Long Flopped Poems

A funny frog called Mr Snog,
once lived beside a slimy bog,
he was a most peculiar fellow,
his hat was red, his boots were yellow,
his waistcoat was an olive green,
the strangest sight you’ve ever seen,
no matter where...

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The Game of Hockey 

By Government decree, lacrosse
Is Canada’s national sport,
But in the hearts and minds of Canadians,
Hockey rules supreme.
Hockey is a winter sport enjoyed by Canadians since 1875,
When the game was first played, on...

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Can a lioness tender care
Cease towards the child she bare
Yes she may be forgetful
Yet I shall never forget you
Words of mom on that fateful day
As she lay there in the most pitiable way
She drew me...

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NOTE: Some of you seemed to enjoy my stories from the past. Of course, posting this in the story folder is tantamount to burying it six feet under, as you know, so I'm posting it...

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Ted’s libido has now gone astray
He refused a quick roll in the hay
So what could be the cause -   
It’s the male menopause   
He’s been grumpy and snappy all day!
 
His...

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'Twas the night before Christmas and outside was blizzardly
Mrs Claus was busy hanging baubles on the Christmas tree
Santa felt cold and shivery and was succumbing to the flu
And told Mrs Claus "I'm feeling ill, what...

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Terrence the Turkey was feeling quite perky
Passing time in his rafter and doing no harm
No fighting nor squabbling, just gabbling and gobbling
Turkey talking turkey down on the farm.

Whilst having a natter, tame turkey type chatter
Before...

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Young James Pruitt was an ordinary boy;
he grew up in an ordinary town.
But set a spell, and I’ll tell a tale
of how some not-so-ordinary things went down.

See, James was a good boy; he did his...

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Omalinze the great, the maker of rain
You are the beauty of the day, a mighty man
Whose muse keep me going in the journey of life.
My humble appreciation to the gods for a man of you...

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Out of all of the plastic mouth wash bottles in America, I had to fall into this one.
It happened in the middle of a life changing moment on Tuesday when I wished too hard to...

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Coke and weed
Hold nothing on me
She spoke the dream
 I chose to believe

We ride behind the unseen
Stride valleys of green
With shadows that sheen
 And caveats that sparkle

Even further a field
What may you yield
These layers unpeeled
...

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Buddy.Dad's disappointment so necessarily mother's golden boy.
 The first night in the new house four things took
Place.1.Dad said the woman who had lived there was purported to have been a witch,could in fact make a...

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A Very Merry Christmas

T’ was the night before Christmas
And all through the house 
Spoons were stirring the drinks
Held by every souse

The shot glasses were filled
With three kinds of whiskey
Though were often spilled
When Myrna got frisky

The...

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Beyond grateful for the one’s I have
                            ...

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I am a basset hound and I love to play
I can run and jump all day
I really love magic and tricks
I also love chocolate bics
Yummy! They are so good 
I would eat a packet a...

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Dumbfoundedness still prevails three weeks later...
when held spellbound courtesy grifter

Flim-flam man left lasting emotional whiplash
his derelict perfected artifice
to hijack every last cent
smarted me with indelible smash;
living daylight delivered I kidney you not
envious affliction affecting
last named...

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To this brokeness of women, the world flopped and flipped out.
How life flawed and tampered the ice of the girlchild!
How green became red images to their eyes is still a misery to our flammable fable...

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HAVE YOU READ PART ONE YET? IT MAY MAKE SLIGHTLY MORE SENSE IF YOU HAVE {although I'm not giving guarantees.}

 I cannot hold thee anymore
Think I'm dyin' and much more
I try slammin' shut the door

Why...

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Penguin the pilchard leapt onto the ice
He flipped and he flopped and arrived in a trice
He took a deep breath and he held it and then
He bellowed with all of his might… “MEN!”

Pilchard the penguin...

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I sauntered in an evening mist
   A midnight's heaven, magic-kissed
      Lamp-lit raindrops pattered, awesome
         Shining city turned violet blossom
 ...

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The missionary had a cat, which travelled in the hold
That missionary sat beside a lady with a cold
She had a pointed hat and sneezed when they were due to land
Her book of spells flipped open...

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What a fella what a lovely fella happened their way
What a generous fella to kindly offer all these gifts and his services for free
He was of the mind to give them some of his grub
But...

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Their dad had had a heart attack 
since they had seen him last.
In May they said, "Let's visit him,
cuz time's a passing fast."

He doesn't drive, he sold his car
so he'll not come to us.
and we...

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Sitting in rags all tattered and torn 
He gazed through the window and loved what he saw 
A raging coal fire, and some children to play 
Just what he wished for on a cold winters...

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Friday morning 
I hopped out of the shower, 
popped over to the lavatory counter, 
flopped my most profound sexual characteristic 
down and onto a misplaced curling iron, 
burning the tender center of my-very-being. 
Thankfully 
Ms....

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