Best Gym Poems

An eloquent lady named Kim
works her Words at the Poetry gym
Limericks put on mass
while Haiku takes spin class
and her Couplets are healthy and trim!



================
This limerick was written for my 
Soup buddy Kim Patrice Nunez. 
Thanks for your positive input 
and excellent support. Hugz!...

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Yo check it
I’m at the gym and I’m lifting weights 
Getting more cut than Sharon Tate
Get big every day that’s my motto 
My gym schedule is never staccato 
Popping veins and rippling abs
I look like something cooked up in a lab
Cuz I’m a lifting machine
Running...

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Ode To A Gym Teacher

Amid brassiere and derrière
She strives to put her clothes on.
Her panties there, stockings here 
The rest of it, she throws on.

At the mirror, shining bright
She struggles with her powder.
She holds her place with main and might
As others try to crowd her.

How...

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the human brains -

                                        - all...

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Three times a week I’m in the gym,
keeping my weight and blood pressure 
“within safe limits”….I count down twenty
minutes on the treadmill, in groups of
twos…shouting out 18!-16!-14! and 
so on …until I reach Zero!
The girls downstairs, on reception were 
built for sex…or so it seems,...

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Hours of kick boxing
Eye lids on a constant sit up practice,
Blood flowing down through various yoga positions
Eye muscles are stretching
The lips lifting weights
Cells running on a treadmill,
After such a long boot camp
The mind ready for meditation....

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All the gym's a stage
And all the pale boys merely players;
Unconvincing ones, too.

At the theatre entrance 
I part with pride
For a curious form of Vaudeville.

The maxims of inertia invert.
No longer are the masters
Of the ruling class.

To make up for their deficit,
They perform:
Cackle, strut, and prance...

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Anguish,

fear, 

infidelity, 

caution,

heroism, 

exoneration-

death, 

discovery, 

attitude, 

angle...

Here I come,
angle your beast,

here I am on the run,

peddling with the mean-

I don’t need to hear words,

I can cause them to erupt,

that’s a better way to feel pleased,

I am a skunk,

a deliverer of  the priests,

jumping in a...

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Dumbbell, dumbbell
                             Arc and drop
Clanging bell
           ...

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creaking rust
spread to my tissues
am growing masses of
bulges appear out of hi-
ding sweat trickles odour
of yesterday humming like
tropical mosquitoes escalati-
ng the growth of surreptitious
microorganisms girls on the bikes
giggling and gossiping i watch like
a saint middle aged mamas perspiri-
ng ammonia and urea swirl in artifici
al air...

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That old ugly Frankenstein,
always loved to wine and dine.
Now he had a fat behind
couldn't waste any more time.
He decided to join the huge Monster Gym,
all that fat he gained, now needed trimmed.
He had given each mean machine a try,
by the end of the night, was...

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I looked into the mirror and this is what I saw
Overweight, bloated and extremely out of shape
Put me in a purple shirt
And I'd look just like a grape
The time had come to buckle down
It was time to go get fit
There's not a better time to...

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Another day at the gym,
Pumping iron for the swell.
Aching muscles feeling grim,
As I put myself through hell.

Boneless chicken that I bake,
Egg whites keep me lean.
Protein powders in a shake,
With a dose of creatine.

Heavy squats inflate the quads,
Bench presses for my pecs.
Arm curls to increase the...

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My heart aches
I am fat
It's already too late!

The workout kills
The instructor is hunky

My stomach churns
I am overweight
It is not even funny

The weights are stuck to the floor
The stretch ribbons won't stretch anymore

My jiggly parts burns

Screw this, I'm out for the door!
Let's go out and have...

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I used to like barbells, enjoyed pumping iron,
   my Nautilus* gym was one happy environ.
Those posters of 6-packs and marbled biceps
   inspired me to start counting carbs, pounds, and reps.

My trainer would coax, "hold as long as you can!"
  ...

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