A man once loved to fart
And freely expressed the art
But if you do
You’ll probably poo
So it’s better not to start.
MOA
Hyunsung Bang
Dot dot dot—everywhere.
Confusion, yet order.
Something rises in the noise,
As blurry as it gets,
but no one can name it.
The Bird Water Whistle
Rendition # twenty one
------------------------------------
he don't think people like him
by; Ya'll and Them
__________________________________
She say slurp
I say slurp
we say slurp
then we sing slurp, slurp
slurp
slurp
slurp
slurp
slurp
slurp
slurp, slurp!
slurp!
Slurp!
Slurp!
Slurp
Slurp, slurp
Slurp!
(applaued, Bravo, Bravo!)
The man in the elevator farted,
He mocked us, not knowing sharts departed.
The stench was like a salmon left to rot—
Provoking our anger was all he sought.
Trapped in the foul-smelling elevator,
He begged a shirt from a sneering waiter.
Refused, a dame gave four menstrual pads—
He wore them proud, a banner for the lads.
Another kind woman gave him a skirt,
Still, that skirt got stained with a little squirt.
He would have claimed Scottish, had we not known—
We wish good toilet manners he’d have shown.
The man in the elevator farted,
The smell was like a rotten salmon fish,
He mocked everyone as the gas parted,
Since provoking our anger was his wish.
Alas, he stained his white pants with his mess,
He couldn't leave the smelly elevator,
Yet he needed a toilet to access,
He begged a shirt from a nearby waiter.
He refused because of his bad manners,
A woman gave him four menstrual pads,
That he used as a protective banner—
Like young children, he turned it to a fad.
Another kind woman gave him a skirt,
Had we not known, he would have claimed Scottish,
Still the skirt was stained with a little squirt,
We wish his foul manners he'll abolish.
There is nothing dainty about my wind
It lifts me out of my chair said old man Flynn
He rocks the house and the garage interjected his wife
I just let them rip, he agreed, thus, I have no strife.
Ahhhhhhhh, sweet relief.
If only evil
could JUST be
as easily expelled.
Friendly
Aroma
Refencing
Turds
Could there be anything sweeter,
than our little dog named Fartina,
I wanted to see less of wretched in-laws,
they no longer come over because,
the gaseous funky green cloud,
emitting from Fartina makes me so proud.
I dare say we no longer have mice,
who now stay outdoors, how nice.
When Fartina goes to the vet,
it's a sure bet-
the leery vet techs yell, "Fartina's here!"
and the snooty lady in the waiting room
with the poodle holds her nose, oh dear!
At our family birthday party,
Fartina decided to get frankly, farty.
Our guests were all in a dither,
their faces crinkled, then quivered.
Til, lo and behold, a knock on the door,
pesky political solicitors once more!
Well, lovely Fartina took care of that-
a silent savage air biscuit commenced,
and our unwelcome visitors quickly
vaulted over the fence.
These days bad news travels fast,
but the flatulent antics of Fartina
makes laughter last. ~
Can't believe I'm penning this mess,
but I must address the gifted poetess,
Jan Allison has a degree from the
distinguished Poot-Toot University,
she has a PhD in Fartology.
An expert she is,
and, gee whiz,
anyone who writes of farts
so funnily,
is the "Queen of Flatulence,"
a PoetrySoup decree!
And yes, I know some are offended
by potty humor,
but we need comic relief in
the literary til we laugh ourselves
into a stupor,
as this world has much strife,
even if it's gaseous,
laughter heals life. ~
Stupid people have no idea how stupid they really are
so if you’re determined to argue with stupid I guarantee you won’t get far
for what they can’t see will never be but they will argue from the heart
you’re using logic against their emotions the argument’s miles apart
they make it personal turn round reverse your hole walk away after you fart!
Dumpers
The gal with the **** cannon
Let’s one rip a right good fart
You can smell it from here
It smells of baked beans
And mushy peas plus cabbage
I wonder what it’s like
When she takes a dump?
If fart could kill, many of my obsessed fans would have already died following my butt wherever it goes.
September 1, 2023
Once upon a time there was a big fart
Who wanted to show that he was so smart
But people just would not bite
Even though he thought he's bright
For his fart tricks were always out of art
1st place
There once was a young man named Rig
his rectum two sizes too big
whenever he farted
his two cheeks they parted
expelling a fireworks fizgig
The fizgig it fizzled and hissed
as it came through out of the mist
we spluttered and we gagged
as on the fizgig dragged
and now we were thoroughly pissed
Rig laughed and muttered, “I’m sorry.
Passed as I stepped from the lorry.
The step was too high,”
he said with a sigh,
“of getting back in, I’m charry!”
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