Dumbfoundedness Still Prevails Three Weeks Later

Dumbfoundedness still prevails three weeks later... when held spellbound courtesy grifter Flim-flam man left lasting emotional whiplash his derelict perfected artifice to hijack every last cent smarted me with indelible smash; living daylight delivered I kidney you not envious affliction affecting last named member and founder of the Byrds with crosby, stills, young and nash entire corporeal being turned to hash condemned state yours truly relegated, cuz cremation unaffordable, though pulverized and transformed into powdery ash; Impossible mission to conceptualize transmutation into cremains, the brain lodged within me noggin ill equipped to envision mine gray matter even after asking mister Google to explain that cremation takes place in a specially designed furnace, referred to as a cremation chamber or retort, and exposed to extreme temperatures – up to 1,800 degrees Fahrenheit– leaving behind only ashes. Following the procedure, a cooling period required before the remains can be handled. Yours truly can best attest, when succumbing as victim to virtual heist I most likely flip flopped into one percent atavistic Neanderthal state; a surprising revelation 23andme genotyping results yielded said presence of proto human after analyzing DNA courtesy saliva sample from eldest sister. No other logical satisfactory explanation doth chime lapsed consciousness, hence reasonable rhyme whereat one twenty first century mortal man virtually travelled in time cast into nasty, shortish brute obliging deft inducement outsourcing valuable dough. Though aforementioned far-fetched notion smacks of high skepticism, yet no more ridiculous than hominids over bajillion years springing forth from flotsam and jetsam in the ocean I may as well broach another theory of creation (just came to my mind), that divine omnipotent wizard sprinkled magic potion across primordial sea after watching an advertisement promotion claiming said product contained the seeds of life and white lily. Convinced that snake oil salesman wrought deleterious influence triggering a debacle that rocked the financial market, (albeit constituting one singular naked ape), an attorney general based in Philadelphia believes I presented a convincing case, which hopefully witnesses recouping all or most of my funds.