I'd rather smile than cry in front of you
I'd rather cry than wait for you
I'd rather read than sing for you
I'd rather write than talk to you
I'd rather dream than actually face you
I'd rather sleep than dream about you
I'd rather be everything without you than watch the red string evaporate with you.
I might write letters to you or mean words to rattle the cage of a soul in despair and be THROUGH
I might play an unknown tone like a deal with the devil, like a tear on a keynote, on a piano.
I will play for you.
Once or twice I might end up dreaming a faceless you-
The soft winter, cold water, warm sunshine and leaning against you under the blanket i quietly crawled into-
I will see you
But I 'd always be everything without you than believe in another lifetime with you.
06-07-2022
My Lord
Why do I feel like You have abandoned
Me why do I feel like You don’t come aboard
When I ask to be pardoned
Do the sins I commit
Make You turn Your back
On me will I ever meet
The standard You set even when I lack
The ability to do so I pray I fast I sin
Just like anyone with flaws
Just like anyone who wants to win
You over and obey all Your laws
Without You my Lord You know there’s no life
And I can’t even for a sec a day survive
Great Uncle was a musician
He chased his dream on a mission
He never penned a song
Folks knew him well down in Nashville
Though music paid no big gas bill
He had true ambition
His songs found a sweet rendition
He played with open admission
His true love was lifelong
John picked his guitar with goodwill
With joy, the music he instilled
Sharing tunes, his mission
To make music his tradition
Spontaneous compositions
If I could string along
I'd play it with my own free will
John Craig showed such a master skill
He strummed strings all day long!
John Craig rode as a musician
With grit and a deep ambition
Just pickin' it along
John would pluck out his chords at will
With six-strings he'd ride and travel
Playing good tunes, headstrong!
He was a slick string technician
A musical aesthetician!
He played for trav'lers all night long
I'm not sure he knew a playbill
His playin' was a sweet earful
John Craig's songs still roll along!
[Even if in my mind!]
Great Uncle was a musician
He chased his dream on a mission
He never penned a song
Folks knew him well down in Nashville
Though music paid no big gas bill
He had true ambition
His songs found a sweet rendition
He played with open admission
His true love was lifelong
John picked his guitar with goodwill
With joy, the music he instilled
Sharing tunes, his mission
To make music his tradition
Spontaneous compositions
If I could string along
I'd play it with my own free will
John Craig showed such a master skill
He strummed strings all day long!
John Craig rode as a musician
With grit and a deep ambition
Just pickin' it along
John would pluck out his chords at will
With six-strings he'd ride and travel
Playing good tunes, headstrong!
He was a slick string technician
A musical aesthetician!
He played for trav'lers all night long
I'm not sure he knew a playbill
His playin' was a sweet earful
John Craig's songs still roll along!
[Even if in my mind!*
Pusillanimous
hosted pugnacious
~served Hawaiian punch
When asked if I am home
By those I don't wish to be around
I say that I'm about to leave
I say that i am about to leave
somewhere I know they can't go
Due to the fact
I also have no clue where it
Is that I am going
or when I get there if I'll stay
So instead I say
I'm out of town
Somewhere no one
Would look for me
Or for who I was with
Because I'm with him
Him being the one
Who has shown me these new places
Where we have made
many new memories
In every way possible
He completes me
And it is him
That is the view
From out of town
Because he is home
Away from home
When I am not there when
Some one knocks
Or rings my doorbell
Or puts their ears up to hear
If anyone is there being silent
Is anyone there trying to be quiet
I am not home in my home
But I am home when
I’m With him
I'll ruin myself for you,
Maybe I won't laugh
For a year or two.
Your smile will burn my heart,
Maybe it'll be the end of the start
And I'll ruin myself for you
Like I always do.
I crawl to you in the dark,
You're the tree and I'm the bark,
I wish it wasn't true
That I'll ruin myself for you
Like I always do.
Your opulent house
Where you live like a mouse
Under the scrawny scrutiny of your wife,
Your petty pride for your sad and silly life.
Yet you still don't care
For my love so fair,
Which is so cruel and unfair
That you dare
To neglect me so it's true
That I'll ruin myself for you
Like I always do.
Bigger than the sky is my hunger and greed for life,
Such a pity that I'll never become your bubbly and beautiful wife,
The only thing I ever wanted,
Your memories and I'm forever haunted.
If only you could see
The pure love for you in me
Flowing like roaring rivers so authentic,
Me and you, the two of us so magnetic.
Now you know that it's true
That I'll ruin myself for you
Like I always do.
So bittersweetly fair of face; I stare at a breathing dream,
baring the sweet taste of smoke on his lips,
as I longingly yearn to trace mine over. Your bitter secrets and untold words.
Through breaths that fall short—
and sweetened lips I pine to part
like torn paper sugar packets.
The soul that sees all alike
O equality to strike,
Sees every soul as his own,
In all finds the soul his own,
He scarce can anyone hate,
As all equal does he rate. || 6 ||
_________________________
Translations | 04.09.2026 | hate, life, self/soul, creatures, Rhyme
Note: Only when we see the other soul/being as different from us, the negative emotions of competition, fear, envy, hate etc would take hold in us. If we see them in us, and in us them in a world of non-duality, such feeling would disappear, this verse says.
There is wealth of wisdom in ancient Sanskrit texts . This series on Jewels from Upanishads covers selected verses from various Upanishads of which there are as many as 120. We select a few verses only the major ones, beginning with Ishaa Vaasyam. The translation here is not verbatim but freely done. The transliteration of the verse follows. Alas I have to remove all the transliteration symbols.
yah tu sarvani bhutani
atmani eva anu-pashyati |
sarva bhuteshu cha atmanam
tatah na vijugupsate || 6 ||
See verse 6.29 of Bhagavad-Gita that talks in similar tone.
An Oathbound lil child
Chasing dreams wild
Unflappable in stress
Still has to deal with mess
And that mess is me
Still yearns for you to fly not flee
Imperfections meet perfections
My heart knows, you take actions
Blindness takes me over
But can't see you hover
All your hurt to me and my fortune to you
You made my love come true
My beloved enchanted
Never took you for granted
Alas! My heart is fragile
And you're a little more agile
I took it as a curse
In quiet measures it got worse
I was stuck in that black hole
Darkened with every role
But why would I let my mishandling make you suffer?
Between you and your dreams, a buffer
Your life quietly aligns
Amid me and my whines
But but but, it all got unraveled
When I made my pieces together travelled
And then comes a wave of rapture
Dew kissed my heart capture
My heart aches for all the soreness I gave thee
But now these scars sets free.
All the misfortune and evil eyes flee
And again our soul sparks glee.
A name can feel heavy
Before you ever mention it.
Some names carry rooms
You never meant to dwell in.
A name can imitate until you
Forget your own voice.
Some lock behind you like a
Door you didn't restrict.
Some names carry rooms
You never meant to live in.
And still, you wear them
Because someone handed
Them to you.
Some lock trailing you like a
Door you didn't close.
One day you discern the metal
Shift.
And still, you wear them
Because someone handed
Them to you.
One day you hear the metal
Shift.
One day you step out
Leaving the cage open
Behind you.
"I filled the night's chalice with knots of desire..."
For you have set my untarnished heart on fire
"I learned how to live unkissed, until" we met
Now, we dance all night long, a romance duet
"The moon is an honest Manipulator"
Gives us away with its light, like a traitor
"It's raining roses and love riots" tonight
Together, we make an enviable sight
I'm the passionate pulse that beats in your veins
Wholly yours to explore, 'coz you hold my reins
The midnight stars groove to the rhythm of our souls
We are in a place where amour, us controls
Let's share our ardency with milky moonbeams
And with the sleeping world, our soft stardust dreams
Hands joined, lives intertwined, we will never part
For you and I, we live in each other's hearts...
I have fallen once again…
I know… everybody falls,
And I’m trying to get up
But can barely even crawl.
All these burdens that I bear ,
They have knocked me to my knees.
So, I call upon the Lord
And I hope He hears my pleas…
I believe the Lord will save me,
But even if He won’t,
Still will I serve Him…
Life can be so very hard.
We must struggle everyday,
We all stumble and we trip
As we follow on His way.
It’s so hard to find our peace
And to keep His end in sight
When worries keep on growing
And we cannot sleep at night,
I believe the Lord will save me,
But even if He won’t,
Still will I serve Him…
So, I’ve fallen once again…
Seems I do it all the time…
And He says to let it go
But I still cling to what’s mine.
And I know that I lack faith
But I’m trying to believe
And to open up my heart
So, His grace I can receive…
I believe the Lord will save me,
But even if He won’t,
Still will I serve Him…
There be none of that
U b fresh to me
You're not cool to me
Rude as dirty pig
You be loud stinky and unruly
I be not for you.
My heart I shall not give
Simple as that
You shall not
Wind me over with your lust
I be not for you
I beat trust
Not to mess
I am chosen
To a king beholden
You can't have it
My vessel nor soul
You can't have it my vessel
I'm spoken for
I am my kingdom's bride
my king I am his
Virtuous, I'm chosen.
I b not 4 U
~
Dia be none for dat
u b fresh to me
you're no bi dey sharp to me
rude as dorti pig
you be loud stinky and do anyhow
i be no bi for you.
mai heart i shall no bi find
shikena as dat
you shall no bi
wind me ova wit ya lust
i be no bi for you
i beat trust
no bi to mess
i am chosen
go king beholden
you no fit don it
mai vessel abi soul
you no fit don it mai vessel
i'm spoken for
i am mai kingdom's bride
mai king i am im
virtuous, i'm chosen.
i b no bi 4 u
9/1/26
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr 2026
Afrobeat Song
Feeling a stinging, sharp pain.
It's fitting perfectly, like a puzzle piece.
Who is it that is to blame?
Going faster and harder till both of us break,
going still, even if I freeze,
'cause, oh Lord, it really is for my sake.
All the fire inside of me,
the feeling only screaming, “Please,”
letting them out, letting them grow, letting them be.
He is all I ever wanted to achieve.
With him, the largest problems transform into relief.
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