Long Stinks Poems

Limericks
by Michael R. Burch



Clyde Lied!
by Michael R. Burch

There once was a mockingbird, Clyde,
who bragged of his prowess, but lied.
To his new wife he sighed,
"When again, gentle bride?"
"Nevermore!" bright-eyed Raven replied.



The Platypus
by Michael R. Burch

The platypus,...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but...

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Limericks III - Grab Bag

Being a peace activist, I once wrote a limerick in an attempt to stop needless wars:

Of Tetley’s and V-2's
(or "Why Not to Bomb the Brits")
by Michael R. Burch

The English are very...

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My mind is always a million miles away
I long for a better time...I long for a better day
There’s nothing in this life that turns me on
If it weren’t for Mondo, I’d pass and be gone
I...

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Randomling 1:  Matthew Macfadyen

I believe I'm in love with Matthew Macfadyen
He inspires in me a terribly bad yen
But as poetry goes
His name 'spires woes
Cause nothing rhymes with "Macfadyen”.


Randomling 2: Birthday Wishes
  
For my birthday,...

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Give me a pleasant, 
Elevating and 
Elegant embrace
Times like these are Grim 

Believe in Him
Don’t give up on them –
The people you hang out with
So much fun, I can clearly see actually, 
Time and time...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad dog who barks and barks
Geeze, lady, give it a rest
Your...

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Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed your own butt 
It stinks so keep it shut
Pessimism must...

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The Lay of The Best Man - Part One

I’ve seen men ‘good’, and surely, I’ve seen men ‘bad’
So jealous and so envious, I’ve seen men ….sad
Twisted, fuming with anger, and consumed with rage
Callous and cruel...

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Suffolk day Wednesday 21st of June 2017
By Stanley Russell Harris
The new mad author
& A Poetry Soup honourably mentioned poet

There is going to be a Suffolk Day, I heard the news I did today!
On BBC radio...

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Parts 2 and possibly 3 will come out tomorrow or this week... enjoy!! The other verse will be called Caught off Guard and the third - I have no clue yet! Enjoy reading this incomplete...

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   One bright sunny day, Mrs. Puddles Wuggles took her eight kittens for a walk in

the garden and beyond.  The kittens were named; Glimmer and Tywinkle, Itsy and

Bitsy, Topsy and Turvey, and...

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Inside A ‘72 Econoline

This old green van has a musty smell to it,
Like a pair of sweaty rancid socks
Mixed with half-empty beer cans.
It’s a banged up thing, this ’72 Econoline.
Scratches and mysterious dents 
Cover its...

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I have invented a nonce nonsense form: the "dabble dactyl." A dabble dactyl starts out like a double dactyl, but forgets the rules and changes horses midstream. Anyone who prefers order to chaos should give...

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The Platypus: Double Limerick
by Michael R. Burch 

The platypus, myopic,
is ungainly, not erotic.
His feet for bed
are over-webbed,
and what of his proboscis?

The platypus, though, is eager
although his means are meager.
His sight is poor;
perhaps he’ll score
with a...

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Could I entertain your intellectual osseous matter                            ...

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Now listen, 
you called me a Souper nova missing the pun, 
being clever with words ain’t for everyone, 
you comment mindless and tough
I laugh cus you're a spineless pup
 
do you ever think.. umm..
no you...

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First off, there's no place like that 256! 
We are a base of divergent cultures 
with a space enough for each to partake and taste of the mix. 
Mehn there's no place like the 256...

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"come on, get your coat off, its bloody ten too"
not even eleven and there forming a que
"just a barmaid" thats what they say
service with a smile, expected all day
we are more than just pint pourers...

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Cat is a good old dog
But sometimes he cases my hogs
Cat has been around for a long time
I miss the days when he was in his prime
He used to kill squirels and sometimes my cats
But...

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A dedication to my grandpa, 
i love you and miss you,
Your legacy lives on within my heart


The sun can shine
So bright, it makes you blind
Fooling, deceiving.
Very misleading .
The world telling you it's a good day
With...

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Walking slowly up to the water,
 Waves consume her feet, 
The cold ocean takes away the breath from her lungs, 
Thoughts of life without him, 
Haunts her daydreams, 
Moving slowly in to the ocean,
 Holding...

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I wrote the Invisible man poems many years ago. These poems, and I have not submitted them all, was for a little girl who died in a road accident. They are a tribute to her...

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That ugly duckling face of yours 
resembles the back end of a horse, 
that second face you have a gory sight 
a clogged lavatory orange bright,
both worthless to the human race, 
so I’ll tell you...

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