Most times, is him not doing great enough,
One round calls it over for the moment,
Screaming that could ginger him high is tough,
Soup without salt; a savage detriment.
Moaning while doing the do is a sin,
And doggy style not ing barbaric.
Distilled water, your kvetch just begin,
Just as errors are roots of Pindaric.
He's my hubby but no more holy.
This is so dirty for me to handle,
Be prepared, you are losing him slowly,
Who burn with his wick as wax of candle.
You ought not be seen as an accident,
It seems to sex, you are a decadent.
Today the kids go back to school;
Employees head to work.
The new year’s not the greatest time
For anyone to shirk.
Vacation days are over;
Just the memories remain
And from procrastination,
Everybody must refrain.
A span of weeks needs filling up
With classes, chores and such,
Appointments, meetings, homework, tests;
It sometimes seems too much.
Yet right around the bend, there’ll be
A holiday or stretch
Of days when school is closed, so now
It doesn’t pay to kvetch.
Just buckle down and dive right in
To join this brand-new mix
Of all that you have planned to do
In 2026!
Calendar commences, conviviality,
kids kvetch knishes cold,
cantaloupe crappy,
kids constantly crunching cookies,
cake, candy.
Could kayaking, canoeing, camping
in Canada cure cantankerous
children's contention?
Can caddying at the country club
conquer kid's complaining?
chaos could conduce calamity,
kindred claiming complete cuckoo-ness,
summer sanity-stealing s'mores scavengers!
Live free or die
so defiant your sentiment
No rent-free for me, thanks
You kvetch and cry...
I'll buy
~ farewell, foul-mouthed fellow tenant
I’m on an A320.
It’s a plane that isn’t new,
So everything on board is old
Except, of course, the crew.
The little TV screens don’t work
Nor do the reading lights.
There’s no place to plug chargers,
Quite unusual for flights.
The seats are full and I could kvetch
Much more, without a doubt,
But I’ll be fine as long as
Windows don’t start popping out.
Dreaming of verdant meadows and amber acreage
flush on the banks of a dazzling blue lake's ridge
Jousting with villains for the hand of fair damsels
or expounding the writ close by the chancel
Forsooth, verily, indeed and indubitably
though others kvetch and moan lugubriously
Verily, forsooth, by my troth and a tad convolutedly
I've plied my trade unfailingly jubilantly
Always meant to be a poet from the age of nine
~ crafting dainty vials of nectar with zesty grape wine
If life were always caviar
And chocolate and champagne,
We wouldn’t have the luxury
Of getting to complain.
And wouldn’t that be awful!
Every human needs to kvetch.
Come to think of it, both caviar
And bubbly make me bletch!
How shall I deal with this wandering mind?
Meandering through a meadow of ideas,
Seeking truth among noxious weeds I find
Since early childhood I have been curious
Always sifting through my brain’s cogitations
Accepting new concepts; discarding previous,
Tossing thoughts like a machine’s agitations
Chewing on choices of words, so indecisive,
Practicing precise grammar with conjugations.
Fending off debaters who are often derisive
Debunking theories that sound far-fetched,
While trying not to be obnoxiously divisive.
How far should an agile mind be stretched?
Let it go unchallenged and it becomes static
Drifts into rumor, relishes meaningless kvetch.
I choose to allow my mind access to the attic,
Considering all the randomness that intrudes
To avoid, as much as I can, becoming dogmatic!
Spoiled soy burgers
and marshmallow spam
Find all the worms
in the uncured ham
Mustard stew a la mode
pistachio-flavored tongue of toad
Dandelion roots in stuffing of turkey
makes digestion extra-perky
Fancy diets? - Gain weight and kvetch
Eat this stuff! Shed pounds ~ just retch
The theme song of modern man:
Kvetch, complain and demand!
Gratitude, thankfulness...
Are you serious, my man?
No way, no how, blame is their game.
Doing nothing for humanity, just driven to shame.
Twisted souls, tormented by needs.
Not realizing they, themselves are pictures of greed.
Wanting a world with nary a synagogue or a steeple.
Just muttering masses of kvetch, complain and demand sheeples!
June 8, 2020
10:30am PST
Poem # 1229
Ronald Reagan in his prime
Was a foodie, way ahead of his time
Though others thought it 'kvetch-able'
He daringly labeled ketchup, on meat, a vegetable!
January 23, 2019
Entry in "Educate Me with Humor - Leader" Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich
My pet mouse Louie is a connoisseur of exotic cheese,
But when it comes to gratifying him, he's mighty hard to please!
I have my own choice of cheese, therefor, 'tis an ongoing clash,
Between me and Louie at which he has become somewhat brash!
If I set a snack of limburger before him, he'll turn up his nose,
And I learned mighty quick to no longer on him that crud impose!
I happen to like a simple cheddar but Louie will clearly voice,
His desire for an expensive gouda if he had to make the choice!
We both abhor cottage cheese on that we can readily agree,
But he savors bizarre cheeses such as Greek feta and French brie!
The latter two I can barely tolerate and well-nigh cause me to retch!
I hate to divulge this but Louie is becoming a bothersome kvetch!
Lately he insists on me catering ricotta, swiss and mozzarella.
(Ain't gonna happen, you can bet your life on that, little fella!)
Alas, my dilemma was solved by my cat who relishes tasty mice;
Louie was devoured by ravenous Jeff the cat which wasn't very nice!
Entry for Barry Stebbins' "Poem About Cheese" Contest
(15 November 2018)
Here, me on the shore,
Botched to retrospect the apathy of the world.
One in charity, one in triumphant,
Herein lays a callous heart without remorse.
Here, me on a mission to win,
Unkempt the very thing I wanna covet.
The tasks without forbearance is annoying.
Herein lays the gimmick of lust.
Here, me on a verge of doom,
Sudden kvetch shook my heart.
I will not yen to greed howbeit raise my arms to give,
Herein lays irreversible assessor.
Here, me to the living,
Yield on to what is faultless.
Supper to the craving,
Herein lays the kvetch end.
It's something that is not quite true
And fits some limousines.
It helps before you exercise
Or lets you put on jeans.
You do it when you're waking up
Or else when tired, maybe;
And it can leave some tummy marks
When you have had a baby.
When reaching for an item
Way too high upon a shelf,
You might employ one if you want
To get the thing yourself.
If we could never use this
We'd have cause to moan or kvetch,
But we're lucky that in all its forms
It's possible to stretch.
I'm never really in a rush
To traipse through gushy, mushy slush
Like that on any city street
Where puddles form from melting sleet.
The passing traffic sends up sprays
Of wetness that's seen better days
To splatter on your favorite coat
(And splash avoidance seems remote).
So in your boots just stride right through
And do what all New Yorkers do,
Which is to shrug or maybe kvetch
'Til we complete this slushy stretch.
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