Alpha Bet Cap Cha
Alpha Bet Cap Cha
Just twenty six letters of the english language to whit
twisted in various & sundry combinations pit
this bull dog of a canonical wordsmith with true grit
to craft bone a fide filigreed grammatical parts of speech fit
together against their verbose will
akin to arranged marriage or prominent zit
upon smooth complexioned face
best lanced with strong arm and first aid kit
lest said unsightly blemish rent asunder
and erupt like mount vesusius lava
that appeared never to quit
until plugged by humungous corkerasp*-
made by one anthropocentric brit
seeking to escape from the madding crowd
and return of native sun within his hermitage
where rays of warmth could barely viz it.
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ASTERISKED * POSTSCRIPT:
Lemme explain the essence of a corkerasp!
whenever constipation a pain in the ass
just maneuver this lightweight metal contrivance made of brass
no matter if anybody considers this action crass
apply corkscrew motion up the alimentary canal to remove waste
which most likely will be thick like petrified paste
stuck deep inside bowels of sphincter muscles and solidly encased
causing severe cramps within lower gastrointestinal tract
inducing one to wince nonstop from being fecal matter packed
and no amount of primal groaning doth loose this hard fact
nor does imagery of freed turd
ease **** plight, no laughing matter despite how absurd
squeezing does nothing even applying all inner might
thus necessary to incorporate un-natural intervention to un-clog
rectal blockage + uncomfortable bloating swelling anus the size of a hog
disabling bare derriere ease to stand let alone jog
yet tis essential per extricating what feels like one swallowed a log
which could presage demise of sufferer, whereby epitaph
twill induce impossible eulogy
spoken in the language where tongues wag in prague
every ounce of effort required to bend
over gingerly affixing plunger end of device to business of rear end
best accompanied with close companion or friend
this dirty deed done dirt cheap trick will ideally rend
rock solid excrement to roll and crash
(on par traversing highway to hell) sound send
upon bathroom floor
possibly inducing seismic waves less or more
whereby toilet bowl water will pour
over the sides akin to white caps near sea shore
without doubt making gluteus maximums extremely sore!
Copyright © Matthew Harris | Year Posted 2016
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