I Heart My Stool Chart

I have to admit I’ve got a confession About my unhealthy obsession Other kids love pop stars with all their heart For me it’s the Bristol Stool chart There’s seven different types of poo With pictures that give me a clue to how long the poo’s been in my bowel Poos that’s both fresh and some that’s foul Each morning once I get out of bed For breakfast I’ll have brown bread The chart is a handy tool To identify your type of stool Now I’ve decided to tell You about the different poos that smell Cos it’s clear that the Bristol stool chart Can also indicate your type of fart Type 1 is as hard as a nut And stays longest in the gut Type 2 is a sausagy lump That’s hard to squeeze out your rump Then there’s types 3 and type 4 These are the poos I adore These are the poos I prefer to make A cracked sausage or smooth like a snake Types 5 and 6 are easier to pass Blobby or fluffy ones from your ass Type 7 is the worst of all It gushes like a waterfall So now you’ve got all the scoop On all the different types of poop I love identifying my poo and type of fart The Bristol Stool chart fills my heart