An Aussie Bush Pee
An Aussie Bush Pee
Now! Have you ever tried to have a pee?
while squatting down and hiding in the bush.
But first, must pull your jeans and undies down
while all the time you’re showing off your toosh.
You grab your jeans and undies in one hand
to keep them out the way before you go.
While balanced in a squat your legs apart
you think you’re ready to then let it flow.
But! as it starts you then begin to squirt
it everywhere except upon the ground.
And then you realize you cannot stop
pee on your legs, your jeans, and all around.
You try to hold it back while you then change
position of your squat will be the plan.
You curse and swear, but then it squirts again
it’s time like this you wish you were a man.
Undo their zip and let it all hang out
before they start just hold it in their hand.
And then direct the flow just where they want
‘Cause they can take a pee while they still stand.
But no! For me I have to try and squat
on wobbly legs while trying not to fall.
Then as I go, I know I’ll wet my pants,
but how to stop it I have bugger all.
So! Next time when I am out in the bush
and need to pee; I’ll strip off all my clothes.
I’ll stand up straight, pretend I am a man
And maybe only pee upon my toes.
But wait! I have now found the perfect seat
that I can use when I need a bush pee.
No longer need to squat and squirt it out
I’ll take my new ‘bush dunny seat’ with me.
Christine ©
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