broken souls and broken hearts,
the sleepless ones who look at torn stars,
the twinkling lights that blink afar,
city lights blurred with blinding cars,
are all befriended by the dreamless faces,
that look like lost and stolen art;
estranged glances and estranged words,
the sound of silence they've always heard,
fragrances of the night that are so absurd,
keep alive the sleepless ones who are lured,
by the dark and scary midnight,
when the sky bears no birds;
fluttering curtains and fluttering wind chimes,
the blazing noise that seeps in from the outside,
sleepless ones try their best to hide,
but Oh! It's already twilight,
the sun and moon sit beside,
while sleepless ones look at committed crimes;
a new dawn and a new day,
it has unwillingly arrived,
another night with no dreams,
another dark time where past screams,
when the moon hears no cries,
it means the sleepless ones have died.
Foul tempest wind dost beset thy slumber,
its rain doth drain and dampen to stupor.
I rithe at thy great agony's bequest,
haunted by frightening reminiscence.
'Still the torrid pleas of thy soul!', I cry.
Thunder does naught to distill the shrill screams.
Lightning drenches me in thick vulgar sweat;
heart racing, mind pacing, fervent unrest.
'Will I e'er see a brighter morn than this?';
for foul tempest has consumed most my years.
But just then, when all seemed undone, foregone;
rain culls, clouds lift, and a rainbow now dawns.
09.02.2026
('Resist the devil, and he shall flee')
('I have set my rainbow in the clouds...')
What can she do, it's 12am:
a dripping faucet, ticking clocks,
mockingbirds mimicking crickets.
An elephant never forgets
these things and all that she regrets:
mockingbirds mimicking crickets,
a dripping faucet, ticking clocks --
What can she do? It's 12am.
[An Octo]
Silence plagues this mind
nothing brings relief
Darkness brings nightmares drifters,
demons of past, present, and future
This mind turns on itself; everything on repeat
Counting...not sheep...but what-ifs
what ifs of the day, of yesterday and tomorrow
Insomnia dances with me in the moonlit kitchen
A hollow darkness that I cannot swim out of
Insomnia
Holds me hostage inside of my house,
inside of my head
It romanticizes the dim-lit oven light
that dips me in a trance of insomnia bliss
It's a slow nightly torment that weighs
heavy upon my soul
Day transitions,
Always,
Into darkness
Of the heart,
And leaves
The mind
A waste
Of desiccation.
Specters cast
By embers
Mauling corpus
Of the dear
And less
Depraved, resort
To madness
And chagrin.
Sun lulls
To scorch
Indifference in
The bark,
Asleep within;
Cocoon,
Yet nothing
Different, safe...
Dusk is born again.
I arose later, in the middle of the night kind
with a kind of a strange thought on my mind,
the kind I know, it was the very reason why,
I arose later, with that thought trailing behind-
in the middle of the night: "was it the coffee?"
I stared at the ceiling, eye on a speck,
Half-asleep wondering: "A bug? What the heck?"
I got out of bed, now obviously mad.
It landed right on me, invading my space,
Making me jump as I swatted my face,
Chasing the critter—then memory flashed—
I arose later in the middle of the night kind,
with a kind of a strange thought on my mind,
the kind I know, it was the very reason why,
I arose later, with that thought trailing behind-
in the middle of the night, I realized-
"No bug spray." My reason why.
The stars are peeking down at me
I'm dog tired, and begin to weep
And still awake, it’s half past three
The stars are peeking down at me
The land of nod I crave to see
I have given up counting sheep
The stars are peeking down at me
I'm dog tired, and begin to weep
sheep count in thousands
too many sheep too noisy
sun hits on red eyes
I should be sleeping,
Softly drifting into peaceful dreaming,
But I’m awake with a jagged leaning
To trade in my rest and fight what I'm feeling.
The shadows are creeping,
Across the floor where the light is seeping,
The silent watch that the walls are keeping
Is a heavy price for the soul I'm reaping.
I’m plagued by flickers of fictitious whispers,
The static hiss of a thousand blisters,
A hollow chorus sings in the ghostly distance
Twisting the air into brittle splinters.
The silence is breaking,
To the rhythm of an empty aching,
Between the giving and the taking,
I’m just the ghost of my own making.
I ponder the world’s problems in the twilight of my sleepless hours
By morning my own troubles rise once again to reclaim their powers
Lost, adrift.
All light escapes me.
No white noise, my thoughts journey in silence.
Alone at the end of a rapture.
Or so I thought.
A silhouette approaches.
Glowing with grey, a ghostly grey.
A soft hush fills the empty abyss.
A long black dress towers overhead.
Hair of golden brown,
gazing eyes glimmer with pity.
Dark shadowed eyes,
Freckles laid in perfect symmetry,
Lips pink as petals.
Skin white as snow, cold to the touch,
yet radiating warmth and tenderness.
Lance-like fingertips.
A feeling of comfort washes over my body.
She reaches out her hand,
extending her undying love.
As she leans in to greet me with affection,
I close my eyes, waiting for her guidance.
But nothing happens.
As my vision returns,
I am met with a terrible truth.
I woke up
No,
Please let me rest.
Let me sleep.
Why can’t I sleep
Why can’t I lie still,
Please let me stay.
It was her dream too.
It was her wish that I’d be there to greet her.
Her love was real, I felt it.
She should be here with me,
in my desperate arms.
My beloved, my sweet.
Guide me through the darkness, beloved.
I am your instrument.
Insomnia sucks
Sandman is playing my song
Woke so sing along
Coffee. Tea.
Or whatever it may be.
Stay awake, wait for it.
Go to sleep when the sunshine's lit.
Your mind's suffocated,
let it breathe.
Night time mornings,
the losts' time for mourning.
Close your eyes
Clear your mind
Another night is yet to come.
---
August 2020
I looked longingly out my window
Even the moon seemed to snub me
The sky exuding gloom and doom
It was going to be a long night
Awake in the stillness of my room
AP: Honorable Mention 2026
When I stopped
taking Sertraline
again,
I felt too much
all at once
including
a cacophony
of anxiety
I hate to acknowledge
that even I
need a little help
to get by
I didn’t choose my mind
in the lottery of life
I decide what I put
In my body,
everyday
grapefruit juice
for health,
avocados
because
I love
their shade
of green,
and meat
because
I crave
meat
what I choose
to put in my mouth
directly affects
everything
all my little,
daily outcomes
don’t seduce me
as much as you,
sexy Devil
little pills can do so much
I don’t want
to tap dance with the Devil
when I should be sleeping
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