I write down the thoughts I need to say.
I say them and they don’t come out quite right,
They never do.
They look me up and down and left and right and they don't choose me.
Not even me.
I think and write all of the reasons why,
But i never can
Maybe because I talk too much,
Or I talk about myself too much,
Or maybe I was cocky that one day, even though I didn't mean to.
I don't understand.
“I have friends,
But I want more.
Ones that are real.”
That didn't come out right.
It sounded right when I wrote it.
Maybe that’s the reason they look me up and down and left and right…
Because they’re trying to see into me,
And they did.
Everything straight I am sure they can be
Picture frames off by a single degree
If off it is something I readily see
I’m uncertain why this is a bother to me
Stockings at Christmas hung all in row
The spacing is critical everyone knows
I put nails in the mantle to show where they go
Important to me that their place is just so
Items at dinner must be in their place
If not a straight line it would be a disgrace
The salt and the pepper then candle stick base
Butter and yes everything cause such distaste
A car parked just barely between the white lines
I don’t understand why to some it seems fine
To find something spaced that is plainly misaligned
It gives me such trembles that race down my spine
I’ve heard them suggest that mine is a disorder
They say I am obsessed if so just on the border
Compulsive I say not I’m just a bit smarter
To see disarray and bring all into order
All in all I say that I’m a fine guy
Perhaps a bit quirky I cannot deny
My positive spirit asks let this go by
But place things in order I so wish you would try
I was asked who I thought was my worst enemy
I hate to admit to admit but it just might be me
Sun reflect—
soporific effect
of sultry, languorous afternoon.
A photo album, open in an attic room,
of my family and dear friends gone all too soon.
Phantasmagorically fey—
gallimaufry in stray
disarray.
i opened the door to my stale heart
and much to my dismay
found there was much
room for improvement
AP: 1st place 2025, 2nd place 2025, Front Page Pick 2025
Who now can find lost love,
In a world grown cold and gray?
Hearts once tender, bruised and bare,
Turned to ash in disarray.
Eyes turned to the sky,
Seeking solace in the stars,
But the heavens hold their silence,
Bound by time's eternal scars.
Then comes night, its velvet shroud,
Draping all in quiet despair,
While ocean waves and the restless sea
Sing their lament in the salted air.
Rivers and streams wind through the land,
Whispering tales of bygone years,
But the bushes and trees stand mute,
Heavy with unwept tears.
The age of hate has scorched the earth,
A barren field where love once grew.
Yet still, the breeze stirs faint and soft,
A fragile hope, a seed anew.
Who now can find lost love?
Perhaps the sky, the sea, the earth,
Together whisper of rebirth.
Strands of hairs on floors galore,
Papers and rags strewn over the tables,
Clothes on the sofa seats,hung on the chairs,
Cobwebs and spiders on the ceilings and walls,
Moldy food and vegetables in the kitchen,
Odors emanating from the washroom,
Cars dusty,air inside impure,
Courtyards and surroundings unkempt for days,
Garbage from the house dumped at the roadside,
Thrown on the drains, rills and rivers,
Perfumes and beauty products everywhere
I can’t fit inside this lock
I can’t fit inside this sock
This hole is not meant for me
Body stretching out from me
Out of sync
Misshapen link
Wash the ink out in the sink
You went day and I went night
I went left and you went right
And everything just looks so wrong
I don’t understand this song
I am way beyond repair
My liver’s pulling at my hair
My neck is biting at my tongue
My leg is choking out my lung
My hands are fighting with my heart
My pieces mixing with my parts
I’m a jumble mumbled mess
An uneducated guess
I went no and you went yes
You went more and I went less
All tied up and all stretched out
I got lupus I got gout
I don’t fit into this mold
I’m too hot and I’m too cold
I’m lopsided and askew
You went red and I went blue
I went one and you went two
And I don’t know what I should do
Fool me once and fool me thrice
But now I’m chewing on the dice
Rattle brains and saddle lice
Grip my shoulder in a vice
Two thirds left and halfway done
Three makes ten and nine makes one
Now you’ve got me all confused
Now I can’t fit in these shoes
I think that I went too long
I think that I went too long
A cynical never asks himself,
" How a miracle can ever happen when everybody
goes on without faith through their hopeless day? "
I attest this truth with disbelief!
Faithful can pray constantly with bowed head,
hoping God listened to their plea to all spoken words;
how disappointed they are when nothing ever happens:
and amid disarray they their hope turns cold!
Nobody understand how favor is imparted fairly,
God chooses the ones deserving His endless mercy;
the angry preacher with a harsh voice condemns sinners
who don't cleanse their souls with any repenting tears!
Look for drastic signs that foretell events to come,
be ready for what can and will change Man's destiny;
God's word is unbreakable, his promise declares love:
believers are patient and profess their faith devotedly!
A Threat of W A R
So weep, dear world, as
The bear advances.
The bear with his trainer named Putin,
Loved by none, now not even his own.
So end your roar, dear bear!
As Putin thrills to cause disarray,
Loving his terror — that weapon
He’s loosed again, yet again —
On the world’s lesser…
His finger on a trigger,
Making the world tremble…
Against all sense, all reason,
Whipping the bear forward
Out of his rest,
Resisting, but
Still tromping forward, growling
And the world wailing.
Stay struggling, dear world,
To keep the mystery of peace working
Against more than a war to end all wars:
A war in these days, which would become
A war to end our world.
———————————————————
(c) sally young Eslinger 1/24/22
Disarray, from lack of focus
Stupor, our enemy
Bliss energised, love our locus
Ushers serenity
Gravity pulls us down
Our smile replaced by frown
To be childlike - a clown
Blue skies grey
Disarray
16-September-2021
Quietus
As the sun slowly sinks from sight
shapeless shadows morph into Dusk;
as silhouettes silently merge,
amidst the mosquitoes and bats.
Attracted by Dusk's dimming light,
moths, creatures of the night, take flight.
Luna rises into the sky
gilding the clouds in the heavens;
while the Milky Way spills its light,
across the emptiness of space.
Divinely placed, stars mystify,
while at the same time, beautify.
Sol bleeds at the birth of each day;
inking ebony skies crimson
and white clouds, cotton-candy pink.
And Dawn pierces the heart of night
leaving darkness in disarray,
as shifting shadows slip away.
as you sit there
absorbing the calming rays of the morning sun
you read
and then realize how chaotic disarray is attempting to make love with harmony
in a world of insanity
while influencing your mind
during those moments in time
you interpret the “informative news”
as a need to amalgamate absurdities
with solutions for serenity
while initially resisting wishes and temptations of conformity
in your mind
during those moments in time
and then s l o w ly
you are confused by intellectual absurdities
losing clarity and sanity
and sometimes becoming a victim of hypocrisy
falling head first into the world’s quicksand of misery
which wants to swallow up your mind
during those moments in time
~~~
My old homeplace was left to deteriorate
A shambles of disarray showing it’s elderly state
Porch and door gray and weary from the years
Of wind and storm flailing their bitter beams
Ferns grow haphazardly along the garden edge
Whispers of disrepair shadowing the staircase
Making everything appear dismal and worn
Humbled house that was once my lovely home
Vines cling to the roof and I see a rosette smiling
Softly forming the illusion of charm along the gray
Dingy boards that were once painted with a joy
That filled up the site with pretty pictures of hope
Melancholy broods as I peep through a window
Losing my composure amid the apathy of chaos
That was once my dream come true, my heart
Singing songs of inspiration that has changed to
Verses of disorder and dismay due to the decay
Of this once happy place where I was raised
~~~
Decaying House Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Constance La France
July 14, 2020
Light cuts through the cold and discord
springing to life a sense of peace,
of sun
where time got lost somehow
and we forgot how to see
it's been too long since I felt your warmth
flush upon my cheeks
your catepiliar lashes
batting at my every move
oxygen stoking your romantic stares
my apprehensions left to disappear
I'm preparing to go the distance
dicing my way through the desert of despair
just to run these wrinkled fingers
upon your flowing hair
the mirror mists as my blood runs
down a three day gruff
the blades bark and nip
at a faceless face
weary of a human race
lost, a will to run
into the fires
Hades won't win
as lying is just another sin
radiant you shine upon my window
naked, I'm ready
to take you in
BLESSED DISARRAY!
There’s one thing that’s assured in this physical world
More than death and taxation so physicists say
It’s the increase in entropy, time unfurled
Or in other words there will be more disarray
Now I’m not being morbid asserting this fact
(Only true without man sticking long finger in)
And there are some of us with compulsion to act
And resist ineluctable chaos and spin
But imagine the converse some might choose to hold
Each atom in total controlled and neat stack
Every instant with utter precision pre-told
And announced in a modern Old Moore’s Almanac
There are days when we feel: Just a moment! Hold on!
Could I have some more predictability sure
I’ve enough of this chaos so let it be gone
And I’ll live more like my perfect neighbour next door
But then what of the thrill when we once get it right
No not every time; that’s for slaves not the free
The uncertainty principle kept in our sight
Will give us some relief from that old ennui
So join with me to now go forth boldly and say
That perfection unlimited with no adverse
And no portion of spices of disarray
That alternate bland menu could be but a curse
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