contest : Alpha Rhymes
sponsor : Joseph May
3.9.25
PLACED 3RD : Standard Contest
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APPLE BLOSSOMS CAUGHT DREAMY EYES
fairy farm was ablaze with fruity trees
gentle breezes swayed laden branches
canaries sang, cows mooed, all at ease
FIGS, GRAPES, HACKBERRY, IMBE, JACKFRUIT
with Turkish splash pool glimmering awaited
tiny tier temple newly whitewashed invited
brass buddha bell and rose garden gated
KITES LAY MOTIONLESS NOTICEABLY OBVERT
which leisure activity would we choose
as fruity farm holiday commenced covert
like in paradise peacock strutted with goose
PEACH, QUINCE, RASPBERRY, STRAWBERRY TARTS
stole our minds, stomach and hearts
this heavenly place embraced tired souls
stress dissolved in nature’s eloquent role
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Rose Garden was devoured by a cow that thought it was a bull.
The farmer and his wife pleaded with the cow to go back to the field.
But it refused by stomping and grunting.
Now what remains is a baren field, and a broken fence.
With not much to eat in the garden but rose thorns, the cull cried of stomach pains.
Throughout the day and night she mooed as if to blame the world for its life.
In time, not even the steer expressed an interest in his mother, as his future was cut short.
With no calves in the field, the bull left for the furthest sections of the property.
And with no place to escape, and no cows and rose gardens to be found, he simply laid down, and died.
by, Martin Braun
12/21/24
Hillbillies got a dairy cow and trained it up right
It mooed and bellowed all through the first night
Drank some moonshine and did a crazy petootsie dance.
So silly and funny, the fireflies flitted and flew as if in a trance.
Did anyone see millions of rainbows fill up the skies?
Did anyone see the heavens bloom and a child appear?
Flying, floating, and fluttering to a numb-filled surprise
Rested between Joseph and Mary, filled with divine cheer
The racks where they dwelt, as there's no place in the human hearts
Mystic music concerts were heard like thunder and earthquakes.
Cows, bulls, and sheep stood as though forgetting their breathing arts.
The Almighty's graces seemed to surround them like ice flakes.
Those who were sleeping were dreaming of the birth of a saviour.
Though they felt a thud, they did not feel the need to be awake.
And, hence, on that blessed night, they could not find God's favour.
The shepherds hurried to meet him, who came down for their sake.
Cows mooed and goats bleated the Gloria of the angels.
Eyes open, Jesus slept amidst changes that seemed changeless
Old MacDonald had a farm
With some noisy critters on it.
They mostly mooed, or neighed,
Or clucked, or brayed,
But some stayed
Resolutely mute,
I'm afraid.
It wasn't his equines,
Or bovines,
Or fowls,
Or anything lodged in his barns or corrals,
But a couple of rather recalcitrant vowels.
The "e" and the "i" and the "o"
Answered the call,
While the "a" and the "u"
Stayed conspicuously AWOL.
I once sported a manly beard,
a beastly beard had I.
But then on the farm, at the crack of dawn,
while my lady cheered,
she chopped it off, and while the cows mockingly mooed,
I quietly cried.
And with that, a little something inside of me died.
I would venture to guess it was my manly pride.
She brushed and whispered into my tickled ear
"Brian, how I pined for your lovely face,
and your youthful countenance.
You don't need a mane to rival a lion in ferocity
-you're sensitive and wise,
I can see it in your eyes,
and your words they always seem to make sense."
Who was I to debate with her?
Her words would lose weight
if I failed to concur.
there once was an old farmer named Dick
he injected his cows that were sick
Bessie mooed “oh no!”
as Dick slipped in a hole
“Don’t you bellow, it’s just a little prick”
You were so handsome
that the low ceiling of the sky
it rose only to lighten
the world for you...
The cows mooed sweet chants
to show off your friends...t
The birds in the trees
performed the most beautiful chirps
in your honor...
The street dogs barked
in unison happiness
when they saw saw you
and swayed
the tails with
refined technique...
All because you were wonderful...
I also included myself that all
I offered it to you...
perform in my mind
extraordinary feats
in worship to you...
All because I thought that
you were mine... but you weren't... !
Today far away where are you?
castled, I know that still
your beauty makes that
everything be as before...
But not for me... because I know
that you are not mine!
Have you ever bitten into a steak that mooed?
Maybe because it has not yet been chewed?
Did it have a brand? Had it been ranch-tattooed?
Was it still bleeding? Did eating it seem lewd?
Did you envision it as a calf that once cooed?
I apologize if that sounded a little bit rude.
A calf whose little hoof was once super glued?
Have you ever bitten into a raw steak that mooed?
The horse pranced
The penguin danced
The Nightingales sang in tune
The dog barked
In the dark
The cow mooed at the moon
The pelican swallowed
The fish hollered
The owl said twit to woo
Two squirrels stood
In the wood
They did not know what to do
The Sun rose
From its repose
To start a brand new day
The animals crept
From whence they slept
As they all come out to play
The day my life went so crazy
Was when I laid eyes on Daisy
She was an old sow
Who mooed like a cow
And drove all farmhands crazy
We tried to put her in a field
But sadly that pig wouldn’t yield
She’d sit down in her sty
And she wouldn’t comply
Her stubbornness would be revealed
I said Daisy you will come a cropper
The farmer will get you with a chopper
Daisy sat and chewed grass
And got mud on her a s s
Soon Daisy became quite a whopper
Old farmer Bill sharpened his knife
And showed the honed blade to his wife
He said it is time now
I must kill a fat sow
His poor wife just ran for her life!
The farmer went out to the shed
When Daisy saw him how just fled
She hid behind a bull
To escape a quick cull
I’m relieved there was no bloodshed!
N/A in The Day My Life Went Whacko Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Caren Krutsinger
03/28/30
The First Christmas
by Michael R. Burch
’Twas in a land so long ago ...
the lambs lay blanketed in snow
and little children everywhere
sat and watched warm embers glow
and dreamed (of what, we do not know).
And THEN—a star appeared on high,
The brightest man had ever seen!
It made the children whisper low
in puzzled awe: What did it mean?
It made the wooly lambkins cry.
Not far away a new-born lay,
warm-blanketed in straw and hay,
a lowly manger for his crib.
The cattle mooed, distraught and low,
to see the child. They did not know
it now was Christmas day!
This is a poem in which I tried to capture the mystery and magic of the first Christmas day. If you like my poem, you are welcome to share it, but please cite me as the author, which you can do by including the title and subheading.
Bessie the Cow was feeling sick, they say
She'd swallowed something rotten in the hay
She mooed and she mooed
But it did her no good --
The chocolate milk tasted different that day
There once lived a lady in Greece
Who was always in trouble with police
Walking around nude
Like a cow, she mooed
Offering youngun's a taste of her t(r)eats
There was a fussy bovine named Flossy
who was snooty and always so bossy
her udders would droop
when she took a poop
She bellowed until her eyes got glossy
Flossy had teeth like a barracuda
Her biting habit just made her ruder
She's not very sharp
She spit when she'd harp
So I called a few friends and we shewed her
Then she threatened to have me arrested
Thought she'd beaten me and had me bested
Knocked her on her duff
She wasn't so tough
Alas, she kept right on and protested
I saw her on the street the other day
Her monstrous butt sat on a bale of hay
Stuck her tongue at me
Mooed, "Hello, ducky"
She trotted off when I aimed pepper spray
What a chunky hippo she has become
I think Flossy secretly sucks her thumb
Waddles when walking
Ranting and squawking
To senility, Flossy has succumb
Bovine creatures can be quite abusive
When they should be a closet reclusive
The more that they speak
The more that they reek
My findings are all justly conclusive
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