BROKEN WINGS
I spread my wings
And feather
But I couldn't fly.
I open my ears
And heart
Yet I couldn't hear.
I open my mouth
And lips
But I couldn't talk.
I close my eyes
Alongside thine sunglasses
Yet I see.
I see my past
And fears
I take to the wood.
My obstacles,
Experiences I espy
I take my leave and the halt.
I'm eager to fly
Yet, my wings are broken.
I saw a gorgeous girl today
and I have to make her see,
that when she knows me better
she will fall in love with me.
So plucking up my courage
I asked her for a date,
amazingly she said yes
and I knew it must be fate.
We arranged to meet at a restaurant
round about half past eight,
I watched her go inside
so I knew I wasn't late.
I sat down at the table
and said, "I love you dear,"
then heard a voice behind me
saying, "hey, I'm over here."
So I hurried to her table
I was feeling such a fool,
she just sat there calmly
and was looking very cool.
She said "I must tell you a secret
try to understand if you can,
I never meant to deceive you
but really I'm a man."
I don’t have a favourite,
I love them all
Shorty and sporty
Petite and tall
Dowdy and flashy
High and mighty
Shy and vivacious
Safe and flighty
I love Juicy Lucy
Smelly Kelly,
Scraggy Maggie
And Silly Millie
I love Gay Mei
And Straight Kate
Spotty Dotty
And Plain Jane’s great
So is Jolly Molly
Clingy thingy
Obese Louise
And Skinny Ginny
I love Boozey Suzie
Sweaty Betty and all
I love them long,
I love them short, I love them tall
I have a favourite type of girl,
Nothing wrong with that
I love my ladies ample
Like beautiful Fat pat
Also Porkus Dorcas
And Obese Louise,
Glandular Angela
Gives me a good squeeze
I love voluminous
I love them rounder
I love them full bodied
Because rounder is sounder
I have a favourite type of girl,
I love my ladies trim
Like Skinny Ginny
And Ultra slim Kim
I love them thin and bony
Not a hint of saggy
I like Scrawny Dawny
And Scraggy Maggie
Lovely Lean Jean
Or Slender Brenda
For the nearer the bone
Is sweetest and tender
I love the way you turn me on
When we sit on our sofa on the lawn
Your breakfast is the greatest dear
Scrambled eggs and a case of beer
I listen to each breath you take
Your snoring always keeps me awake
Remember walking up the hill
To get some moonshine from the still
A romantic dinner would be so fine
Two Big Macs and a glass of shine
You scratch your butt and wash my clothes
You watch TV and pick your nose
I'll love you forever to tell the truth
And when you smile, I love your tooth.
I sent my love a red heart,
Declaring my love so true.
His angry wife returned it.
"Hands off!! He is mine".
For contest 3 way tie for no. 1 won.
CHASTUSHKA – two
Hopak is a Russian dance
But it is too fast for me
No! I prefer the six-pack
And a damsel on my knee
Please dear Lulu marry me
I am your slave on my knees
I love you so want to shout
Not for love but for the gout
Uniquely Average Sex
by Rick Rucker
The Gypsy placed upon us a Blessing Hex,
We didn't pay her enough, We would have uniquely average sex!
It sounded so funny, we laughingly cried,
But no matter how we never always tried,
To spice up our Love Life, even on the lawn inside,
Our neighbors would cheeringly deride,
Our efforts, to which, we had truthfully lied,
Our responses were lovingly snide.
We made Love at the end of the middle of night,
With all of our halfhearted might,
The Curse does, us, happily vex!
We continue to never enjoy Uniquely Average Sex!
Snow White’s vain and wicked stepmother
And her weakling of a father
Forced her with seven dwarfs to live
Whom all her love and attention she’d give
She’d love to get the jewels they’d bring
And wore them round her neck on the string
But when the prince kissed her and woke
She agreed to ride away with the bloke
But soon she started terribly to miss
The seven dwarfs who were such bliss
She remembered the days she would lie around
While the dwarfs would clean up without a sound
She longed for the love of seven men
Who’d keep her well fed in their den
So back she came with a lot of joy
With a promise to soon return for her baby boy
Inspiried by the fairy tale-Snow White and the seven Dwarfs.
She said, "Honey do I look fat in this?"
He said, "You look beautiful in that"
She said, "Honey do you still love me?"
He said, "Yes Baby you know I love you"
She said, "Honey do you remember our first kiss?"
He said, "Yes darling, it was in the front seat of the Chevy"
She said, "Honey, if you could would you do it all over again?"
He said, "No way, next time I would hire a Carpenter to fix the roof!"
Well I guess three out of four isn't bad....
~Smiles~
~Haiku~
your love flew away
like a migrating bird
and never came back...
~Limerick~
Your lack of love pushed me to the floor
I couldn’t take it anymore
I signed on the dotted line
You were no longer mine
Why don’t you just hit the door?
~Couplet~
We entered into a partnership
Six months down the line you decided to jump ship
7th place
Contest: Divorse Club
Sponsor: PD
© November 2010
The earth knows your business child;
there's nothing anonymous ...
about alcohol.
Them drunks like to show off ...
yes, they like to show their strength.
They beat women like bongo drums.
Them gal down at the factories,
they love a man on cannabis;
a mellow man -
in a constant mellow mood,
always hungry for good food
and a good cook.
Their pencils are always sharpened,
ready to write -
in rain, sun, or sleet;
Not so with them funky drunks,
theirs are more eraser and less lead.
they'll erase even wet dreams,
their pencils are nothing but dead,
carcasses for the crows.
Write love on puffs of cannabis clouds
just like Nesta Marley did.
How bloody is Mary
after glasses of your spirit poured out?
love is forever yours Mary Jane,
my darling and consort.
A finger will never hurt thee.
I love my life,
I really do,
I love my husband,
And(just found out), so do you!
So what do we do,
What do we do,
I'll split him in half,
That's what I'll do !
Ha!
Why would someone fall in love with a stump
I submit that there may be such a chump
It seems so very bizarre
But I suppose that there are
Some blokes as gullible as Forrest Gump
© Entry for Matt Caliri's "I Fell In Love With A Tree Stump" Contest
Sub Categories
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.