Long Funnylove Poems
Long Funnylove Poems. Below are the most popular long Funnylove by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funnylove poems by poem length and keyword.
Strumming the strings of a guitar.
Staring at the flame wondering where you are.
Stuck on you like fly paper.
I can't shake the thought of you.
Looking out the window staring at the stars.
I feel you in my veins, I feel you on my lips.
Patiently waiting by the phone.
Hoping one day you'll call, just to say hey!
Supposing anyone like you could ever love someone like me.
It's stupid I know, but I can't help but feel inadequate when I'm next to you.
Trying to shake this love sickness.
Enough of these thoughts unabated it's time to get situated.
Tuning the thought of you out of earshot.
Turning the t.v. & stereo on, trying to flood my head with static noise--
To quiet the memory of you.
Listening to Ke$ha Take It Off.
Watching Khourtney & Khloe Take Miami.
I still see you in the back of my mind.
There with your smile so warm & your voice so kind.
If only I could go back & rewind:
Press replay & play the fool.
I know I can feel so cold & over-brimmingly full of myself, but be patient.
Everything I do is an act.
Entertaining the masses with my mystique & ahead of its time sense of humor.
I'm not full of drama, just full of commas.
Do I wear you out?
Am I too out there for for your conservative values?
When the cameras roll I need to find my light, I need to hit my marks just right.
A professional at heart; I hit like an unexpected tidal wave tearing your little world apart.
Don't take everything I have to say to heart, I don't know what I'm saying half the time.
Just empty dribble running from my mouth.
I need a true friend, a steel love.
Nothing I ever do is enough for me.
I need to be something more, so much more.
I hear you knocking at my door, trying to ignore you like I did before.
I need you lying on top of me to stop these rhetoric spasms from shooting out my mouth.
How I'd love to just give in to you.
To surrender everything I am to you.
If you find this letter, I hope you see things clearer.
Just know I'm Lady Gaga in love with you.
When I grow old
My body not yet cold
But the brown of my eyes
Turns to gray
I will wear a large hat
When I patrol through
My garden and keep the
Weeds at bay
I’ll have big pots of this
And of course lots of that
On the stove for when
Company drops in
The food will comfort
The gossip will start
And more time with me they will spend
I won’t have cats
Because ewww they are cats
But be careful to step over the dogs
Their stomachs so full
I’m sure they won’t move
They’ll be passed out
And sleeping like logs
I’ll pretend I can’t hear
And my whispers will be loud
So loud to be heard throughout the room
Then I’ll whisper about people
The arrogant sort
And the ones I believe are bafoons
All the kids will love me
Because of what I keep hidden
To my bedroom they will often stray
Lemon drops and butterscotch will always be there
Hidden quite snuggly away
Oh let me be known as the lady of prayer
And the one that loves her Lord so
A relationship that started moons ago
And turned into
An eternal love affair
I’ll putter and piddle with things I find useful
I may learn to knit if I please
I’ll knit a blue scarf the bluest of blues
So on my motorcycle it will fly in the
b e z
r e ~
e ~ ~
~ ~ ~
~
I mean was Darwin thinking when he wrote this theory
When I studied Psychology and read this I said O’ dear me
Only the strong shall survive was his point
I think on this subject his jaw was out of joint
Observing two similar birds with different beaks
Saying that’s evolution is evident as I speak
Well here I go again, a myth buster at his best
To show this dude Darwin didn’t put the theory to the test.
I have one example that blows holes in it
Even Darwin will raise his hands and say “Sid you got me beat”
Hear we go:
Once again :-)
Have you ever seen a female dog when she’s on heat
To the male dogs this is a treat
They line up be hind her according to strength
As they patiently wait to make love to this wench
But then a strange thing happens the strongest mut
Is faced with a challenge which is a make or bust
And while they size each other and start to brawl
The others run away leaving one that is scrawny and small
The small one approaches her and doesn’t even have the audacity to give her a sniff
He just climbs up and gives her the stiff
And after his finished and has done the deed
You expecting a through breed, the end product is a mongrel cross breed
So when you meet a skinny man with coke bottle glasses and a comb over
Just think “no such thing as natural selection and the best is scrawny Rover”
This is the best that you’ll ever get
And the love will be the best I bet
And as I tuck myself in and before I switch off the light
All I have to say ladies and gentleman is good night
Good Breeding
by Rick Rucker
Has love always been?
And if not, when
Did it come to be,
Was it just recently?
Maybe better if I'd seek
Why it makes our knees so weak.
Is it merely our vanity,
That causes this insanity?
Is it necessary for mankind
To become dumb and blind
Disregarding not only nationality,
But seemingly all rationality!
Would we not stay together
Were it not for the tether
Of the death that lets us live
The curse that can take, and give!
If you had a choice,
Would say “Yes,” and rejoice,
Or maybe grumble “Nay,”
Quickly turn, and run away?
Perhaps it is a matter
If a man, then the latter?
Women must be more committed,
Men can be so “nitwitted.”
If we waited to have men
Decide to want kids, then
We would cease to be a nation,
Gone in a generation.
Guys all think it won't be tidy
When they have to change a “didy.”
Forgetting that theirs were changed,
History is re-arranged
Perhaps for love there was a need,
So that men would heed
Their feelings for women, forgetting heirs,
So that they will stay as pairs.
Love may yet save the planet,
Too bad that we can't can it,
Without love, the man's creed:
Don't stay long, and do not breed!
Love can make that obsolete,
Love can make him a partner sweet,
Love can show it's not too bad,
To be addressed as “Dad.”
This is a true story, I was told, when I was six years old,
Mama’s words were always colourful and bold.
However, for you I will water down, the sexual scenes and vulgarity,
This may make the truth seem far from reality.
Mama said it took place on the edge of an African jungle, near the sea,
She witnessed two lovers making love under an amarula tree.
This was no ordinary pair,
That why she stood there with an awe of a stare.
One could not fathom how these two could be in love,
But as you know it, what’s joint together could be ordained from above.
A great big female elephant with her spouse,
A fluffy grey and white mouse.
While making love, doing their biz,
A monkey stared curiously and started to quiz.
“This Love affair should have not lasted this long.”
“An elephant and a mouse, making love is wrong.”
So the monkey threw coconuts causing the elephant wail in pain”
The mouse smiles and says, “I have the tendency to drive girls insane”.
Well the moral of the story my mama says is not hid.
It is that for every pot there is a lid.
So for thirty years I’ve had a pot as a wife,
She don’t give me trouble, or strife
People tend to gossip and stare
Which has ruined somewhat my social life.
You may think I’m Mad or Insane, you may be right.
Read the others and have a good night.
'Tis said that God loves all His creatures great and small.
Here are just a few of them - I can't begin to name them all!
He loves us one and all the whole world wide from A to Z!
His steadfast love is extended to all including a sinner like me!
God loves atheists, alcoholics, bootleggers, bums and Baptists -
Bailiffs, Catholics, conservatives, coopers and capitalists -
Doctors, dentists, democrats, extortionists and Eskimos -
Farmers, fishermen, golfers, generals and hypochondros!
He loves harlots, hypocrites, infidels, judges and jackasses -
Kings, kooks, lawyers, Lutherans, liberals and lasses -
Marines, Methodists, nerds, nurses, oracles and optometrists -
Presbyterians, politicians, poets, pilots and proctologists!
God loves Quakers, quacks, riveters, radicals and ragmen -
Republicans, rednecks, ranchers, reporters and raftsmen -
Sailors, Santa, scholars, scientists, sinners and scouts -
Thieves, tithers, teachers, taxmen, tradesmen and touts!
He loves unbelievers, veterans, villains and ventriloquists -
Widows, xenophobes, Yankees, yuppies and zoologists!
With so many folks to cherish, oft I wonder how it could be,
That He takes the time to love poor insignificant me!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Pancakes, Waffles, Eggs Benedict...
When I look at the menu I am in conflict.
But breakfast menus are so hard to take,
As sometimes I just want something that's baked.
A Pecan Roll would be nice right now,
Whoever came up with that idea, anyhow?
And of course there's the bacon, ham, sausage and the like,
That's the word I have for all of them...just what I "LIKE".
Oh, I love to eat and have a good time to be sure,
That's what made my body so hard to cure.
Those extra helpings and side dishes all,
Have put the pounds on, even though I am tall.
And try to get rid of them..."Oh, give me a break".
As I look at the Fruit Plate that I am tempted to take.
But the menus have no place for a disciplined face,
As line by line, I read them and taste.
Succulent foods are what I crave,
Looking at a menu, I have to behave.
Because I could eat a lot with my eyes you see,
Room in my stomach, there just wouldn't be.
So I choose carefully when ordering my food,
I want something tasty, satisfying, and good.
And when I am full I will venture to make,
That little gesture...about the "Doggy Bag" I'll take.
Oh, I shouldn't have stated my love of food with such hope,
Because I'll have only words to eat...here on the Soup!
I love to dance,
But her feet still hurt,
I guess I kind of keep stepping on her shoes.
I love to gamble,
But I am no good at it,
Sometimes I win, but always I loose.
I love to golf,
But I am a real hacker,
My scores would be worse if I counted all of my strokes.
I love to laugh,
But I cannot remember,
Punch lines when I repeat most of the jokes.
I love to sing,
But I can’t carry a tune,
My wife leaves the bathroom when I’m taking a shower.
I love to read,
But I fall asleep,
If I sit down with a book for more than an hour.
I love to drive,
But I always get lost,
Turning around is something that I will not do.
I love watching movies,
But hate interruptions,
So please don’t talk to me until it is through.
I love the water,
But I always sink,
I guess I never really learned how to swim.
I love being fit,
But too often I’m lazy,
I never can seem to find time for the gym.
I love to talk,
But my vocabulary is limited,
Big words and synonyms I often forget.
I love lots of things,
But there’s always some reason,
Why I haven’t found the one thing I’m real good at yet.
I’d love to be a model
Tall and thin like Jerry Hall
But I like fish and chips too much
And I’m only five feet tall
I’d love to be a dancer
With poise, and style, and grace
But I was born with two left feet
And would end up flat on my face
I’d love to be a climber
Scaling mountains in one single bound
But I get dizzy in high heels
So I’d best keep my feet on the ground
I’d love to be an athlete
With medals of gold on my chest
But it takes all my breath, to run a bath
So relaxing at home is best
I’d love to be a painter
And have works of art hanged in great halls,
But the only paint that I can use
Is emulsion you slop onto walls
I’d love to be an actress
Starring on the silver screen
But with my memory, I’d forget the script
“What was I saying?” – see what I mean
I’d love to be an explorer
Through untamed jungles I’d caper
But I love the luxuries of life
Like hot baths, and toilet paper!
I’d love to be a poet
And write my own anthology
But that’s just another pipe dream
So I’ll have to be, just me.
"Do you promise to always cherish?"
I said, "Yes til death do us part"
For I knew this would never change
Down deep inside my heart
For I've waited for this moment
Since I was old enough to care
And It was time to take the step
Building the memories we would share
I'm not like the other guys
I wouldn't settle for second best
For this is the one I've waited for
And the others were just the rest
I knew she'd never betray me
Nor ever let be down
For there is no greater love on earth
Than the one that I had found
My friends were all so envious
Of this special love affair
I knew they couldn't help themselves
When all they'd do was stare
I could sit for hours each day
And admire her stunning beauty
I would give her all the love I had
For I knew this was my duty
My happiness was her purpose for living
For this reason she was made for me
And I will always be forever in love
With my 52 inch big screen tv