Best Mooed Poems
There was a fussy bovine named Flossy
who was snooty and always so bossy
her udders would droop
when she took a poop
She bellowed until her eyes got glossy
Flossy had teeth like a barracuda
Her biting habit just made her ruder
She's not very sharp
She spit when she'd harp
So I called a few friends and we shewed her
Then she threatened to have me arrested
Thought she'd beaten me and had me bested
Knocked her on her duff
She wasn't so tough
Alas, she kept right on and protested
I saw her on the street the other day
Her monstrous butt sat on a bale of hay
Stuck her tongue at me
Mooed, "Hello, ducky"
She trotted off when I aimed pepper spray
What a chunky hippo she has become
I think Flossy secretly sucks her thumb
Waddles when walking
Ranting and squawking
To senility, Flossy has succumb
Bovine creatures can be quite abusive
When they should be a closet reclusive
The more that they speak
The more that they reek
My findings are all justly conclusive
Categories:
mooed, introspection,
Form:
Limerick
The day my life went so crazy
Was when I laid eyes on Daisy
She was an old sow
Who mooed like a cow
And drove all farmhands crazy
We tried to put her in a field
But sadly that pig wouldn’t yield
She’d sit down in her sty
And she wouldn’t comply
Her stubbornness would be revealed
I said Daisy you will come a cropper
The farmer will get you with a chopper
Daisy sat and chewed grass
And got mud on her a s s
Soon Daisy became quite a whopper
Old farmer Bill sharpened his knife
And showed the honed blade to his wife
He said it is time now
I must kill a fat sow
His poor wife just ran for her life!
The farmer went out to the shed
When Daisy saw him how just fled
She hid behind a bull
To escape a quick cull
I’m relieved there was no bloodshed!
N/A in The Day My Life Went Whacko Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Caren Krutsinger
03/28/30
Categories:
mooed, animal, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
The horse pranced
The penguin danced
The Nightingales sang in tune
The dog barked
In the dark
The cow mooed at the moon
The pelican swallowed
The fish hollered
The owl said twit to woo
Two squirrels stood
In the wood
They did not know what to do
The Sun rose
From its repose
To start a brand new day
The animals crept
From whence they slept
As they all come out to play
Categories:
mooed, 10th grade, 2nd grade,
Form:
Rhyme
Daisy was a bossy cow
How she loved to rule the herd
The other cows detested her
Yet they dared not moo a word
Daisy would moo and moo all day
Whilst the other cows chewed the cud
She gave her loud opinions
Whilst the other cows landed the stud
One day Daisy met up with the local bull
He really was a handsome chap
She fluttered her eyelashes for she was on the pull
But her bossy ways were a handicap
The bull mated with all the other cows
Poor Daisy’s nose was put out of joint
He hated her attitude she was very rude
Yet she still tried to argue the point
The louder and louder Daisy mooed
Made the other cows back away
The bull turned on his heels and left the field
And left Daisy alone eating hay
Now Daisy was the farmer’s oldest
And as bossy as the farmers wife
He knew for the sure the old cow was the coldest
Sure they both gave him tons of strife
So when the butcher came to town
To bargain for cheap cows all around
The farmer smiled and sent them both on down
Let the poor butcher figure which old cow to drown!
My 900th poem I wanted it to be a fun write
100 in a row #9 Sponsored by PD Linda
12~19~15
Categories:
mooed, fantasy, farm, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
We bought a cow at the state fair
and loaded her on the truck
to take her home, but halfway there
we had a stroke of good luck.
We hit a rock, and from the crash
she bounced away down the hill,
she mooed and made an awful splash
in the stream beside the mill.
The water was still awful cold,
the cow already freezing…
resisting as we roped and pulled
her breathing turned to sneezing.
My father said this won’t end well,
he couldn’t have been more wrong.
He thought the cow, we ought to sell
but changed his mind before long.
We took her home, our shook up cow,
unloaded her in the barn.
We thought we’d let her sleep for now
then see to her in the morn’.
The next day, just around sunrise,
the cow already awake.
I milked, and to my great surprise,
I got a frozen milkshake!
05/02/15
Categories:
mooed, animal, farm, fun, funny,
Form:
Quatrain
Domestic Animals
Cows in the barn was glad to see me at six in the morning
They mooed and waited for me to milk them.
Six cows to milk, yes I know it was a small farm and also
So very long time ago, yet clear as yesterday.
There was in the barn also a pig sty, a stable for the horse
Calves in a pen and they all wanted my attention.
Domestic animals are easy to please, just feed them keep
Their winter quarters clean and speak softly.
Domestic animals are so totally I our power without us
They would not exist in the form they are today.
In a compound a flock of sheep make themselves heard
They are hardy and want to get out snow or not.
So they are our responsibility and we must respect and
Love them, even if, at the end, we eat them.
Categories:
mooed, animal, love,
Form:
Pastoral
There once lived a lady in Greece
Who was always in trouble with police
Walking around nude
Like a cow she mooed
Offering young Greeks a taste of her t(r)eats
© Jack Ellison 2015
Categories:
mooed, humor,
Form:
Limerick
The farm was nestled deep in the country,
down a dusty road was a lovely house and barn;
where horses ran and jumped in a meadow beyond,
and fat cows mooed and chickens clucked, and
a rooster welcomed each dawn and strutted proudly.
Farmer Hector Cuckleburr, Hec for short and his,
wife Josephine Cuckleburr had many other animals;
oh yes many, like pigs and sheep, and babies too
and the delight at having lots of jumping baby lambs
which brings me to a little dog called, Smidget Puggily.
Smidget Puggily was the smallest of the Pugs born,
and the other Pugs pushed her away at play;
squeaking you are too small, Smidget Puggily, go away,
so she did, wandering the barn yard she saw something,
that bleated and stretched from a curled up sleep.
Hello, said Smidget Puggily, gosh you are pretty,
thanks, was the reply, and I am smart too, a leader;
I could teach you things, be your guru, your teacher,
your guide around this farm, see how high I can jump,
and with that, she jumped in the air and bleated loud.
I will name you Prettisome Guru, and I am your student,
show me how to jump, soon Smidget Puggily was jumping;
lets play follow the leader said Prettisome Guru, just follow,
Smidget Puggily, listen to me, I have excellent vision, hearing,
and smell, but best of all I like to cuddle up and get touchy.
Well, from that day forward those two walked the farm yard,
with the Smidget Puggily following her Prettisome Guru faithfully;
farmer Hec and his wife Josephine would stop and laugh,
when they found those two curled up asleep, all cuddled up,
and that was often- those two slept most of the day actually.
_________________________________
March 1, 2019
Poetry/Narrative/The Smidget Puggily and her Prettisome Guru
Copyright Protected, ID 19-1119-309-02
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Written for the contest, The Smidget Puggily and Her Prettisome Guru
sponsor, Caren Krutsinger
Second Place
Categories:
mooed, animal, child, poems,
Form:
Narrative
My Grandmother's House!
That country-styled house of yesteryear has gone so fast now a sweet memory of times gone away from me, You could smell the breeze pushing and blowing a fragrance in the air. This story is told where memory has been and will be again to unfold!
The lace curtains white and brown twirled with a sash
In the wooden country house of old oh and that wooden firewood stove. Yes! Still, remember the delicious smell flowing in the air
A burning memory of mine, so old! and rare!
Its a memory of a time gone by and the taste of
Grandmother's juicy Blueberry pie and her SweetP Potato pies
I was there! Waiting!!
Step by step in and out of the house pacing back and forth!
Walking by the wood stove waiting
As I wanted a taste of that blueberry pie! Smelling this tantalizing scent the potato pie glazed my eyes too and moist my tongue I had to wait so my mind was made up because the eyes knew and saw
which I would taste first but at that time I was looking and staring at the empty plate also the wind seems to blow this fragrance out the window a drift
down the road down the street across the path back inside again! However when I looked toward the barn, the cows mooed and the trees gave a breeze blowing sweetly it felt like the joy of pure delight and me, and my mouth held on tight to the scent felt like it had crossed the sea then back to me , it was there everywhere Just thinking as am walking down the street thinking about Oh yes my grandmother, the wood stove of old burned like no other high cooking fire in grandmother's house! I was there!
Excuse me Miz this is
McDonald, may I take your order Please? Yes! just
thinking!
Categories:
mooed, appreciation, care, dedication, endurance,
Form:
Narrative
There once was an old cow in her stall
She was looked at by one and all
She was ugly and fat
That crazy old bat
I'm talking bout' my mother-in-law
Categories:
mooed, funnyold, old,
Form:
Limerick
Oh, we need honey?
And milk?
And cheese?
Well, I will get them
If you please.
I am now leaving.
My friend
Is now talking.
I take a detour
As we are out walking.
Soon, we are lost
In the jungle
And squelching
Through the wet bog.
I think I hear belching.
We are face to face
With a creature.
A snake!
I wish for my home
And berry shortcake.
We are now running
For our dear lives.
I think what I see
Is a tree of beehives.
Our fate is uncertain
As we run toward the tree.
My friend can keep going.
But I fall. Oh, my knee!
Just as I think
It is time to give up
A chap comes along
With a cute little pup.
"Howdy-do," says the chap.
I look up.
What a guy!
"You see," I then say.
"I am just about fried."
I get in his wagon.
I am embarrassed to say
That I kind of like this dude.
But just then I heard a sound:
A cow mooed.
I jump off the wagon
And run toward the barn
With doors made of silk.
Then I steal from the cow
A bucket of milk.
I go to the back
And it stinks
But there's cheese!
I take all I want
If you please.
Then I look in my pocket
And there is no money
But lo and behold!
A sweet comb of honey!
I run away home
Just as fast as I can.
"I just went to market,"
I tell my mom Fran.
She looks at the bounty.
She looks kind of suspicious.
She tastes all my treasure.
She thinks it's delicious!
Categories:
mooed, adventure, food,
Form:
Rhyme
Freddie the goat was as wide as a boat
His hair was long, tangled and whiffy
He asked Maisie the cow could she help him right now
And she mooed she would in a jiffy
Joey the horse said with some force
My tail is also quite smelly
So Maisie mooed here I’ll make it real clear
I can also shave your big belly
Daisy the hen clucked from her pen
Could you take a look at my feathers?
Maisie then mooed you’re so very rude
I do all three of you nitwits together
September 6th 2016
Categories:
mooed, children, humorous,
Form:
Light Verse
Here they comes! here they comes.
every cow mooed...
The ducks and hens
leaving their drakes and cocks
came screachng to see the flock of those, the tiny little crows.
The king himself from his den,
came at the screach of the hens.
Mighty and strong stepping out between the crowd,
Proud and happy of the little feloows,
Those who shall fly over the meadows
croack! croach! came the frong, to notify those gathered.
The wind was light and the clouds were still..
Mother crocodile wept water called tears..
The pigeons and sparrows
come in pairs to see the future come closer.
The elephants stoodby in lines to trumpet for the little victory..
The cuckoo came by with a little surprise, a souvenier!
A gift from a far offtree, across whom they may fly,
pieces of pear to eat along the way..
The littles of crows,
Brought pride to their race..
By a beautiful take off..
Far far away from the sky,
the view all those down lookup to them now..
All the animals waved good bye! and split away one by one,
while among the little said, 'one day we will be the
crows with pride..and one day we will be the ones to see out littles fly..like fan's viewing the sky'.
by
Manthra
Categories:
mooed, animal, child, childhood, children,
Form:
Free verse
Broremann, the farmer worker.
Every morning at five thirty sharp, my brother Broremann
had to milk five cows by hand bring bucket full of goodness
to the scullery where maid sifted it and in a churn it went.
He had to start milking Rose first, she was the mother cow
other cows wouldn´t give milk unless he started with her.
After milking Broremann had to clean the barn five cows
make a lot of dung; he pushed it down in a hole in the wall
it was later used to fertilize the land. My brother was proud
of his ability to milk and his hands were, firm yet gentle.
There was a problem though Rose didn´t yield as much milk
as before as she was getting elderly and the farmer sold her
to the knacker’s yard. It was a sad day and the other cows
mooed woefully. The farmer bought a new cow to take Rosa´s
place, but Broremann couldn´t milk her first, as she was new-
comer, so he started with Gerda, now the oldest cow, and milk
the new one last, thus rural peace continued in the cow shed.
Categories:
mooed, dedication, funny, nature, parody,
Form:
Blank verse
there once was an old farmer named Dick
he injected his cows that were sick
Bessie mooed “oh no!”
as Dick slipped in a hole
“Don’t you bellow, it’s just a little prick”
Categories:
mooed, animal, farm, funny, sick,
Form:
Limerick