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www.poetrysoup.com - Create a card from your words, quote, or poetry
THE MALE MENOPAUSE - please feel free to join in the collaboration
Ted’s libido has now gone astray He refused a quick roll in the hay So what could be the cause - It’s the male menopause He’s been grumpy and snappy all day! His testosterone levels have dropped Many Viagra pills he has popped He drops one in his tea It will keep his cookie Standing up straight whenever it flopped By jingo, Ted’s put on so much weight It’s not down to the lunches he ate His once perfect tush Has now turned to mush Ted should diet before it’s too late His middle aged paunch has been spreading Can’t fit in the suit from his wedding He once was so hot Now he’s gone to pot And now I hear he wets his bedding Ted’s developing male breasts, I see So I renamed them "moobies," tee hee They stick out so far He needs a 'man bra' If measured - he’d be bigger than me! Ted’s losing all the hair on his head (It’s sprouting from his nostrils instead) With long hairs in his ear Poor Ted can hardly hear And he braids it when he goes to bed BY JAN ALLISON 8/4/18 Mister T has trouble finding his ding dong I have to laugh even though I know it's wrong He's nothing but a wimp Now that his parts are limp Bet he knows where it all started to go wrong WRITTEN BY LIN LANE Ted is anxiously awaiting his date A beautiful blond he met out of state took blue pills from his pocket to help rev up his rocket but he wonders if she would rather wait WRITTEN BY TANIA KITCHIN "I'm so sorry". Apologised Ted To his wife, as they lay in their bed It's not you that's the cause It's that male menopause "Do you fancy a cocoa instead". WRITTEN BY RICHARD D SEAL Well the doc said “you need exercise”, So it’s football today with the guys, Roger yells “on me head!” “Well I could do,” says Ted, “What’s the point though, when everything dies?” WRITTEN BY NINA PARMENTER That male menopause can be iffy, do more than just cost you your stiffy. You've no more will to jerk; it's just way to much work, but you'll write new haiku in a jiffy! WRITTEN BY DALE GREGORY COZART Ted had a problem didn't know the cause his mate told him it's the manopause advised him to see Bill to purchase a blue pill Bill said this will amuse her indoors Ted asked his wife not to sneer or mock when he told her it was such a shock he had tried a blue pill to give her a big thrill worked too well its now a stumbling block. WRITTEN BY ROY PETT She burst into the room and caught Ted lying naked, aroused on the bed thought that she was the reason that he was now 'in season' not brochures for a new garden shed WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY There a was guy named Ted,that was cool He would make all the young ladies drool Now he’s married and limp And he resembles a blimp The “lift” tanked and the Mrs thinks his a fool WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y The male menopause caught up with old Ted He's no longer the stallion in bed But now he takes a little pill Before he goes in for the kill Now his poor wife just lays there full of dread WRITTEN BY TOM CUNNINGHAM Ted used to be good in the sack. `Til he started smoking that crack. Now his wife`s had enough and she`s left in a huff and picked up a spare with Jack. WRITTEN BY CHARLIE KNOWLTON His wife asked, "Ted what's the cause" He replied, "tis the male menopause, I was embarrassed to mention It won't stand to attention" I'm afraid you've been clutching at straws." WRITTEN BY GARY SMITH Ted loved his "kit-and-kaboodle", Kept it clipped like a champion poodle But a glitch in his gland ... Meant the thing wouldn't stand So it hung from his gut ... like a noodle. WRITTEN BY GREGORY R BARDEN IF YOU WANT TO JOIN IN THE FUN PLEASE SOUP MAIL ME ANY POEMS TO BE ADDED
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