Long Plunger Poems

Here's the scoop, friends...like a bunch of my pieces now posted - and coming soon - this is, as indicated, the 1st HALF of this fairly lengthy poem. The 2nd half had to be posted...

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My wife and I were apartment managers for 18 grueling years that rented exclusively to college students, and - though everything I claim here is either disgusting or scary - or BOTH....it’s all true!



Well, it’s...

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Poems about Children VI

Playmates
by Michael R. Burch

WHEN you were my playmate and I was yours,
we spent endless hours with simple toys,
and the sorrows and cares of our indentured days
were uncomprehended . . . far, far...

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100% Natural psyllium husk delivered solid ecstasy

As of late - I could not but barely move
mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found yours truly
doubled over in gastrointestinal agony

as if elephant or red (livid...

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Fraught With IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome...

today – late morning of November 4th 2022
sudden onset experienced whereby
whooshing waste naturally flushed out
ala mine body electric performed colonoscopy
diarrheal gangbuster instigated
maybe Machiavellian microbe
with powerful rectal surge
analogous to invisible plunger
forcing...

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When we were kids, kids we were without no pain or fears,
we’d do the ‘devilish’ of things to impress our peers.
The biggest dare or bravest feat would for the pack be tried.
Lord knows now when...

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Victory at the Hippodrome

They were hiding their stalls out of sight near the race course at Olympia

No signs but everyone knew where they were under cover of dubious propriety

On track for instant wealth and gratification...

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I WILL HAVE THE FILET OF HUMAN SOUL BUT DON’T USE ANY                       ...

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I WILL HAVE THE FILET OF HUMAN SOUL BUT DON’T USE 
ANY                       ...

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Alpha Bet Cap Cha

Just twenty six letters of the english language to whit
twisted in various & sundry combinations pit
this bull dog of a canonical wordsmith with true grit
to craft bone a fide filigreed grammatical parts...

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Janice’s Looks in the Mirror

Like a pendulum from an orange clockwork

The agent high above on raucous prayers

She hung high and dry suspended in drought


Resembling a shot of liquid poppies injected

The heroine succumbed in Noah’s wet...

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I WILL HAVE THE FILET OF HUMAN SOUL BUT DON’T USE ANY                       ...

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Defecation clogged toilet bowl...
courtesy prescription laxative AMITIZA

and found (me) zee papa pooped out,
thus embarrassing communiqué I post,
a reasonably rhyming poetic shout
to air grievances
concerning outsize bowel movement
hoping (fat/slim chance)
Mike Rowe happens tubby about,
though shadow of doubt
he...

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I lay in my bed.
Thoughts come in waves.
When will it end?
The Dragon slain.

No amount of time.
No person, no thing.
Can change the fate,
That the needle brings.

Sights of Orange,
Delight my eyes.
I pick up a crystal,
And to no...

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‘can’t change your family but you are free to choose your friends’

Michael’s brother is demented and only remembers the distant past

his parents are long dead they died in a car crash at illegitimate speed

every now...

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Goodbyes, they seem to consume me
Too often in my life
People are departing and friends moving on

And yesterday was another
To a friend that I loved
Who loved me back 
That I know.
And my hurting is so great
Like...

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the illness clung like poison ivy to the foundations of her resolve

poisoning hornets injected her wings and she was stung into arrest

Maria did not know what was worse the cancer or the failed cure

the proud...

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Defecation clogged toilet bowl courtesy metamucil..
and found (me) zee papa pooped out

Anal eyes zing thee
nightly dump for yesterday
July 8th, 2020 - whereby
plunger helped obstruction give way
I nearly lost me life and limb oy vey

oh my...

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Detailing delicate defecation debacle

Otherwise wordily titled: pooped out
after pouring bucketfuls of water into 
place of ablutions
all the while skipping to my loo
umpteen times courtesy bathtub faucet
turned toward hot temperature
so toilet would finally,
magnificently, and royally flush.

As...

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otherwise wordily titled: pooped out
after pouring bucketfuls of water into 
place of ablutions
all the while skipping to my loo
umpteen times courtesy bathtub faucet
turned toward hot temperature
so toilet would finally,
magnificently, and royally flush.

As ofttimes occurred in...

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We’re lucky to have a math-whiz kid
And one day this is what he did.

He said we all know about going number two
Now I’ve sorted out the decimals too.

First, there’s the basic, number two
Which chiefly, is...

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Futile effort to plunger the clogged kitchen sink...
courtesy malfunctioning garbage disposal

which won't be removed
by onsite maintenance man
UNTIL/UNLESS 
fruit fly excreta wiped off
(impossible to access)
areas along bathroom and kitchen walls
so communicated "the warden."

Thus we (yours truly...

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Toilet Bowl Committee (aka: Uptown Hood)

A lavatory confinement
my$h!tdontstinkcomode.com
---
If you want to moderate this place, pick up the pace
From the mouth down to the @$$
Your so called kind has no class,
Fed by these political rejects, never...

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JUST ONCE DOPE'S DUNCE
                Come on girl
Just a bit
           ...

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armed with a plunger
he stares down into the
toilet bowl, as the waste
he’s just expelled
captivates him &
a whole swirl of
ideas comes flooding
like a parade of pummeling
tropical storms tearing at
the shore---
that all this was inside him &
now...

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