The Truth Can Hurt

It all comes down to peer pressure when you’re still in your teens.
You want to keep up with the Jones’ and you’ll go to any means
to put yourself into the limelight and be a member of the clique,
so you have to do some daring deed to give your gang a kick.

Because we lived out of the town on some land beside a creek,
we only had tank water so our baths are once a week.
Power hadn’t reached us yet, and our dunny was quite rank,
for we had an outside dunny, not a lavish septic tank.

And on this point peer pressures ugly head was bared.
I got teased about the outside dunny and then I was dared,
to rid it from our social scene to keep in with me peers …
I cannot let the gang down - or I’ll be turfed out on me ears.

Each day I visited the dunny I would sit upon the seat,
and ponder over tactics and what method would complete
the mission of destruction that our dunny will endure,
once I find the perfect moment for one outside dunny fewer.

It was the low and leaden clouds that descended once again,
which triggered ‘it is time’ once we had a week of rain,
for the creek had swollen now and lapped the dunny wall,
so I levered with a crowbar and watched the dunny fall.

Into the creek it’s swept away, tumbling ‘round and ‘round. 
I’m feeling pleased with what I’ve done, but that night I found,
my Father was the least impressed of his guilty eldest son,
for he stood before me in the kitchen - and I’m squarely in the gun.

He said “We’re going to the woodshed Son - that means you and me.”
The woodshed is the torture chamber, where I’ll go across his knee.
I asked me Dad the reason why - he said “What you did isn’t funny.
I know it’s you who pushed into the creek our little outside dunny.” 

I looked at the floor, next up at Dad, and then admitted “Yes I did.
But Dad at school the other day, we learnt about another kid.
George Washington his name was; he was just as bad as me.
He picked up his Fathers axe and chopped down his cherry tree.”

“But because the kid admitted he chopped down the cherry tree,
he did not get into trouble - I told the truth, so why punish me?”
My Father gave a long hard look - “On the point of truth I do agree,
but George Washington's ‘old man’ wasn't in the cherry tree.”

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020



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Date: 1/7/2021 2:41:00 PM
hahaha, what a hilarious ending.
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Laurie Avatar
Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/9/2021 4:10:00 PM
Hello Andrea ... pleased you enjoyed this piece of humour and got a giggle out of the end result - Lindsay
Date: 1/2/2021 2:54:00 PM
OmigoodnessLindsay! This really made me chuckle. Your stories are always so colorful and I can almost see it all happening as I read. Well done. God Bless JB PS. Am finally home from hospital and gaining strength. Should be able to return to work in another couple of weeks. Sorry I disappeared for awhile.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/9/2021 4:07:00 PM
Hello Judy ... first and foremost. Pleased to read that you are well and truly on the mend and it's lovely to have you back. I'm happy too to read you got a giggle out of this tale - Lindsay
Date: 1/1/2021 12:46:00 PM
LOL LOL Lindsay - such a clever ending. So did you get eventually punished in the workshop? Happy New Year Lindsay, Hugs Jennifer.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 1/9/2021 4:03:00 PM
I trust you had a fine NYE Jennifer. Our daughter from interstate arrived to stay for a few days. I'm pleased you enjoyed another set of my silliness Jennifer - thank you - Lindsay
Date: 12/30/2020 5:35:00 PM
A perfect ending to this humorous write. ;0) Thanks as well for your visit.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 12/31/2020 7:55:00 PM
Hello Richard ... it's a pleasure to read your posted work Richard. I'm pleased you enjoyed the poem - thank you - Lindsay
Date: 12/27/2020 6:18:00 PM
Vintage Lindsay Laurie, I must say. A gem! Thanks, Gershon
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 12/31/2020 7:53:00 PM
Hello Gershon ... pleased you enjoyed this rhyming silliness Gershon, but you almost picture the final scene - thanks again Gershon - Lindsay
Date: 12/26/2020 5:58:00 PM
I love this, Lindsay. I agree about the woodshed being a torture chamber :)
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 12/31/2020 7:50:00 PM
Hello Angela ... I'm pleased you enjoyed it. Yes, the woodshed was actually a child's torture chamber - thank you Angela - Lindsay
Date: 12/26/2020 1:10:00 PM
Crikey, Lindsay, you left me laughing a ton with this one! Bad timing with your Pa in the dunny! Brilliant humour! A Happy, Healthy New Year on you and keeping us smiling with your witty writes, Mate!
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 12/31/2020 7:48:00 PM
G'day Bob ... thanks for your kind comment Bob and I'll keep trying. I trust you painted the town red on NYE - catch you soon Bob - Lindsay
Date: 12/26/2020 10:54:00 AM
What a way to end 2020! Great one, Lindsay! Aloha! Rico
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 12/31/2020 7:46:00 PM
Hello Rico ... thank you Rico. What a way to feel the old man's belt - thanks again Rico - Lindsay
Date: 12/26/2020 12:07:00 AM
Lol, a classic punch line. Lindsay.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 12/31/2020 7:43:00 PM
Hello Tom ... there are situations that have consequences for a young boy that are dire, and this is one - catch you soon Tom - Lindsay
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