255.
Prayer When Leaving Home
Oh God, I am leaving home
To some place I'm going to roam
Be my guard while I am away
My safety & well-being to You I lay
Let my venture be successful
Let my journey be meaningful
Be still with me when I come back
I hope I can bring home a lot of luck!
-02/11/2014
(Dumarao)
*My Prayer Poems Collection
Our old house has died
I know...I passed by yesterday
my snow angel yard
now crystal-balled and bird-bathed
the English ivy that held together the red brick walls
hacked down by some psychotic landscaper
I wonder who is living in my room ?
shall I dare enter the door by the yellow plaid kitchen ?
does the callbox still ring in the pantry ?
are there servants now who beckon to its call ?
the curtains are all closed
how dark it must be inside
the cracked pane from my baseball
now shiny new
chances of me leaving home
chances of me donning blues
chances of me wearing a flight suit
chances of me being chosen
to carry the sports flag
chances of me staying
what chance do I have to find love
chances of living a life apart
from what I had known
chances of being whistled at by ships
chances of the greatest adventure of my life
chances of boogie boarding the Pacific
chances of kittens
yes, kittens…mom wasn’t a fan
chances of tempura and teriyaki
chances of children in muumuus and leis
chances of sunshine and rainy season days
chances motor pedaling a bit far away
what we won’t do when we are pinch-cheek young
chances of wading, submerging, merging
with (parrot- butterfly- trigger- trumpet- ) fish; and tangs
chances of Hanauma reef and frozen peas
chances of being half a world away
chances of my son finding love in Guam
chances of my daughters marrying Southerners
chances of happiness
chances of me leaving home
A life moves on
The empty space
A vacancy
The smile missed face
The heartfelt ache
The hopeful joy
Of knowing birds
Must wings deploy
The silent cloak
Of no-one there
Is draped on shoulders
Poised to bear
A voice, a note
Would lift the heart
Small gesture to
The soul impart
Some comfort
In the knowing that
The gloss of memory
Not turned to matte
For vibrant is
The emptiness
Highlighting your
Full presence, yes
And more
Despite the heartache burn
It waits with Love
For your return
"It's bad,"he said as he looked at the note,
and suddenly I felt a lump in my throat,
"She's gone!" said he,
but all I see,
is the peg that once held her coat.
It wasn't hard to say goodbye
Until I saw my sister cry
Then so did I
As we drove away.
It wasn't hard to say chaio
To the laugh lines in the brow
Of my Dad who showed me how
As his hug wished me to stay
It wasn't hard to say bonjour
To my mother at the door
As our tears started to pour
In the last hug of the day
It wasn't hard to say adieu
To everything I knew
Looking forward as I flew
To finding my own way.
Morning, a grey smudge.
Blurred senses stirring slowly.
Holding your brown case,
You creep down the creaking stairs,
Lift the clacking latch, then leave.
leaving home
tell tales of courage
hope and faith my
mind will not hold these
sliding thoughts tonight.
tonight I am afraid
it has been growing
in my gut all day
tying myriad knots
like a crazed boy scout.
I am afraid with no surcease
it is paralyzing me
binding me into the woman
I do not know.
write, write,
scribble her out
it is my only way of
battle, expose the witch.
fear is corrosive
and scuttles through
my night an alien
awaiting me tomorrow.
Crying softly in the
back seat, as I
wait for endless greens
woods
farms, cows
to stop.
It’s easier to grieve them
out of sight.
I can't bear to say goodbye, go back to that place,
All the memories moving out, the rooms empty space,
To see it will make me fall to my knees,
Lord, I miss her so much, I can barely breathe,
Inside me, a hurricane that can't tame its wind,
When it touches ground, shaking my foundation within,
To put on a smile and live past the pain,
Is like lying to my heart all over again,
Excitement and joy yet pain
Fearful and so sad yet bliss
A dream to be realised
Boughs bend to the wind
Parents nurture young
Finally freedom to fly
Fledglings spread their wings
28th April 2015
How will I know if this day is right for me?
I have waited oh so long to do what needs to be.
But, is the first step, the best thing, for me to do?
How will I be able to know if… all will work out true?
The first day is the hardest, but what will happen if I fail?
How can I continue forth, if everything is to no avail?
There will be no back up as I stand there all alone.
What, oh what, will happen when I am on my own?
The world is so frightening, at the very best of times.
How can I know that this… is really the right time?
on leaving home:
i have learned to count souly on myself
cause if i fail
i have only one person to blame
MYSELF
when you walked out the sky even cried
pouring down over me
as i stood on that lonely piece of road
watching the blur of your taillights
you've just wanted to live your life
and i've held you back
now you're headed to the big town
my little girl's all grown up
going out on her own
leaving me at home to watch you on the tube
singing country and blues
becoming a shining star
making something of a young girl form ohio
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