Freddy got left in Mexico after Day of the Dead
A celebration that kept the streets wild and red
The music was the best ever the critics said
But here is Freddy, looking for his grave bed
How did you get here? A trucker asked Freddy
I am not sure, he said, but I thought I was ready
Do you have any idea where you are buried my friend?
I think somewhere in Ohio, maybe Turn around bend
flimflam Freddy, Frankenville’s only funeral director
actively sought out numbskulls, dimwits and nitwits
an expert in cajoling them into signing contracts
assuring them that their funerals would be exquisite
he verbally mentioned doves, orchestra, and magic shows
none of this was in the contract they signed
a contract that guaranteed nothing
a contract that assured him of unbelievable amounts of money
funerals that cost others six thousand,
cost these nimb-nuts twenty thousand
in teeny tiny print it mentioned that additional expenses might be incurred
and they were
yummy banana, tasty banana.
eat 10,000 at once, die.
yummy banan, testy banarn.
heving srokke.
heel pme.
10,000 bannn kil u frm pot as yum.
skadoosh!
Based on Frosty The Snowman
Freddy the mailman is just out on parole
He did the crime and served his time
For all that mail he stole
Now Freddy is back as Christmas bells chime
Freddy the mailman is now a con man people say
He charms the ladies with words sweet as honey
Deceiving them in every way
Before he steals their money
But there must have been some buckshot in
The gun old Sally had
For when he tried to steal her loot
She blasted him, the cad
Written By: D. Collins 9/17/24
Petty Freddy's a man no child would want to be.
Void of selflessness and human morality.
Stuck on stupid because it is all about him.
May be why wifey doesn't travel to Wisconsin.
This is as clear as day, without stating names.
And, for his infidelity he gave Biden the blame.
Can you see a Petty Freddy doing anything right?
Like coming with something to enhance your life?
They do "childless cat ladies" to "eating dogs and cats".
Pimp-smacked and locked-down when it comes to facts.
I am no expert, but when it's all said and done.
Ya'll will feel me because I grew up with one.
Freddy Farkle, fumbling forecaster for Forestville,
friggin' fudged Friday forecast....fair?!
first florid felicitous, falling flurries followed,
froze flowers, foiled!
faraway farmhouse, furrowing farmland,
frigid fanny, furious, frustrated,
frumpy, frazzled!
furry forest friends furnished flannel frock,
finding Freddy's fails funny, frivolity,
fortunately frequent fallible forecasts
found Freddy flying faraway,
fallaciously forecasting for fermented folks!
I felt like Freddy in My Fair Lady today
Said the young lad who had a glorious day
In the window was his crush, Miss Ida Mae.
She batted her eyes, and he decided to stay
Look at this trick he said, climbing the post.
She giggled at him, not caring that this was a boast.
You are such a Freddy! He thought to himself.
Big deal said her daddy, a mushroom-loving elf.
Freddy Mercury's iconic pose captured forever
London lost out on negotiations
bronze statute now in Montreux Switzeland
Home of Mountain Studios
Where he recorded seven albums
including Made in Heaven
There once was a man named Freddy
he worked very hard and steady
his battery wore out
recharged in the blackout
now he’s Freddy Never Ready
I would like to pull him out of heaven for a day.
Let him know how much he has done for each and every gay.
I would tell him how much we still admire him so.
I would hold on to him tightly, trying to never let him go.
I would ask him if Queen was to make fun of THE Queen?
I would ask him how he grew confidence of a lion clearly seen.
He would get himself loose and preen around like a peacock.
I would be proud that I knew him, the new star of my block.
I would admire his white short shorts, and his pretty white wings.
I would tell him about Adam Lambert, and the songs that he sings.
I would assure him that he changed the world, made it better.
If he could not come down to see me, I would write him a letter.
Oh Freddy ,
Freddy my buddy
you haunt my dreams,
and you play the violin
you sit on my couch,
wearing a bloody pouch
you giggle and you creek,
all your wooden little teeth
your buckle is black,
and a button you lack.
It pours acid rain,
when you run through my drains
your fingers they're cold,
as they choke me with their hold
your eyes they roll,
as you creep and you crawl
you chuckle and you mumble,
while you chop and you grumble
you growl a nasty howl,
standing behind a towel.
oh Freddy with machete,
don't cut up Miss Nelly!
13-10-19
Give Me Your Best New Poem
Sponsored by: Emile Pinet
Most astronomers gaze up at the stars
But Freddy took pretty women to bars --
He'd get in big brawls
Crash into brick walls --
When he came to, he'd have sworn he saw Mars
Freddy Frog flipped hopped on
punned to pond on and on
No more sudden leap to milk-moon
Broken limbs and ache moist June
Freddy Frog's fantasies now fanatics, fun
The Job For Freddy
Tying knots was the job for Freddy
It didn't pay much, but was steady
Early to work
He would not shirk
I guess you'd call that knot ready!
The Freddy, the Twist, the HitchHiker too
60’s dances I love so.
Never dreaming they’d die.
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