Krutsingers just make me laugh, regardless of how silly
Absurdities ‘bout false eyelashes, really?
And yet my twinkled eyes are proof they work,
So who the heck am I to be a hoity toity jerk?
With an ingenuine saccharine la-di-da
The hoity toity woman said “hi” to ma
A want to be royal, an aristocrat
stated poser, false Sheila name of Pat
My brother was smitten right away
He gave her his best times of day
Pat could have been a clock tower shooter
He did not see this at all, my brother Tooter
She is so refined and fashionable!
I thought a narcist too and really dull
She is so pretty and genteel
I did not think so, and here’s the deal…
I knew William, her ex, a wonderful man
She stole all his stuff except for a fan
At her sale she refused to sell to him
He was escorted out by her new friend Tim
Will’s dog was sad, she had him staked out mean
Putting on airs like a Victorian Queen
Pat married my brother Tooter of course
Arrived in a carriage with a rented horse
We may have lost him I said to my ma
Just like your daddy, she said, referring to Pa
For Pa had run away with a scoundrel too
She took all his money and possessions in ’82.
Hodgepodge of high-brow, hoity-toity happy hogs
Happened upon a wagonload of St Bernard dogs
In a hocus-pocus way they turned them into logs
You do not fool with a witch’s razorbacks in these bogs.
Our land of stars and stripes, now glows,
with screens that flicker in hallowed halls.
Entranced humans shuffle, with eyes fixed below,
on small gadgets that have us enthralled.
Should the Statue of Liberty, our symbolic girl,
be holding a smartphone up to the world?
While tweets fly like eagles and hashtags swirl,
foreign disinformation trends as fast as it’s purled.
In lunch halls, real conversations take rest,
as influence is sought—in hoity-toity, binary quest.
Friends are backdrops—originality in short supply
as likes and shares make our dopamine fly.
America’s zombies, though *********** drained,
shuffle endlessly on, with Wi-Fi stimulated brains.
Once the land of the free, we’re now the land of tech
with minds wrecked by truths unchecked.
As we rock and sway—the new robot way—
will our old, analog-republic simply fade away?
.
.
Songs for this:
Airhead by Thomas Dolby
.
Oh, and a Christmas playlist because—it’s December:
daweb.us/xmas/Christmas_01.mp3
I only speak in Absolute
Yet this is not my only attribute
Im also fluent in Paradox
Contradiction and Outside the Box
Though Deception is my native tongue
And Manipulation my lips have sung
Not in ages have I conversed
In languages of the damned and cursed
On occasion I'll use Diplomat
To suit a purpose
Or if the situation calls for that
Never will I speak in Babble
Though in Hypocrisy I sometimes dabble
But my character i do defend
I only do this to reach an end
And Haughtiness if 'tis the season
And Hoity-Toity if there's a reason
And also in Conformity
Though it's sprinkled with Repugnancy
While in forgiveness I can read and I can write
My Understanding is riddled with my Oversight
I never learned to speak Coquettish
But I do admit I have a fetish
I understand a small amount of Bliss
Which I think derived from Righteousness
But honestly I'd have to say that Theoretic
Has always been,will always be,
My favorite aesthetic
I was walking hoity-toity
When pride tumbled to the ground
And despite its monolithic weight...
It feathered not a sound.
I stretched upon a bended knee
But my efforts were surpassed...
I found the weight... did dissipate
As it reversed to blackened ash.
I stood there for a moment...
Not sure what had turned the tide.
But if one must drop a deadly sin...
It's best to start with pride.
The End
arrogance
insolent, hoity-toity
domineering, flawing, insulting
haughtiness, pomposity, humbleness, grace
groveling, praising, craving
profound, modest
humility
Where does one find humour?
Everywhere one looks... at least I do
Others may not see it like me
But maybe I'm just built differently
I was blessed with an oversized giggle gene
It's certainly not a bad thing I guess
Could have turned out to be a serial killer
Often thought I may have missed my calling
But I guess I'm a wee bit old to be starting a new career
So I'm really sorry, youse guys are just going to have to suffer
“Did you hear the latest one about...”
Sorry! I promise to make it more sophisticated
And only post hoity toity type humour like
“Didst thou heareth the most recent humorous episode chronicling...”
Holy crap! That'a really snotty!!!
Hoity-Toity
La-Di-Da
existence desired
never able to obtain
the coveted lifestyle
high falutin pompous
arrogant attempts made
towards obtaining the
obscure illusive snooty
characteristics of the
desired social class
of the ritzy aristocract
sitting a top their thrown
looking down upon the lower
class of society
Thinking of retiring my limerick pen
Replacing it with a hoity toity pen and then
If y'all get on your bikes
And take proverbial hikes
Maybe I'll just go back to writing limerick gems
© Jack Ellison 2015
Where does one find humour?
Everywhere one looks... at least I do
Others may not see it like me
But maybe I'm just built differently
I was blessed with an oversized giggle gene
It's certainly not a bad thing I guess
Could have turned out to be a serial killer
Often thought I may have missed my calling
But I guess I'm a wee bit old to be starting a new career
So I'm really sorry, youse guys are just going to have to suffer
"Did you hear the one about the... "
Sorry! I promise to make them more sophisticated
And post only hoity toity type humour like
"Didst thou hearest the most recent humorous episode chronicling..."
Holy crap! That's really snotty!!!
© Jack Ellison 2014
I live up here in Minnesota where season's have four names.
But sometimes just one is the reason to our claim to fame.
Right now the snow birds aren't our best friends.
And the snow is up to our rear ends.
I'll tell you true, this ain't no game. :)
Well in a month they'll all be back to show off their sun tans.
And on they'll go with with their rich show and hoity toity plans.
If I sound bitter, what can I say.
It's been a harsh winter, last year until May.
But I digress, at least I guess.
My heart's not quite that froze.
Although when I shoveled the roof.
Quite numb became my toes.
Rjr440
For the impress me with a small poem. Kinda failed. :) With the short part that is.
There’s no need to be all hoity-toity when you’re in the hoi polloi,
My mother used to tell me when I was just a little boy.
Live your life as best as you can and don’t build it up too high,
Because anyway you look at it you’re an ordinary guy.
Always deal with simple things and in them you’ll find joy,
Life is just to complicated if your living outside the hoi polloi.
But mom and dad taught me that learning words was cheap,
And that the ability to use them well was a skill that I could keep.
So I learned how to manipulate them and use them as a toy,
And send them out to all my friends living in the hoi polloi.
For William and Laura Nance
if the jabberwocky were a clock
would it talk in jabberese
or simply be right twice a day
in order to sometimes please
what if ants were big as horses
and horses could take to wing
would the meadowlark, lark or
perhaps the songbird sing
if the songbird did decide to sing
would it be bass or baritone
oh, yeah, the hoity toity thing
likely to sing and dance alone
if the bull horn bellowed long
and the fog horn fumed a cloud
would the dog bane bite and the
Johnnies jump up before a crowd
would your blankie snuggle close
when the wookie is on the bed
and fly you back to never land
on pixie dust coated gingerbread
I intentionally left caps and punc out
of the poem for a more child like effect.
© Jun 8 2011 Charles Henderson
For Deb's "Go Ask Alice" contest
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