Legalese Poems | Examples


Premium Member Around the World

One day I took the subway
and I went around the world
From one car to another 
a new nation’s flag unfurled
The train took off from Brooklyn
and I hopped on at Times Square
and by the time that I got home
I’d been most everywhere

The couple that spoke Yiddish,
and hurried on their way
were deep in conversation
which she ended with, “Oy vey.”
And then I heard some talking
that turned out was Portuguese 
At first I thought was Spanish
might as well been legalese 

Rushing through the last three cars
so packed, I had to squeeze 
I heard an “Arigatou”
which I know is Japanese
“La vita non è facile”
I smiled because I knew
The woman spoke Italian 
and the meaning came right through

Then right before I exited
the girl who dropped her toy
Said “Shukran,” as she took it
from the little Arab boy
There aren’t many places
you can hear a language mix
After work, around the world 
and still be home by six
Form: Rhyme

Premium Member We, the People

We all willingly give them the power 
every time we turn-on our TVs 
and absorb all their well-scripted comments 
entertained by disguised legalese 

Then we buy and we use all their products
fill their coffers with money and gold
every year they repeat with new upgrades
an increase in each new item sold

All the drilling and fracking continues
and we all fill our cars with the fuel
as the poisonous fumes cause the cancers
which make death most especially cruel 

We, the People, have all of the power
we can take it all back if we choose
and if ever we should come together
there is no fight we ever would lose
Form: Rhyme


Television News Reporter

Cinnabar remittance ailerons squall federal cobblestones. Lank alpine squint modest. Nectarine grimace, cloys toothsome.
Coiffure chain rod composure anemic, primogeniture Swedish cotton murk optics

Rodeo riding maiden broadcaster network metaverse falconry. Boreal voyages legalese.
Simper treacle blanched anecdotally. Goofy balm, beardless tease, healthy as a horse, real bee knees.
cat

Old and New 2 : Boardroom

OLD AND NEW 2 : BOARDROOM 


Jackal preyed on dimpled dolls
smiling gold on slender wrist
nosing down a slippery path
scowling schoolboy promoted
beyond his mediocre castle


Mammals sat on polished teak
coiffed moustaches, tonged peaks
feeding unclipped grapevines 
old words and wounds
eating raisin muffins


Falcon scribbled notes
watching eyes serving 
newly ordained masters
legalese from a previous 
age flowed from fine shifting 
fingers in a cage


Overgrown thyroid sat there 
his infantry lost in teeming 
townships blaring transistors
interrogators of another time
peeped at a polished tiger-eye
on his seat


Minds like noisy tools 
drilled atomic holes in 
the boardroom table
beaded headdresses falling 
from fat oozing french seams


They will learn Christmas carols
in mint retirement homes
when the table losses its legs


©GhairoDanielsPoetry1997

Charlatans

I'm sick of mean minded people 
who prey on the weak and the old. 
Who use every rip-off trick in the book 
trying to turn crap into gold. 
They target the vulnerable in society, 
with their scams, cons and sharp practice. 
With promises of riches or something for nothing 
with underhand 'legal' tactics. 
Along with the 'friendly' loan companies, 
who charge usurers interest rates. 
They're the dregs of the Earth, of questionable birth, 
and I doubt if they have any mates. 
Why do we have to put up with them? 
Hiding behind legalese. 
They're morally bankrupt, 
leech like, corrupt, 
and degrade humankind with their sleaze.
Form: Rhyme


Premium Member Daily Dose of Legalese

Andrew was a wealthy lawyer's son 
Began each day with his morning runs
Circumstantial evidence
Disguised as benevolence 
Etches daily naughty legal puns



AP: 3rd place 2022

Submitted on January 9, 2019 for contest LIMERICK II sponsored by JOSEPH MAY  -  RANKED 4TH
Form: Limerick

Premium Member Down On Your Knees, Legalese

Rules and regulations bring economic strangulation
   Policies and procedures serve the whims of weak leaders

Statutes and ordinances pave the road to subordinance  
   Hypotheses and theories render creativity weary

Laws and by-laws stick fast in your craw
   Custom and tradition tie the hands of ambition

Axioms and corollaries, originality bury
   Torts and contracts recall long-dead artifacts 

Plea bargaining, eminent domain, the statute of limitations
   Reek of appeasement and Machiavellian machination

Give me a world without all the perverse legalese
   A world of brave men, who dare do as they please
Form: Rhyme

Legalese

There once was a clumsy attorney
Who wanted to go on a journey
     But lacking some grace
     He fell on his face
And soon was stretched out on a gurney.

He’d wanted to taste the exotic
But work made his life so chaotic
     That the thrills he did seek
     Like conversing in Greek
Were replaced by an antibiotic.

When he healed he went back by degrees
For he missed his gargantuan fees
     But the lesson he learned
     Was when trips are concerned
He should stay home and speak legalese!
Form: Limerick

Premium Member To Be a Man

The wish of growing boy it seems
Can never come true fast enough,
But then it does and yet somehow
You find yourself still wondering,
Amazed to find you hold the wheel.
But thoughts are gone you lack right stuff,
Past tense real fear of failure now,
You wake to truth that slumbering
Achieved as much as devil’s deal
Man’s best laid plans just tie with dreams.

No need to set your soul aflame,
Nor yet embellish what is true.
The gifts of those who still aspire
Are same as those who've found their peace.
Confused by how events conspired
To lay the future’s claim on you?
One gift divorced: from your attire,
Fair testimony’s legalese,
Or accolades by poem inspired...
Your manhood simply speaks its name!

Brian Johnston
July 31, 2015
Form: Rhyme

Breathing Life Into Legalese

I, henceforth, known as the respirer, do
solemnly swear hereafter, to take you in,
in sufficient quantities to ensure 
continuation of the flesh's animation.

I additionally, do accede my heretofore,
essential need of your estimable service, 
and express my desire to continue our 
mutually beneficial, ok, parasitic, relationship

Being, as you are, substantive to well-being,
I wish to publicly, and, without reservation,
acknowledge, my sincere admiration for your
valuable and well known qualities

By any and all conveyances available to stated 
respirer, procurement of your services is
to be distributed to every cell of said being 
equitably and on an as needed basis until
such time as service is no longer necessitated

I, the aforementioned respirer, do in earnest, 
testify to my intent and necessity for 
a continual contractual relationship, with you
In short, you breathe life into mine

© Goode Guy 2013-04-26
Form: Narrative

Premium Member Contempt of Court

Lawyers supply inept legalese.
One while defending my Pekinese,
went into a stupor,
made one fatal blooper.
Stripped in front of the judge ridding fleas.
 
© Aug 23 2010 For Carolyn’s “Lawyer” contest
Form: Limerick

Quick Cuts 1 ,2, 3,

Physicians
magicians 
who work wonders with a pill.
They diagnose,
prescribe the dose,
and then you get the bill.

Attorneys
journey
to the law books for a clue.
to file a brief
or sue for grief,
but it's legalese to you.

Mechanics
don't panic
when the car chugs in the bay.
They take their time
to wipe the grime.
" It won't be done today."
Form: Epigram

Court Historians

The Court Historians'
official dictums
of special reports
and minor fiction from
deep in the archives
where they've been
resting with other lies
besides these, and other
generally accepted deeds
have just been released
for "people consumption" now
that the donkies have been appeased
and truth into lie
and lie into truth
have rendered history
spin-city legalese.
Form: Elegy

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