Keister Poems - Poems about Keister

neither cleanliness nor godliness do I abide

...neither cleanliness nor godliness do I abide
rather yours truly doth thrive
on keeping the ethos, mythos,
and pathos of Pigpen alive
subjected to eternal
abomination, brutalization,
condemnatio...

Blech impossible mission to savor mug of ginger tea

...Blech - impossible mission to savor mug of ginger tea...

When the entire mug awash
with floating leavings
by golly by gosh,
sipping said herbal brew
analogous challenge
to eat spaghetti squas...

Rose Is R-Red

...Roses are red and grown by my own see-ster
Violets are just a pain in my keister
Though I came here to say
Happy Valentine’s Day
I long to kiss your tulips come this Easter
...

Bash Putin Week-Now Open To Collaborations

...We've been having a "Bash Santa" week, but I wrote limericks this morning about Putin breaking his tailbone.  So, Tom suggested we have a "Bash Putin" week.  Here are three more from me.  Please join...

A Tale of Two Suns

...Spring Sun blessed her right on Easter   
                              ~ Summer Sun tanned her on her keister...

Tricky Maneuver

...Which is trickier, slipping or sliding?
The ice out there is a hard quarter inch. 
Which is riskier, gripping or gliding?
  
  I'm digging down deep in the workroom bench;
  I remember they are ...

Hey Mr Fireman

...Hey Mr. Fireman, save him but not her.
She’s mean and horrible, and she has a bee up her keister.
Which one? He asks me, pointing from one to the other.

Good grief! He cannot tell a man from a w...

Slips and Trips

...It was freezing so, and cold winds did blow
 As I walked slowly through the fallen snow
 But I slipped on some ice
 My keister paid the price
 Tried getting up, but down again I'd go

 12-29-20...

Last Time I Scampered

...When was the last time I scampered
About six years ago Thursday, a disaster
Fell on my keister
My buttocks or beeper
Scampered one more time when I got plastered<>

Biological Parents Minted Circa December 1st 1957

...Biological parents minted circa December 1st, 1957

Amelie Beth Harris
fresh out womb blurted "ahoy"
melded as genetic
deoxynucleic acid alloy
awkward first time parents

natural affection di...

Sleeping Beauty Move Over You Got Fierce Competition

...Sleeping Beauty move over, you got fierce competition

Ain't no vicious rumor,
but dead serious joke
cuz no princess
can kiss bajillion times

to get yours truly woke
ah... just one garden va...

Onerous Anus Complex Number 2

...cuz poisonous toxins sting like scorpions
severely crimping ability to sit down absorption
radiating throughout every
cell guaranteeing abstention
against hidebound contract, no

ifs, ands, nor...

End of Summer Countdown Before School Year

...End of summer countdown before school year...

countless decades graduating 
contemptible cum laude
hence same time frame every 
August since...the stone
temple pilot age, this beastie 
boy fl...

Tired of Feeling Sleepy Today August 17th 2019

...Tired of feeling sleepy today - August 17th, 2019

Lashed with fatigue,
eye cannot fend off lethargy
hazy, hot, humid weather zaps
mental physical, and spiritual energy
even men of cloth
vario...

Bums Are Funny

...Bums are funny, I don't know why
giggling 'til I nearly cry-

Silly nicknames are so much fun
like tuchis, tail, rump or buns

Some are dainty, sweet or cutesy
like heinie, cheeks, and petoots...

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