Long Gym Poems
Long Gym Poems. Below are the most popular long Gym by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Gym poems by poem length and keyword.
Another day at the gym,
Pumping iron for the swell.
Aching muscles feeling grim,
As I put myself through hell.
Boneless chicken that I bake,
Egg whites keep me lean.
Protein powders in a shake,
With a dose of creatine.
Heavy squats inflate the quads,
Bench presses for my pecs.
Arm curls to increase the odds,
In the mirror just to flex.
Pull-ups will expand the lats,
Back with snatch and grabs.
Cutting out excessive fats,
And crunches for my abs.
Stretching to protect my calves,
Dumbbells for bulging traps.
Smearing on more greasy salves,
For running more than twenty laps.
After many hours dripping sweat,
My daily workout finally done.
Don't you know I won't regret,
While basking in the blazing sun.
Fully grown I am the size of a golf ball,
So, goodness me I am somewhat small,
I am a male and I have a very specific job.
I normally roll elephant dung into a ball,
Sometimes my partner helps me, so with our hind
Legs, we push it to a suitable spot that we find.
Humans find us fascinating for often we roll
Our dung ball on the sandy part of a road,
Some of us naturally are killed by cars,
Who cross the barrier between tar and bush,
And run over us so we become mush!
Meanwhile my dear madame beetle is mostly
Hitching a ride on top of the dung, so yes.
Of course I have to be fit, go to our local gym,
I enjoy watching the ladies’ legs,
Who strengthen them, to help towards each ones’ birth,
Of one egg only, all this for one, not many eggs,
My load is heavy and I have to adjust it at times,
If I swerve, could become history and a sorry mess,
Oh well, every job has its hazards I guess.
Now Mrs beetle is ready to lay her egg,
In the desired spot that the two of us found,
Far enough away from speeding car tires’
But fear this summer heat could bring more bush fires.
We survive on eating dung as elephant dung
Is very nutritious, elephants have a bad digestive system,
So seeds are present within the dung, which blossom
Into trees and plants, so think how essential I am,
In the cycle of nature,
Oops, bye-bye I see a fish eagle, who for me,
Could indicate danger,
And tomorrow,
Hey give me a break guys,
Think I’ll take a break, and holiday in the North
With Santa, and Rudolph the reindeer.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Gym
A funny thing happened on the way to the gym.
Halfway there, my car ran out of gas.
I didn’t have my cell phone. What to do?
I couldn’t miss my favorite spin class!
I figured I could make it if I ran.
I’d have to run really fast, and so
I left my car parked on the road. I had
just fifteen minutes with ten blocks to go.
Just one minute and a half per block
I figured out was all the time I had
to get there right as spin class was beginning.
Yes, I could do it (or could I?) Eegad!
I didn’t even have a watch to know
if I was running fast enough, and then
I tripped over my shoe lace and fell down.
I got up, knee skinned, to run again.
I felt so weird. Cars were slowing down
Some people stared and others laughed at me.
I knew I looked ridiculous, but gee!
Then suddenly, I felt the urge to pee.
I only had three blocks to go, but I
just had to get myself into a store.
Thank heavens, 7/11 was right there.
Breathing hard, I lunged inside the door.
Inside the restroom, to my shock I saw
my outfit was split open, and my rear
was on display for all the world to see.
My heart was pounding, this time more from fear!
I had to leave with paper towels tucked
inside my shorts to cover my behind,
then begged to use a phone to call my spouse -
the spin class now the last thing on my mind!
My spouse arrived. He bought gas for my car
parked seven blocks away. I got (in less
than fifteen minutes) more a workout than
I’d ever got from spin class, plus duress!
July 13, 2018
for Robert Haigh's A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To... Poetry Contest
Yesterday, the gym, I was off to get fit,
I was going to shed all this weight,
And run and do arms, enjoy every bit,
And I wouldn’t leave any complaint,
So, I began on the mill, worked up a sweat,
I quickly lost all of my breath,
I thought “It’s only a walk, just like outside,
Maybe I’m out of my depth.”
Well, I left this machine, and went to the weights,
A small load I needed to lift,
And sat at the curl bench, with towel by my side,
And started lifting without any assist,
I stayed for an hour, it felt really good,
And last night it felt good in my head,
But today, when I woke, I couldn’t move a thing,
Today I’m staying in bed.
There are a few people who motivate me
When I walk in the gym to workout I see
Balances of challenges a sea of humanity
Some with limbs that don’t move normally
The woman in wheel chair with a green smile
She’s moving and meeting her own goals now
The man using his walker has courage so loud
That inspires the lot of us even the small child
In the pool they are free to move
Silly me too embarrassed to try to
I can’t swim and once had lessons too
I’m watching them as I do what I do
You may not know who you indigo inspire
Just by being who you are you lift higher
Yourself and others despite dilemma's red fire
You are an earthly star press on towards desire
When, while a father with two young girls,
ah charming children indeed
both wrapped around mine middle finger,
whose playful rebukes
this papa did heed
(who wished for a son),
he never did breed)
aplomb (fig your at Tivoli) found me
taking their fruitful lead
apple lee going bananas acceptable
mischievous behavior harmless misdeed
from this grown man,
sir render ring self to land
flat on me bum
as if drunk from mead
where playfulness my creed
years ago that streamed
by at lightspeed,
I experienced a
manifest destiny that freed
Aladdin side me, those decades,
sans long gone fatherhood
plus roles he learned to succeed
recalling catfights ('twixt
daughters) he refereed
who cherished those
offspring, he did seed
reckons adult opportunity
gifted yours truly mentoring
with excellence they did excede
to let loose once, and always frightened lad,
healthy development anxiety did impede
his spontaneity damned and leveed,
thus renaissance awoke to relive boyhood,
and prior to parenthood,
would be less apt to concede
how natural to bond with progeny
fostered by being keyed
into esprit de corps of biological charges,
now grown without need,
nor want of this
sudden embarrassment person,
whose absence in mein kampf did bleed
unstaunched sadness till affixing
available spare time with books to read,
and poems to write attempting to feed
an errant stray tear every now and again,
more pronounced as father time guaranteed
begetting precious bundles of joy,
how pedestrian days of yore like a tumbleweed
rocketed them thru preschool, kindergarten...
high school, college now this doddering
doth oft attempt (with futility) to reach them...
even cherished memories insync
with Jack and Jill Truck klaxon dost recede.
Sweating,
bench pressing,
ripping my chest..
Urgg,
the final stretch.
Whew,
she breezes by.
Crop dusting her
"love Spell Perfume".
WOW,
my eyes follow her across the room.
In dream-land,
I've lost focus,
under hypnosis,
now "tailing" that tail.
bent over,
tan thighs.
That apple bottom
caught my eye.
No surprise though,
I'm a booty kind of guy.
Those blue latex tights,
fit your hips so right.
I fight,
fight my growing urge.
Candy for my eyes,
such visual delight.
I can't focus on my work-out,
with that magnificent sight.
Sweet, caramel apple,
ample eye candy.
Erotic, mass provoking,
thoughts encourage Gym-Nasties...
**Concluding the Gym-Nasties collaboration started by Linda-Marie Bariana "Sweetheart"
Jared Pickett
12/17/09
Asavvy1
Not a show off
Protection of course
The gym stands for exercise
Word to the wise
Proper training technique to emphasize
Keep sneakers and socks on
Smelly bare feet don’t belong
Be deodorant ready
Concentrate on training equipment lifting steady
Respect others as yourself
Don’t act like everybody else
Shower at the end
Make sure your workout clothes are clean
Otherwise, Lysol disinfectant spray will be the stream
Gym fresh
The gym is not a conversation place
Keep up the exercise pace
Exercise is not for a stiff
Show respect the whole time
Don’t disobey gym policy rules
Your membership could be terminated at discretion of the gym’s wish
Exercise is about body transform
Etiquette is the required norm.
Doctor said I must lose weight
Sugar banned a thought I hate
No butter or cheese except low fat
My body will morph fancy that.
Off to gym in new sports gear
Going to sweat daily for a year
You think this is fun? your quite wrong
'Till I Collapse' my favourite song.
Each night exhausted I take a jog
Dear heaven above it's such a slog
Bedtime drink warm skimmed milk
No easy task to look like sylph.
Months rolled by still hitting gym
New way of life am now so thin
Resisting temptation I'm in to win
Aerobic trainer whose name is Slim.
Nonsense Rhyme
Poetry Contest
Sponsored
by
Charles Messina
11/09/2021
She lifts the one-piece blue gym suit toward the camera,
that relic of our girlhood trials~
the stretchy, scratchy, sweat-soaked uniform
we wriggled into like reluctant acrobats.
It hangs from her hand like a captured beast,
its elastic edges still whispering
of locker rooms, loud whistles,
and the long-ago tyranny of mandatory jumping jacks.
Her grin is bright, almost defiant.
“I survived the blue gym suit,” she says,
as if announcing a medal earned through
endurance, embarrassment, and sheer adolescent grit.
And truly~
for every teenage girl who fought that fabric,
who peeled it off after class like a second skin,
who learned early that some battles
are won simply by outlasting them~
it is a lifetime achievement award.
A small, silly triumph.
A shared secret.
A reminder that even the strangest struggles
become stories we hold up proudly
once we’ve lived long enough to laugh.