness and lack of tact your totem,
Or, are you eaten up with anger inside
Feel you must treat everyone like a crumb?
Why are your communication skills lacking
So that you must resort to disgusting inanities?
No wonder girlfriends have sent you packing,
Not willing to tolerate your gross profanities.
Why do you treat others with utter disdain?
Does it pleasure you to see someone weep?
Why can’t you reconsider, perhaps abstain?
You are only bearable when you’re asleep!
Someday you will need help from a friend
Someone to come to your rescue, indeed,
When you look around no one will pretend
They’re there for you in your time of need.
Uncaring, and full of venomous antagonism
The best of all words to describe you is “ugly,”
You’ve spent your whole life in hooliganism
And you are a nauseous, off-putting bully.
written January 24, 2022
Narcissistic boors can be so off-putting
Always eagerly saying, "Look at me!
I am the smartest, best-looking specimen
On the entire planet, you can plainly see.
I am the strongest, most talented person
I will be the first, and I'll let you know it.
And only those people who understand
Can wallow with me in my bullsh**t.
I welcome them into my private community
Where we will become the best of friends,
Should they have an opinion or question me
That's where our coveted friendship ends."
Once in the spotlight they can't get enough
They will lie, cheat, and steal to keep it,
But as time goes by their antics grow thin
Their disappearance doesn't upset me a bit.
written September 12, 2021
Pluto, the forgotten planet
Mars is a stony planet, too big for its own good
those who go there have to live indoors as it has no air to breath
life for the brave must be tedious looking a reddish stones
and the occasionally a yellow dust storm is living up.
One by one the will commit suicide venturing out and explode.
Pluto, on the other hand, is a small planet and it has green vegetation.
A place to grow potatoes and cabbage
it has fruit too not like
here on earth but nevertheless they are tasty
except for the blue lemon that is poisonous
The fauna is full of odd-looking animals that are so friendly
no one wants to kill them becoming vegetarians instead.
Take the enormous flightless fowl they lay eggs that can serve a battalion for breakfast. There is no tobacco
on the planet, but it has big leaves which
when rolled together makes people happy and laughing, on earth
we call it marijuana an odd name for a delicate plant.
There is no snow on Pluto, no clouds but the sun can be a little off-putting as it is smoky brow.
So why is no one going there, say, on holiday for later to live
there permanently, but forget your snowboard and skis.
the mothers against
the Man’s men
putting
perspective
in humanity again
***
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