Short Mooed Poems

There once was an old cow in her stall
She was looked at by one and all
       She was ugly and fat 
        That crazy old bat
I'm talking bout' my mother-in-law...

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there once was an old farmer named Dick
he injected his cows that were sick
	Bessie mooed “oh no!”
	as Dick slipped in a hole
“Don’t you bellow, it’s just a little prick”...

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There once lived a lady in Greece
Who was always in trouble with police
Walking around nude
Like a cow, she mooed
Offering youngun's a taste of her t(r)eats...

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Bessie the Cow was feeling sick, they say
She'd swallowed something rotten in the hay
   She mooed and she mooed
   But it did her no good --
The chocolate milk tasted different that day...

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There once lived a lady in Greece
Who was always in trouble with police
Walking around nude
Like a cow she mooed
Offering young Greeks a taste of her t(r)eats


© Jack Ellison 2015...

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Hillbillies got a dairy cow and trained it up right
It mooed and bellowed all through the first night
Drank some moonshine and did a crazy petootsie dance.
So silly and funny, the fireflies flitted and flew as if in a trance....

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Have you ever bitten into a steak that mooed?
Maybe because it has not yet been chewed?
Did it have a brand? Had it been ranch-tattooed?
Was it still bleeding? Did eating it seem lewd?

Did you envision it as a calf that once cooed?
I apologize if that sounded a little bit rude. 
A calf whose little hoof was once super glued? 
Have you ever bitten into a raw steak that mooed?...

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The horse pranced
The penguin danced
The Nightingales sang in tune
The dog barked
In the dark
The cow mooed at the moon

The pelican swallowed
The fish hollered
The owl said twit to woo
Two squirrels stood
In the wood
They did not know what to do

The Sun rose
From its repose
To start a brand new day
The animals crept
From whence they slept
As they all come out to play...

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Old MacDonald had a farm
With some noisy critters on it.
They mostly mooed, or neighed,
Or clucked, or brayed,
But some stayed
Resolutely mute,
I'm afraid.
It wasn't his equines,
Or bovines,
Or fowls,
Or anything lodged in his barns or corrals,
But a couple of rather recalcitrant vowels.
The "e" and the "i" and the "o"
Answered the call,
While the "a" and the "u"
Stayed conspicuously AWOL.
...

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Freddie the goat was as wide as a boat
His hair was long, tangled and whiffy
He asked Maisie the cow could she help him right now
And she mooed she would in a jiffy

Joey the horse said with some force
My tail is also quite smelly
So Maisie mooed here I’ll make it real clear
I can also shave your big belly

Daisy the hen clucked from her pen
Could you take a look at my feathers?
Maisie then mooed you’re so very rude 
I do all three of you nitwits together

September 6th 2016...

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