The universe swallowed my thoughts
In another instant of uncertainty
Truthfulness and doubt together were something
Morphed into a new creation of nothing
As if my time itself were the black hole
And I, a dwarf star in the infinite sky
Waning in the moment’s loss of control
Where another hope was left to die.
Shapeless and unseen in darkness
Lost in the infinite, recessive light
A contorted mass of possibilities gone
Like the dim light of a rainy dawn
Ambitions and plans stricken by loss
And I, a fading star in a familiar crowd
Carrying an even more familiar cross
To be convicted of the sins I’ve avowed.
Brighter stars illuminate without me
Much like the brilliance I once exuded
A new creation of barely something I’ll be
With much less to adore in low luminosity
And as the universe recycles these thoughts
Uncertainty strangely becomes known
In all my doubts, I have become a have not
With my mistakes left with me for which to atone.
Categories:
loss of control, age, emotions, identity, self,
Form: Rhyme
What is there to hold onto if you don’t even know your Self?
There’s nothing worse than a hardened heart that yearns to crack and spill all over
Bleeding for the truth, finally breaking free
Thickened by time, grown into leather
Loss, ignorance, misdirected energy
Trapped and bound, waiting in the dark
No one goes in or out
So softly it whimpers for deliverance
Questioning whether anyone exists to hear
Yet it longs to cry harder, to yell with passion
To scream wildly with the force of true surrender
An unrelenting frenzy capable of compelling a worthy answer
The loss of control promises a sigh of relief, “Ah, so”
But resignation is a tight-fitting muzzle that stifles the sound and it chokes on the words
Despairing, it struggles to forget, knowing full well it cannot
Blessed. Cursed.
A cruel and ?beautiful game
Stuck in the in-between
Who doesn’t dream of opening up
An entire lifetime (or more) pouring out, free of the chest?
A hollow shell never so complete
Categories:
loss of control, emotions, faith, introspection, longing,
Form: Free verse
i got a ghostly
mostly moist handful of you
i got a mind
that's top heavy with you
it spills over with you
leaks you
I pant like a Parisian poodle for you
my baggy saggy heart
is packed to the hilt with you
my soggy boggy parts
pine for you
you told me to go to hell
and i went for a while
but came back
with a picture of you
tattooed all over my eyes
and
there were hot flames
under my hots
for you
also my burning boots
and socks
this day i dedicate
to my loss of control
my needy desperateness
my unrestraint
my ill-advised
madcap
rash and heedless
love
i celebrate you
and the fact
that you don't give a damn for me
maybe you will come around
change your low opinion of me
shoot the breeze with me
so for now dearest
please put down that shotgun
Categories:
loss of control, poetry,
Form: Free verse
Before I even put it to drive
I saw you in the future
As if my heart couldnt believe my eyes
The Spring day lovers
Conquest of summers sunsets
My heart explodes
Minutes of our loving days
embers glow
Our limits bound
Silience has a new sound
It punishes you for falling victim
I saw it coming the end at the start
She wins,she wins I fall
Knowing her thought
But not the true path of her heart
Indsguise a fluffy polar bear
Ripped out your eyes
By fault of lust
By fault of love
I could not ask for better treatment
I could not question how or why
Theres never ever been a lie ever
Because it is said
How I want to hear it
By fault of love
Categories:
loss of control, anti bullying, child abuse,
Form: Free verse
Peaceful Reading
I was writing.
There was a beginning,
a middle and an end.
It was not happy or sad,
but it was exciting,
and interesting... at times.
The pen hit the paper,
the ink flowed,
in streams...
and a river of black.
Yet there were red,
in the words...
and the sentences,
that left readers concerned
about today,
forgetting yesterday,
in favor of tomorrow.
"Not enough detail,
not enough courageous outrage,
for the stages of New York.
Not enough elements of evil,
to fill the streets of Los Angels,
as players for money,
over time."
Long lists of categories,
that have been added.
Changes to the dictionary,
Webster was sold out.
Slang,
pain,
no gain,
only loss
of integrity,
and creative grace.
The race for first place,
a best-seller,
not worth your soul,
for the simple fame, you gain.
Be ready instead,
for the coming of all truth,
and the removal of censorship,
by those in power,
as they will be forced...
and the outcome,
a loss of control.
Categories:
loss of control, america, angel, courage, cry,
Form: Free verse
Why
The dandelion
Do we hold with poisonous contempt?
The word weed grown to our lips
From what past snare?
Ah, those words that pop up from nowhere
To keep the front yard order
Clean flat and spotless
Lines and squares
I propose a small revolution
To re-label all weeds
Flowers
Let them spread
Entangled
Roots and blooms of give and take
Sweep our graves with wild meadows
Dandelions milkweeds violets of winding rivers
Breadcrumbs for butterflies
Honey bees on these lily pads
Perfume
Upon our exhausted souls
Loss of control
Divine medicine for all.
Categories:
loss of control, appreciation, change, earth, flower,
Form: Free verse
A proposal of marriage means
taking into consideration
lifetime risks, as well as LIFETIME ADVANTAGES
such as
loss of interest, BUT BEING so much INTERESTED IN PINTEREST
loss of confidence, BUT BEING ANONYMOUS
loss of control, BUT BEING OPPOSITE POLE
loss of memory, BUT BEING PERFECT ACCESSORY
loss of mind, BUT BEING ONE OF A KIND
loss of love, BUT only in mind, BEING SOMEONE FLYING HIGH ABOVE
C'mon! Frankly speaking
it means loss of glory days
BUT don't worry, finally, will come out
WONDERFUL LITERARY ESSAYS
Categories:
loss of control, fun, humor, life,
Form: Free verse
Diverting his eyes from that last final hour,
denying death its due
His conscience and awareness tight in his grip,
ownership unrenewed
Both arms around life, he’s forever rejected,
blinded as time starts to bleed
Meeting the end in a loss of control
—damned by what he won’t concede
(Villanova Pennsylvania: October, 2020)
Categories:
loss of control, death,
Form: Rhyme
Falling
I can’t tell anymore
Which way I’m falling,
At once, I was sure it was down,
But it’s been so long
Expecting to hit ground
That I must be falling sideways.
Is my life so much a trial
I feel I’m falling sideways?
Loss of control,
Fear of what I might hit,
Will I run into tomorrow
Before I’ve lived today?
If I’m falling sideways
When will it ever end?
Catch my breath,
Catch my life,
Rushing by me at a standstill,
Unable to find a handhold,
Not able to find my place.
If I change my perspective
Will it stop me falling sideways?
Turn, reach for something more,
Don’t let them all keep telling me
I have no place right here,
I can’t be who I am.
I believe that falling saved me,
It made me take a stand,
It helped me to realize,
I only have this time
To become who I want to be,
Only I can make that change,
To put my feet on solid ground,
Stand up and take a chance.
Categories:
loss of control, growth,
Form: Free verse
temporary blindness
view obstructed
fog
ice patch
loss of control
accident
snow bank
at the intersection
brakes fail
Categories:
loss of control, winter,
Form: Haiku
Whisper Quiet Blanket
All Surroundings are Crystal White,
Soft, Beautiful, Silence,
Nestled in Flakey Fall from Sky's Height,
Each Patterned *Asterisk* by Science Is,
Unique, A "Nes", Not Man's Hand in Sleight,
G-d Granting A World of Quiescence,
Interlude from the Usual Freight,
Calling for Wonder of Nature's Essence,
Our Vulnerability & Fate We Appreciate,
Munchkins Roll Balls into Snowmens,
That We Can Humbly Emulate,
Accept A Loss of Control, Our Fences & Pens,
Before It's Too Late, See We're Inadequate!
Reflect: We're Not Roosters but Hens ...
********
Note: Nes is Hebrew for Miracle
Categories:
loss of control, beauty, blessing, cheer up,
Form: Rhyme
Our eyes are kindled with the careless spark of a sudden glance.
Few words are spoken, our eyes making a silent dialogue …
Invitation and consent.
Our passion-flame, vivid orange and blue-red,
Heating our blood until, like mulled wine,
It warm-flows.
Our wine-breath is warm and sweet,
Our mouths exchanging hungry kisses
Like greedy children.
Our bodies clinging to one another as if
Close to the precipice, we fear to fall.
Yet relish the thought of falling
In an ever-falling close embrace.
Too soon, from the scorch-blackened earth
Of frenzied and fiery lust
My Phoenix-fear arises.
Fear of engulfment, loss of control,
Guilty longings.
But the spark, the flame is gone.
Merely shadows and embers remain.
Too late.
Sudden strangers, you and I
June 1986
Categories:
loss of control, angst, desire, first love,
Form: Free verse
The noise is a wound that won't heal
Vibrations don't let scars take hold
Held by a grip that tightens at will
No mind over matter
Because my mind is its hold
Even when seeing it coming
Light travels faster than sound after all
I can brace for impact but still
Adrenaline is injected
Muscles clench
Shaking starts
Without fail Again here I go
It is simply a noise I know
Still
car horns leave me screaming
bus brakes I am squealing
when my lover does dishes
I cringe taking cover
Still
The Noise
isn't all noise
Again my mind is its hold
be it threat or loss of control
Not all noise is my foe
fireworks and thunder are spared
and the right beat at the right time can be blared
but I have been concussed was
knocked out for three days
cussed at on my bike
blaring horns two decades
So I ask you to Please keep it down
and one more thing please
please
no parrots please.
For The Noise contest Hosted by Shadow Hamilton
Composed in the wee hours of March 6th 2017
Categories:
loss of control,
Form: Dramatic Monologue
(this poem is a bout falling asleep but there is no category for it)
Heavy lids; burning eyes,
no more chance of getting high.
Dreams both start but don't sound,
as carriage carts drag on cobble stones.
Your heart - slow baritone beats,
pulling you away to sleep.
And it suffers you,
for your loss of control.
It scares you too.
Still, down you must go.
Into the vast sea
of nascent mortality
of terminal vistas.
The hindmost journey
being quiescent aloft.
Categories:
loss of control, introspection,
Form: Rhyme
Grave filled with papers
Illnesses and diseases around
Words and numbers full of pain
Like black plague sinking in to the soul
Every day the same pattern
Every minute same agony
No reasonable escape, no clear path
The loss of control over mind
The stress induced aching inside
Tired of trying tired of fighting
The egsistence, the end seems determined
Can’t escape the feeling of living on the edge
on the borderline of redemption, the imminent escape
Everything and everyone seems temporary, lost in a haze
Life ruled by minutes ticking out, by things gone by
Too much thinking, digging in the past
Present day drowning in a sea of regret
Neglected duties piling up, threatening the future
The unbreakable circle, the same routine
No pleasure to be found, no point to look for.
Categories:
loss of control, depression, sad, suicide, work,
Form: ABC
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