I am not who I was when my life exploded
I have changed in order to survive
Hope is the glue that is holding
my life fragments together these days
while the pieces do not fit together in
the same way, I have become a living mosaic
Blown glass heart slowly expanding.
With every breath they choose to lend you.
Pouring their heaviest selves into you.
You're quickly contracting while they're resting.
Shaping you into a vessel of misuse.
Blown glass heart cooling and cracking.
Timeless masterpiece shattering.
The fillers spilling out, red-faced and laughing.
No blowers left to be found
no lenders of breaths
no fillers of vessels
no more compounding interest
no angel to sweep you from the abyss.
The heart is still there, though in mosaic.
Your beauty was never in how they seesawed you
but how you see, saw you.
Life's beating mosaic in cornflower blue.
when I was younger, my mom read me books to sleep. I saw myself in characters, the smart girls, the strong ones. I liked that feeling, relating to characters, so, I started collecting them like peices of a mosaic. as I grew up I changed, and my favourite characters with me. as I changed from a girl to a boy, so did my favourite characters. one's trans, another one is socially awkward, another alone, another an outcast from everywhere he goes, another needs to be perfect, and another is sensitive. They all have one thing in common, their ending is never good. their story ends with them dead, or without love, or sad.
Melodic phrases melting from mouth
Onyx deeds prophesied with pearls
Song like psalms with messages shout
A great prophet to enlighten the world
Indigo sky to be revealed to the blind
Christ to come and save man kind
the fierce facade is false mosaic
pinions holding candy ginger
I am a mosaic today
made up of sharp glassy shards
feeling sticky and prickly
pushing people away
if my trail goes cold
and no one can follow
I can reglue myself
Walking slowly in utter dark wholly stripped and laid bare
Tears running down my face and a tightening in the air
Heart screaming a deafening silent desperate prayer
Carrying the broken pieces of a life full of ware
Abruptly piercing the sea of black was a beam of light
Silhouetting a tall bearded man who was twice my height
Piercing flame-filled yet loving tender eyes burning so bright
The Son of God had appeared before me all dressed in white
Laying the pieces at his feet eyes swelling turning pink
Barely uttering "I'm broken" as I felt my soul shrink
Chuckling the Son of God grabbed all the fragments with a wink
Little one you are not broken this is not what you think
Purposely placing pieces on the floor with flair and glee
Forming a vibrant mosaic of color and of me
Completing his masterpiece he motioned to come and see
With a loving embrace he whispered "Nothing but beauty!"
I am a mural
of seasons patched in nectar
slowly—bit by bit I falter
Tinkling tinkle—
bicycle bell
bashes my pieces back to
where they belong; Where
they were sort of a whole. At least
I remember them making the decision
that we hate tomatoes
as a collective.
And they ride
on one bike, towards
nowhere specific—
—tinkling, tinkling
Now the shred of rainbows despise
the fragments that watch yellow leaves die;
Flakes of white scoff in frost
when they hear laughter from chips of sun
—No one is right yet
nothing can be wrong
Binded with
what I had, I am—or I was—
no, I am
a Cubist mosaic
in the sky
a sharp picture forms
clarity
of shadow
omnipotent silhouette
just as suddenly
observe the single
uniqueness of its essence
solitaire
stars align
prodigious melding
of the One
I have written for some time now and pause,
the quill in my hand rests from wear and tear;
The realization strikes me in my mind,
my mentor used to hold his quill the same;
In morning walks I wave my hand to greet,
the stranger smiles and I remember how,
my Brother used to wave his hand the same;
The time I contemplate, I bite my lip,
my heart shows me a vison and an ache,
my Love bit them the same, what I recall;
The gust of wind, it ruffles my long curls,
and I push back the hair, like Mother mine;
I stargaze, longing my eyes bear, like him,
oh how my Father gazed at them the same;
and then come now to terms with fact I do,
that truly, me for one - a Mosaic whole,
of all I have even been in with or love.
Holding myself not to fall apart,
I’m chauffeured by Dawn’s cart,
Each day with its fight,
It’s a tenacious walk into light.
A mysterious hand strives to reach for me,
I sail on a turbulent sea,
It’s a world in the dark,
I search for an escape footmark.
I have gone miles on this way,
Hope is an essential ray,
I look deep into my mind,
Searching for answers to why I’m a different kind.
No one speaks,
Though darkness seeks,
Redemption wades,
Until gloom fades.
May 11, 2024.
Concealed molluscs, meek individuals
Perceptive to truth, empathy prepared
Fluoresce lucid, optimism pivotal
Giving as elastic, mosaic paired
Transferred concern, coral breath resplendence
Secrets swapped free of harm, their hearts hallowed
Precious shells combine in fresh resemblance
Fitting finality, fearless, exposed
Chrysalis moths makeshift shelter is shed
Protective floss fractures, folds out clover
Flutter dust fluff to fantastical wed
Glee gushes as freedom speeds them over
Stream nods softly toward sea expansion
Together tonic in strong salt sanctum
28th February
For First of March
Wedding
If I ever found myself in a room full of people I've loved
You'd be there twice
Because in every person I've loved after you
I've tried to find a piece of you
If you mix together all the colors in the world you get black
And if I mix everyone I've loved, I get a mosaic of you.
rainbow painted soul
green esteem spirit of gold
bold soulful halo
Shards of glass all around
Broken gems, sharp and profound
Picked, glued and retained
Artwork, colourful and framed
Life is a mosaic of broken glass
Memories retained, glued, amassed
Your gems are unique, profound and glued
Colourful, beautiful and viewed
Mosaics will look different each day
Sometimes bright, sometimes grey
Life is about glueing your broken gems
A journey of applying colour your way
Eric
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