Long Kvetch Poems
Long Kvetch Poems. Below are the most popular long Kvetch by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Kvetch poems by poem length and keyword.
My pet mouse Louie is a connoisseur of exotic cheese,
But when it comes to gratifying him, he's mighty hard to please!
I have my own choice of cheese, therefor, 'tis an ongoing clash,
Between me and Louie at which he has become somewhat brash!
If I set a snack of limburger before him, he'll turn up his nose,
And I learned mighty quick to no longer on him that crud impose!
I happen to like a simple cheddar but Louie will clearly voice,
His desire for an expensive gouda if he had to make the choice!
We both abhor cottage cheese on that we can readily agree,
But he savors bizarre cheeses such as Greek feta and French brie!
The latter two I can barely tolerate and well-nigh cause me to retch!
I hate to divulge this but Louie is becoming a bothersome kvetch!
Lately he insists on me catering ricotta, swiss and mozzarella.
(Ain't gonna happen, you can bet your life on that, little fella!)
Alas, my dilemma was solved by my cat who relishes tasty mice;
Louie was devoured by ravenous Jeff the cat which wasn't very nice!
Entry for Barry Stebbins' "Poem About Cheese" Contest
(15 November 2018)
Bajillion years after proto humans experienced woe
countless figurative early Brady bunched bro doggie
dimples encountered necessity to escape cohabitation
(marital covenant alien), yet quasi marital brouhaha
ofttimes witnessed altercation begetting re: thorough
out baby with bath water phenomena, which literal
cruel fate heavily peppered past (mine) accounting
lamely explaining Pink Floyd momentary status quo
upended accompanied courtesy lapse of reason no
definitive evidence to substantiate claim, yet I know
without shadowed doubt every friggin forebear (hoe
pining to savor manumission, versus cotton pickin)
back breaking stoop labor think indentured escrow
harking back to days of our lives (mainly bonobo
nasty, short and brutus creatures millenniums ago
unsung simian kindred beings suffering figurative
ruffled horse feathers nsync with bird in hand dodo
which latter species long extinct (as Dutch good eats)
now non sequitur (sea quitter) mine homeboys/girls
comprising Harris eventual clan (of craven lionized
"scapegoats" set genealogical precedent, and grew
some real winners gentiles, who commingled and
intermarried, and united proudly to kvetch as Jew)
eventually acquiring redeeming qualities conveniently
best caricatured as features exhibited by Mister MaGoo
invariably dear reader "fake" anecdote ye will poo poo
as well how storied and fabled coronavirus (COVID-19)
medical technicians reference quaint pandemic setting
figurative global stage brethren and sistern microbes
made webbed, wide world wish for said good ole days
cuz, communique done being crafted about six hours
marine hated, armies of beastie boys slain 2120 yahoo
the darndest, latest microscopic bugaboo nearly slew
entire population, hence envision terra firma with
divine providence absolute zero people as edenic
provenance (metaphorically offering tabula rasa view.
Today the kids go back to school;
Employees head to work.
The new year’s not the greatest time
For anyone to shirk.
Vacation days are over;
Just the memories remain
And from procrastination,
Everybody must refrain.
A span of weeks needs filling up
With classes, chores and such,
Appointments, meetings, homework, tests;
It sometimes seems too much.
Yet right around the bend, there’ll be
A holiday or stretch
Of days when school is closed, so now
It doesn’t pay to kvetch.
Just buckle down and dive right in
To join this brand-new mix
Of all that you have planned to do
In 2026!
The theme song of modern man:
Kvetch, complain and demand!
Gratitude, thankfulness...
Are you serious, my man?
No way, no how, blame is their game.
Doing nothing for humanity, just driven to shame.
Twisted souls, tormented by needs.
Not realizing they, themselves are pictures of greed.
Wanting a world with nary a synagogue or a steeple.
Just muttering masses of kvetch, complain and demand sheeples!
June 8, 2020
10:30am PST
Poem # 1229
Occasionally we should expose the wackier lobe of the brain
in order to better appreciate the more sensible side of the mind.
~THIS is one of those times...
I capriole between my arabesques
fugaciously spasmodic in fluxes and leaps
indifferent to their misanthropic mocking
and cheeky syncopated schisms
BUT LET THEM SCOFF!
I derogate their arrogance
in silent smirking repudiation
for they know not of the decoctions
spating rapidly through my veins,
nor of the massive assemblage
of my miscelany grey and white matter.
The mordant humor of this absurdity
is that I am irrationally rational...
psychotically speaking;
I am dripping with percipience
sagaciously intelligent beyond the measure
of those cretins who kvetch, pule, and postulate
that I am strabismic and nonsensical as a loon.
After reading this write of gelastic absurdity,
it's become mereticiously opaque to me
that my discourse is oxymoronic, OR
I am a dimwitted addlepate.
There is more than one kind of crazy!
*********************
A translated version of the above nonsense,
so now Jan doesn't think she's hopelessly lost.
I dance as if I were a ballerina,
a total klutz, but I don't care
if they laugh at me.
LET THEM MAKE FUN!
I don't care if they smirk at me because
they don't know what I feel or think.
The funny part of my silliness is that
I'm really rational, pretending not to be.
I'm really smarter than I look or act
so let those idiots say that I'm
as crazy as a loon.
Now that I've read these words,
it's clear to me that nothing I've
written is clear. Soooo....
I'm either clever at writing an oxymoron
OR I'm crazy.
there she was, my Twin-V
not my favorite color
but the price was one i couldn't deny
and i was after a new ride for the highway
when you live for that white line
rolling beneath the front tire
hypnotic in its freedom
i heard that kvetch as a child
don't let life bore you until it ends
freedom to be claimed at any price
two hands at the controls
feet ready to bid any gear
leaning into the curves
hands given freedom, outstretched
look, ma i am balancing the universe
i am on a highwire asphalt
the clowns have abandoned sanity
the taste of freedom
as my guardian angel clings for life
the grim reaper in hysterical laughter
and that old Twin-V took me there
until that godforsaken cager
turned into the hospital
and trained as i was, went limp
into the lives of the cagers
his wife looking down, whimpering
convinced, the windshield nonexistence
meant i was bound for happy hunting grounds
my rolling off the hood was convincing
medical teams would envelop me
and there i was, ignoring questions
quick with the retorts
activate the mind to prevent shock
i am old hat at this from work
broken-up men need quick diversions
lest shock sets in
not Hollywood, look me in the eyes
off to the emergency room
where i explain to the policeman
not ignoring you, diverting an impact
and as my Twin-V a shared fate
we will never again see
a white line rolling beneath a front tire
my new license plate holder declared
former biker, now a caged animal
Oregon 9/25/26
Tonight we change the clocks, which means
Tomorrow when I wake,
The world will look transparent
And will not appear opaque.
It’s nice to have some morning light
But not worth what we lose
And darkness in the afternoon
Is not what I would choose.
For shorter days just make me
Want to hurry up inside,
Cocooning in the coziness
That lamps and lights provide.
But that’s a paltry substitute
For sunshine and fresh air
And when the daylight lingers late
Indoors just can’t compare.
We can’t fight City Hall, they say,
So I’ll reset the time
But I can still complain and oh,
I love to kvetch in rhyme!
1st commandment "have no other god except me"
Should there be, He is impartial referee
2nd commandment "do not make idols"
It simply makes the two seem equal
3rd commandment "take His name not in vain"
If thou shall make out of it gains
4th commandment "remember the sabbath day and keep it holy"
For him to make all the 6 days struggles wholly
5th commandment "honor your father and your mother"
Also the elders and that shouldn't make you a smother
6th commandment "you shall not murder"
Like those before Corona herders
7th commandment "you shall not commit adultery"
Don't make it turn out to be your economic treasury
8th commandment "you shall not steal"
The worst is trying the whole lifetime to conceal
9th commandment "don't bear false witness against your neighbor"
Only God can help h/her with such labor
10th commandment "you shall not covet"
Not even pieces of paper inside the ballot
*********************************************
11th commandment "follow your heart"
That's if you think it is smart.
12th commandment "rethink with your genuine mind"
To know how worthy if the kvetch affined
13th commandment "let go"
When at will, none is ready to burn down ego
14th commandment "living with the tragic"
But no one dares hold you if you turned it a magic
15th commandment "saints also do sin"
The difference is that they learned how to give in
16th commandment is "walk in-out like a stranger"
You will sincerely be given respect like danger
17th commandment "no one is perfect"
Even pastors do misdirect
18th commandment "you should place a tag"
But don't dare try to brag
19th commandment "no one has ever return with heaven's video tape"
Not even a single audiotape
20th commandment "be empty of worrying"
After all, no one can tell of himself foreseeing...
Most imp potent and salient playbook page...
'bout fluffiness of hair after washing
Now get ready for...
yup intelligent persiflage
determining if potty "talk" gauge
correctly calibrated courtesy this sage.
Beats out global warming
by a long stretch
most important commander
must set example you betch
chore life no matter
if miserable wretch
survives impeachable offenses
enough to make me kvetch,
especially four more years
yours truly will once again become
bulimic anorexic wretch.
Versus important crisis
of planet Earth,
where Gaia's bountiful
nature woolworth
analogous wharf resplendent
docks side of ships berth state
housing electricity generating
mined resources inevitable dearth
warming chill folks
courtesy homey hearth
reminiscent during inchoate
fetal nine months
in utero signaling imminent birth.
Quite understandable reasonable,
non negotiable, inviolable...
blah... blah... blah
scalp itching blather
particularly to prioritize
orange-blond hirsute fullness
upon rinsing sudsy shampoo lather
as expressed by this
post baby boomer
pencil neck geek father,
who attempts to walk poetic feet
across cyber sea
miraculously to slather.
Trademark seedy nonsensical
farcical gobbledygook,
perhaps posthumously printing
bestselling blank paginated chapbook
ghost written by Trump
titled Art of the Steal
detailing head and shoulders how to look
suave and sophisticated all business
swiftly tailored harried style shook
White House disguised himself as rook
key "Fake" incognito president
recruiting apprenticed bartered bride
slow vacuuming trophy wife crook
cow hoard milching, kickstarting,
inciting, generating... donnybrook
coiffing pompadour resembling
forefathers windblown periwig.
Nope not even one hair
mussed out of place,
as if teetering fountainhead
supporting Atlas shrugged
top heavy topples
and crashes scattering
bajillion easy pieces everyplace
analogous to humpty dumpty
each and every last vestige
vanishing without a trace
exiting out cloaca
subsequently intently watching
toilet bowl royally flush
clockwise if within northern hemisphere
heavy enough to sink submarine
haint no reason yours truly might gush
even if abominable ballast
saves queasy passengers
plummeting thru aerospace.
Every single creature,
From the moment of its birth,
Has a reason for existence
On our humble planet earth.
Worms are bait for fishing;
Squirrels satiate the hawks.
Fishes feed flamingos;
Ducks make music with their squawks.
Crickets chirp a chorus;
Cows and chickens give us meat.
Bees make honey for the bears
And birds are here to tweet.
Lions balance zebras;
Sheep get shorn to give us wool.
Alligators gulp down prey
To keep their bellies full.
Butterflies spread beauty;
Beavers gnaw down extra trees.
Goats spend hours grazing
To produce that creamy cheese.
Every creature’s purpose,
And I guess this is a stretch,
Seems to outdo man’s intention,
Which appears to be – to kvetch*!
*to complain or whine