She lifts the one-piece blue gym suit toward the camera,
that relic of our girlhood trials~
the stretchy, scratchy, sweat-soaked uniform
we wriggled into like reluctant acrobats.
It hangs from her hand like a captured beast,
its elastic edges still whispering
of locker rooms, loud whistles,
and the long-ago tyranny of mandatory jumping jacks.
Her grin is bright, almost defiant.
“I survived the blue gym suit,” she says,
as if announcing a medal earned through
endurance, embarrassment, and sheer adolescent grit.
And truly~
for every teenage girl who fought that fabric,
who peeled it off after class like a second skin,
who learned early that some battles
are won simply by outlasting them~
it is a lifetime achievement award.
A small, silly triumph.
A shared secret.
A reminder that even the strangest struggles
become stories we hold up proudly
once we’ve lived long enough to laugh.
All the gymbros want to have big muscles;
All are willing to put in the hustle;
the one thing stopping us, being the price,
of protein powder, canned chicken, and rice.
Only one of these things, can we amend,
it comes in a green, high quality blend;
a whole tub is cheaper than two big macs,
It will make you very jacked.
All our resources come from the sea;
Consequently, we will fit your budget to a tee;
Most protein from the ocean is cheap,
You will collect our protein powder in heaps.
Not a show off
Protection of course
The gym stands for exercise
Word to the wise
Proper training technique to emphasize
Keep sneakers and socks on
Smelly bare feet don’t belong
Be deodorant ready
Concentrate on training equipment lifting steady
Respect others as yourself
Don’t act like everybody else
Shower at the end
Make sure your workout clothes are clean
Otherwise, Lysol disinfectant spray will be the stream
Gym fresh
The gym is not a conversation place
Keep up the exercise pace
Exercise is not for a stiff
Show respect the whole time
Don’t disobey gym policy rules
Your membership could be terminated at discretion of the gym’s wish
Exercise is about body transform
Etiquette is the required norm.
Having lived the sedentary lifestyle
for more than quite a while
and hoping it was not too late
I plumped for the thought
of losing weight
as rotund about the middle
I'd become quite stout
joined the gym but couldn't go
so it didn't work out
cold and heavy
left in a gym for days
confused and stingy
a confused human dumbbell
They called the "Buff Boy" to clear my table.
He winked, said I'm ready, willing, and able!
I was eating kumquats after a couple squats,
And ran screaming back home to my wife Mable!
The following week, I was doing some curls,
On the Thigh Master, was some pretty girls.
Their nostrils flaring, cuz they caught me staring,
I must have looked like a swine casting pearls.
After that, those long walks to the gym were over!
Get a new hobby, Mable said, ambition drove her.
Wasn't no conductor, so became an instructor,
Now, I own that damn gym, walking in tall clover!
Gym goer hits the gym—me,
A dumbell slipped wild and free,
He fell on his mouth,
A tooth out, a shrill shout,
Oops! He realised—the gym hit me!
This limerick is fiction
There are a few people who motivate me
When I walk in the gym to workout I see
Balances of challenges a sea of humanity
Some with limbs that don’t move normally
The woman in wheel chair with a green smile
She’s moving and meeting her own goals now
The man using his walker has courage so loud
That inspires the lot of us even the small child
In the pool they are free to move
Silly me too embarrassed to try to
I can’t swim and once had lessons too
I’m watching them as I do what I do
You may not know who you indigo inspire
Just by being who you are you lift higher
Yourself and others despite dilemma's red fire
You are an earthly star press on towards desire
Yesterday I thought of going to the gym
for a minute considered going for a swim
then I remembered I had better things to do
convinced I could come up with a thing or two
Today I was thinking again of going to the gym
but soon gave up on that reckless silly whim
instead stayed home to bake a chocolate cake
planned our supper and thawed a ribeye steak
Tomorrow I'll likely consider going to the gym
but save myself the trouble and just pretend I'm slim
afterall life's too short to waste it breaking in a sweat
while cocktail glasses await to be filled with somethin' wet
AP: 1st place 2025
The neophytes
The hunks, the hulks
The curbs, the bulks.
He's on a health kick,
Running until he's feeling sick.
No alcohol or flavoured vapes,
Sleeping eight hours with closed drapes.
Chopping up veggies with brown rice,
Drinking green smoothies with cubes of ice.
Avoiding French fries and burger meals,
Measuring his blood pressure when he feels.
Chicken is his only meat,
Especially eaten as a treat.
He has decaffeinated tea and coffee,
And natural sweetness in his banoffee.
Enjoying pasta with basil oil,
Some sourdough pieces, quite small.
Swimming daily fifty lengths,
To keep up his body strength.
He's a regular at the gym,
His personal trainer looks up to him.
Because he's on a health kick,
And exercising until he's feeling sick.
sparrows spare...ow's...
with their
wing-s-eyes for full-light...
and...
bird brain differ-andt-says...
that their spe-sees well
past human percept-shuns...
so that...
their ups-downs and spirals spun...
show
wings without any attend-shuns...
stan sand
I took a long look at him:
Body of user of Gym
Wants muscles, not to seen trim;
His Agnes might remain The Slim!
There a Tim trains, so does Kim;
Then, why can't he Mister Jim?
Yeah! About time Jim went to Gym
Or Gym does reverse for Jim.
While training follows his whim:
No Rock Music: sings God's Hymn,
Glass of juice filled to the brim,
Eyeglass with Coppery rim...
But Jim for Gold not Copper
His choice of bike A Chopper...
"Tomorrow, another Gym
Remember that Jim."
Who came up with gym class?
Literally nobody asked…
The athletes thrive,
While all the others die.
Gym is my first class of the day,
This teachers should have no pay.
He just sits there and watches us suffer,
I just want to call my mother.
It’s impossible to fail gym,
But in the end, I’d rather swim.
I go to the gym
so I can fit in
the pants I bought last year
Though I must admit
it's nice to sit
and study the leotards there
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