THIS WAS THEN, THIS IS NOW
Pink for a girl; blue for a boy,
Was how we dressed our new bundles of joy.
It was easy to tell a lass from a fellah,
But now we have to dress them in yellah.
It used to be simple to know for sure
What gender they were; but not any more.
They’ll decide for themselves in later life,
Whether to be a husband or wife.
The midwife, when spotting the relevant bit,
Has to say to the mother, “You have an it.”
There was no such confusion when Adam met Eve
And she tempted him with a juicy James Grieve.
The difference between them was plain to see.
For he had one fig leaf and she had three.
Terrifying threats hang over Israel from Iran
That Ayotollah Mullah Fellah sure can bellow
In the end, Israel will expose him
~ as yellow
NOT ON THE LIST
I assumed the mantle of an entitled snob
Pushing toward the bouncer in a tuxedo
Some bruiser of a guy, but it’s just a job
I suspect that he had an unsatisfied libido
Patting down the girls for guns and stuff
But I wonder, why does it affect me so
After a few minutes I had seen enough
I stepped forward with my clenched fist
Hoping after all, that he wasn’t so tough
He smiled that satisfied grin and hissed
Sorry old fellah, you’re not on the list
My nurse got in touch
I did not expect much
from my medical results she had seen,
but on one thing I failed,
Cholesterol off the scale
which was bad news for little old me.
She just sat there quiet,
I reeled off my diet,
red meat, lots of eggs,dairy stuff,
not much veg in the range
she demanded a change,
though not keen
lots more greens,
fair enough.
I can't overstate it,
you name it, I ate it,
as long as it grew from the ground,
my mood became petulant,
gut rather flatulent,
but gradually lost a few pounds.
One more round of blood letting,
nurse no longer fretting,
the numbers down, now she was pleased,
I'm one happy fellah,
so I ( please don't tell her)
celebrated with a burger and cheese.
Underneath the red umbrella,
my Johnny stole a kiss from me,
so I felt like Cinderella,
for like a handsome prince was he.
Despite the cold, I melted when
underneath the red umbrella,
Johnny gazed into my eyes; then
whispered softly, “You’re my bella.”
Oh, the kiss from that sweet fellah!
Although the rain kept falling down,
underneath the red umbrella,
deep love is what would make me drown.
Romance cut short – though filled with bliss -
just didn't fill a novella.
Yet I cannot forget that kiss
underneath the red umbrella.
Nov. 7, 2018 for Eve Roper's Red Umbrella Poetry Contest
Before you say 'yes' to a fellah,
who's charmed you with tales of himself
take a look at the inside of his microwave
and especially the fridge bottom shelf.
Poor old Guido Fawkes who was born up in York
fought in Spain, rebel flame there was lit
and though it is known as the 'eighty year's war'
when he came back he hadn't aged a bit.
With Wintour and Catesby , they all hatched a plot
to send all of our MP's to hell
and only Lord knows if
with all that explosive
with more luck it would have gone well.
Fawkes heard people coming
who were checking the plumbing, their footsteps were near ,
and much louder.
Instead of the rats and occasional cat, they found
several tons of gunpowder.
And trapped in the cellar that unlucky fellah
no chance of receiving a pardon,
midst the hot dogs and beer
is punished each year
on a bonfire in my neighbour's garden.
and I walked along Hai Ba Trung looking
for peace and reconciliation but only found
whores and foodsellers
and the former shouted,"come in sir!",
and the latter spilt grease on to the sidewalk
and paid no attention the the swayers
so I shouted back, "please no I'm gay",
hoping my lie would send them away
and a long-legged gal shouted back,
that's OK fellah,"I,m ladyboy Lou
(and a look that said I wouldn't have
to pay)
so I sloped away with my morality
between my legs and the thought of
a cold beer with a view to the street
We held hands together, you and me
Gliding through a words of Sea
Slipping and soaring,
Lying beneath the metaphors of life.
A rhythmic cry of pain and bliss;
Entangled hearts, eternal pulsating love
A surreal moment signifies rejuvenation
Gentle transformation churning my soul
Living in a dream, gliding like a stream
Do we part? Nah good fellah
In me is you!
I’m one hell of a guy
You should give me a try
I’m the kind you
Could take home to mother
I can fix anything
With a nail and some string
And I really am
Quite a good lover
I’m a nice king of fellah
And I’d like to tell ya
I’m nothing at all
Like my brother
I am clever and smart
And I have a good heart
And you’ll find I’m
An excellent lover
I’m a wonderful bloke
Now this isn’t a joke
I’m a man quite unlike
Any other
I am sweet I am kind
And I’m certain you’ll find
I am such
An incredible lover
So if you feel that way
And you want me to play
Just ring up
And give me a call
I’ll be with you tout suite
For I’m dying to meet
And I’m certain that
You'll have a ball
Pie and mash, pie and mash
Loads of nosh for not much cash
Warms yer cockles fills you up
Wash it down with a good strong cup
Pour the Sarsons in the pie
Come on fellah don’t be shy
Loads of liquor, lovely stuff
Us cockney lads can’t get enough
It’s Cockney grub for Cockney boys
Come on people make some noise
Forget about those fancy fings
Pie and mash is fit for Kings
So if you want some grub that’s filling
And only costs a coupla shilling
To the pie shop you must dash
Grab yourself some pie and mash
I relate to you,
my tale,
It is heart warming ,
that you heard it,
Can you do something about it,
you are not judge,advocate,
or a man on scene,
you know what I want,
and what I have not got,
you also know how I have not got,
that I wanted bad,
Can you do something about it,
my fellah,
yes my common next door fellah,
Weigh you propensity,
to help out,
and work to fill in the want,
if you can fill in even a portion,
you have done abit for heavenly mention.
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