Long Dunny Poems

For ten months now I’ve brooded over coming second place
in the pickle section deeming, it no less than a disgrace.
It was written plain and simple, so there can be no excuse,
that the pickles in this...

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"Will there be a need for a throne;
To sit on
In heaven
Fecal matter will it matter
Will we eat and consume manna foods
And do angels discharge sweat and waste
Oh! Are there need for thrones in heaven?
lavatory
bathroom
facilities
urinal
privy
latrine
outhouse
WC
water closet
public...

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‘Davo’ rang me up, ‘bout a month ago,
		To travel with him on a trip,
		Way up north to Glenora station,
		So he can search through Harry’s tip.
		‘Davo’ you see has a hobby,
		Collecting bottles, some worth more than...

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There are many life species, on our planet
whose lives, are desperate and stressful
trying to cope with life, as we know it
dealing with strive, that is not normal

Humans have invented, this thing called money
which has created,...

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Oh cripes I’ve gotta tell yer of a horror ride I had,
	That beat any bronc or bull I’ve rode, and I must say I’m glad,
	I’ll never have to ride like that, again to hold me...

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It all comes down to peer pressure when you’re still in your teens.
You want to keep up with the Jones’ and you’ll go to any means
to put yourself into the limelight and be a member...

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Lenny was 30 and still living with his old cheese, everyone called, Lenny’s mum.
She was always on his Cadbury Snack to go find a trouble and strife for a chum.
“Geez, leave off mum, I’ve been...

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I’d been droving for some months now in the harsh drought ridden outback.
Through the stations of East South Australia and along Strzlecki’s track.       
By the time I reached a...

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I met her the other day
At a friends house par-tay
She danced gracefully
Me, geriatrically 
I liked the way she looked
Like bait, I was hooked!
When she left, I got plastered
Woke up like a useless bastard
Realizing I’d forgotten
What...

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Small and Extra Large Loo

ma viewed her old man in a helpful mood
her sweetness turned to  a fiery storm brewed
a two sitter for the loo
his and her  tush  fit for two
extra spicy...

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An Aussie Bush Pee

Now! Have you ever tried to have a pee?
while squatting down and hiding in the bush.
But first, must pull your jeans and undies down
while all the time you’re showing off your toosh.

You...

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give it away
give it all
all for what
all for nothing
nothing you bet
nothing yil get
get out there quick
get lost in a ditch
ditch ya wife
ditch ya dog
dog won’t miss ya
dog'll piss ya
ya think yiv got it down
ya haven’t...

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"Possums on the  Run - Part 1"


Well she ran away
danced the F.U.	 
Revolutionary Dance
Jokers are trumps
Euchre, 500, 
Queens Slippers
no Deuce, no Romance

Holey holy 
blue jeans torn and buried
underneath the house 
with uneaten sandwiches
going mouldy...

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THE DUNNY BRUSH
It has been here since modern sewerage was begun
and each water closet usually has at least one.
But to get a participant to use it, can really be a chore.
Most folk will use the...

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In the land of Oz, we're all fair dinkum,
Every bloke, Sheila and Healer too.
By crikey mate, if you get us started,
You'll regret the day I guarantee you.

In bonza days some may call hard yakka,
With an...

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When I was a lad, we had a dunny out the back,
just a hundred feet away from the house,
down a little narrow track.
I never paid a call, as often as I should,
because upon  opening...

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AUSSIE OUTBACK CHRISTMAS
Comin' 'ome in an aussie sleigh,
ol' tractor ute with a rusty tray,
with a big branch of Gum, it be
the Christmas tree .
hard to find 'em white ant free.

Nailed it to a webbed dusty...

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Chimpanzees are listed as, endangered
and have already disappeared, from four countries
Their habitat is in amazing forests, of central Africa
and they spend a lot of their days, high up in the trees

When chimps are grounded, they...

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Green turtles are listed as, endangered
and are mainly found, in tropical and sub-tropical sea oceans
they are one of the largest sea turtles, to have ever embraced our oceans
 and are the only Sea Turtle herbivore,...

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Sumatran Orangutans are listed as, critically endangered
They are found in, in the provinces of North Sumatra and Aceh
with only nine populations, that number about two hundred and fifty
but because of human populations, their numbers are...

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Brainwashing

Brainwashing is a flowing,
 right there on your TV,
Oh they sell life insurance to 20 year old’s,  
or guys like you an me,
Brainwashing sure is flowing,
 and the lies won’t let you be,
And they...

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I woke I stretched
I scrambled out of bed
I had the need to rush
For I had a pain in the Gut

…

I headed for the Dunny
To release the cause of my pain
The pain subsided as I sat
Such...

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We, the human race
are destroying, our only place
by cutting down, our life filters
and becoming, the human killers

We build, with concrete jungles
causing us, to huddle in bubbles
while turning the sky, into a fry
with our smoke, that...

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Swinging Goat      

Goat a swinging in the thunderbox,    (outside toilet)
in the dunny like a bagged ox,
Kids come home from the flics ol mate,    (movies)
Bowels...

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An answer to a question I really need to know
If you need to spend a penny where do you go
Everyone would say toilet that's certainly true 
However some people like to call it the loo

Some...

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