My heart is torn
Since you've been born
Itll be ok little one
You'll get through this fight, itll be all over and soon done
Have your moms characteristics and, dads determination
Have Angel's hoovering above in formation
Have support, you'll never be lonely
Sleep my baby
Relax, itll be ok little one
It's a bump in the beginning road, wont last long
use your strength that you've shown
In my womb, whilst making me groan
Itll be okay
You'll get through this as any other day
Believe in yourself as I do and you'll get far
You can prosper anything whether small or bigger then you are
Take heed to my voice, my guidance as I rub your chin so slowly, rocking you so softly, holding you so dearly
Keep note this moment we share as I because, this is key
A key to our true beginnings once free
Itll be okay little one
Mommy loves you a ton
Trust me as I do in you it wont be long
Till you can come home to where you belong
Born 12/10/2019
20 days earlier then expected
5lbs 9oz, 19in long
Healthy, not labeled as a preemie
Has a heart defect, NICU
It has backwash floating in it,
But Ill still drink the muck, the guck, the grit
The spit doesnt make it much weaker, does it
There's not much left of this clear $&@$
Its in a goddamn plastic bottle too
Its the cheap stuff he tends to choose
I dont care, itll all get used
Maybe tonight, Ill meet my muse
Idk
If once more
They can win it
But itll be
Fun to see
Them try
Open my eyes where did these clothes come from,
Pull out my compact when did i put this make up on,
Why do i smell like him and my underwear is gone,
Finally something i recognize,
Grey Pain stricken Eyes,
Whose phone is this cause it sure the hell isnt mine,
More memories ill never be able to find,
Cant find my skittles too early for a refill,
Get ready dopeman you know the drill,
I just wanna forget what i cant remember,
Just put me by the fire this snowy december,
Self medication never really works,
Itll just help me handle going bizerk,
and then ill have an excuse for being a jerk,
will i ever be normal even with these pills im a freak,
Attleast when im crazy i am unique,
when your a zombie youll never be free,
but when i dont take my meds they take away my keys,
so i guess no matter the choice its always prison for me,
Its friday night and im stuck inside
my friends are all out but i have no ride
to get anywhere
the struggles are right here
it feels like i work everyday
40 hours a week no money
but the bills are paid
monday through friday 8 hours a day
second hand on the clock just ticking away
feels like forever since ive had a break
living the grown up life its just the chances i take
sometimes i wish i could go back to just being a kid
no worries no bills i just did what i did
didnt have time to wonder why
from 13 to 30 in the blink of an eye
days come and then they pass
seems like the years just go by too fast
so take the time and enjoy your childhood
because sooner than later itll be gone for good
Crack That You Sniff
By Valerie Odom
May 22, 2017
Once your gone youre gone
That means youre dead for real
Its like the healings going backwards
Man im tryna heal
I cant take all this suffering
I cant take this pain
But when the trigger goes off
Itll be sent through my brain
I gotta hire some goons
Cause i cant do it myself
Day by day i try to fix it
But its hurting my health
Maybe if you send me away ill get fixed
But my mind is taking over like the crack that you sniff
Itll rip something so deep,
My soul itself will cave,
Begging for the numbness
You easily wiped away.
You'll leave an imprint,
An "almost" kinda mark,
A stark emptiness
Ill do everything to fill.
Eventually,
The darkness will beckon,
Promising lasting relief,
This time ill allow myself
That last sweet sin..
Itll rip something so deep,
My soul itself will cave,
Begging for the numbness
You easily wiped away.
You'll leave an imprint,
An "almost" kinda mark,
A stark emptiness
Ill do everything to fill.
Eventually,
The darkness will beckon,
Promising lasting relief,
This time ill allow myself
That last sweet sin..
Nobody wants to be lonely, hurt, burned, pushed,
No, It breaks you, crushes your soul
It takes the life force, right from your breathe,
Crushes your spirit,
Hunts you down, crucifies your soul,
Rips the feeling right from your veins,
My soul entirely left alone, Abandoned to the cursing screeching windmill of crushed dreams,
The harder you fall, the deeper the ruin, the more scars get embedded inside,
I dont wanna see the fiends lurking underneath my cracked feet,
Hoping that the light in the distance is salvation,
But nothing can hold a promise to these MAYBES my emotions keep exude,
Maybe tommorw Itll be over, Maybe tommorow itll be OK,
Maybe, Maybe,...
Its bound to break, my mind keeps trying to fight the truth,
But the ghostly sound of fear, emanating from deep within,
Extinguished the little light I had left,
And my conscience lost.
I got thrown into a darkened room, the heartless fiends I feared the most,
came galloping towards me,
Every demon tatooed by my fears,
Their loud banging echoing inside my head,
Its not safe, Its not safe, Im not safe.
I. AM. NOT. SAFE.
Geniuskin
#RightWhereTheHeartIs
If you didnt know , its about to be a long hard road,
If only you had listened, your future a way you wouldnt be pissing ,
But to the hard way here we go, lets just just hope you learn before the devil takes your soul, because this world the ones who rule, keep control by keeping you a fool,
Use you as their tool, build you up make you think your cool,
Dont even have a clue, that all you do,
Is to build anothers wealth,
Guess you couldnt see through their stealth,
But i promise in the back they watch and they laugh
Get joy.out.of watching you go down the wrong path,,
Just put the numbers together truth is in the math,
Everything you get from unlawful persuit you dont even get to keep half,
In the end they bleed you until your tapped,
Hope itll be seen before its too late
No longer your destiny you may live your fate
there were lights blazing to the east
but her eyes were fixed to the west
someplace out in that darkness he rode into the night
with his gun in hand to regulate the doubters
she lay in the aftermath of the gunfight
with her cards and flowers
wondering where she had gone so wrong
wondering if she would ever get that white picket fence
with the two kids and all the fixins of her dreams
dawn begins to do its silent dance
as she worried the edge of her dress
and looked so like a lost angel
fallen from grace but holding her own
she will make breakfast for the townsmen
and serve up the hard liquors
just a matter of time she thinks to herself
before he will come back this way
take her up to the bedroom with promises on his grin
and for a moment she will believe once again
that itll all change
he will take her far away from this place
someday she will have the dreams
but for now she slips the ring into her pocket
and gets back to work
someday
someday
feel your heart race
like a busy dreamer caught up in
such a perfectly beautiful dream
like a soul boxer making his last stand
throwing fruitful punches at the star strewn skies
watch as the brightest stars fall
watch as the words you labored so hard to write
are taken from their context
poor boy don't you know words serve
whatever mouth willin' to speak them
and to that end you can sucker punch the dawn
but itll hit back with blue skies and summer breeze
feel your heart race
keep pace with your wildest dreams
falling like the brightest stars
...she kept her heart on a chain
never let it run mad like it was born to do
she kept her head in a box
never let it see the light of day
she has keepsakes for a heart
and romance novels on shelves
little dragons decorate her hallway
with little knights to slay them
natural and homespun as can be
she lives in her books
and lives for the day prince charming will come her way
she knits and tinkers her days away
always busy never stops
she is a model prisoner in her homemade jail
ever ready to pardon the thief for a kiss
ever ready to take the burden from the beast
she thinks someday will come tomorrow
and itll be better than promised
itll be sunshine cakes and sweet wine
and she will be done doing time for being a lover not a sinner
she kept her heart on a chain
and her head in a box
and never gave chase to the wild boys
now grown and old
Cpt. kirks future predictions- Food tubes {supplimitarium A B C D E}
Universal united nations {u.u.n} tying all the galactic species in celestial socialism
Robotic republicans & dimensionless democrats
All humanities races will melt together into a weird orangey color
The soviets will turn Cruthnie into a super secret nuclear facility
All drugs will be trans-dermal
Gluttony will be glorified
Itll be illegal to naturally procreate "pick up a kid or pet at the genetic clinic
Garbage will be used as fuel
Itll be cool to be mindless
In my visions i see sky cities and underground dwellings segregating classes
73 eyes on the beasts back and 96 paratoidals to an orbital octant... end transmission
Here i am a lone soul walking along this lonely road
I dont remember where it started
I cant see where itll end
all i see is this long empty expanse before me
I started with friends but one by one they vanished till only i remained
just one soul on this lonely road
I come to a fork in the road the cross roads of my life
I dont know if i should go to the right or left
I see you coming from the left
You've been torn and bruised from your choices
Humiliated and hurt by those you trusted
You see me I look at you
Neither speaking but telling our stories with our eyes
I smile at you and hold out my own bruised and dirtied hand
You smile through your tears and take it
We continue down this empty wasteland
Just us two lonely souls
Till the end or till one disappears?
We dont know but on we'll go till...........
Who Knows?
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