A squeaky wheel gets the grease,
but a sneaky fox gets the geese -
will wonders never cease?
A rolling stone gathers no moss,
but only if he uses dental floss -
I am at a loss!
The early bird catches the worm,
but dies from a food-poisoning germ -
It makes my stomach squirm!
A confused old man wonders why
the old rules don't seem to apply.
It makes me want to cry!
Each instructive allegory,
each proverb in the inventory,
tells a different story.
Broccoli crowns and carrot sticks
removed by dental floss and toothpicks
Popcorn, peanuts and caramel corn
leave my teeth like newborns'
The crocodile smile is such a pretty sight
as the Egyptian Plover keeps his teeth
pearly white and shiny bright
"Open wide," are words heard from the bird
his dental hygienist who picks and pecks
then eats the meaty spicks and specks
and as the crocodile sheds old choppers
(no tears)
so the avian's not unemployed or at a loss
the croc constantly grows new gnashers
for his new-found feathered friend to floss
What I liked about him was this:
He was cotton candy on some days
And dental floss on others —
A guilty pleasure, sweet and light
Or wholesome, fresh breath to set a day right
We're so underappreciated
You'd think we're in-laws
Yet without us you could have
The most powerful set of jaws
Yet it'd be nigh impossible
To chew, eat or swallow
If you dared pose for a selfie
You'd make sure not to smile
We're your Teeth, top and bottom
And you're just clowning around
If you think there's no benefit
To having us Crowned
Save the exorbitant expense
of toothpaste and toothbrush
of mouthwash and dental floss
~ all driving your budget
deep underground
i read
it said
7,000
seven
thousand
votes
voted
to sell
the state
Montana
the buyer
being where
not to beware
friendly folks
lots of beavers
legalized marijuana
wanted to move
anyway
to
Canada
a lifetime
vacation
get away
give away
away from
it all
but where
would Zappa
grow
dental floss
Th' Crick is dryin’ Up.
Ah got this Stick, ah call a Tree, stuck in th' mud:
Decorated it with dental floss, well za could
‘Cause there’s so much of the stuff in the dead weeds out back
An’ th’ Tree pret’ near always stays stuck there, ‘cept for when a strong wind blows up.
That little mud tea trickle that remains a’ the Crick, ah call ‘Trump Soup’.
Goals & Dreams
Written: by Miracle Man
2/1/2019
Goals & Dreams are objectives internally decreed,
We must revisit both daily, if we're apt to succeed.
We can't be “A rolling stone that gathers no moss,”
And we can't suspend either on flimsy dental floss.
Any tepid effort provides opportunity to thwart,
This type of campaign and of our goals we fall short.
Goals & dreams must transcend musing intent,
But for them to perish we must first cede consent.
Alabaster body of truth
got buried beneath
a dung-key pile of swastika lies
SWAT teams of fascist oppression
swarm the polling places
like hieroglyphic Dead Sea flies
Democracy is locked in a closet,
and minority tears are sorrow overflowing
from a false premise reel faucet
For a few rubles more,
Balaam poli sighs bite their tongue
and don’t say a word
As voting rights get trashed,
Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima voices
never lever get heard
Tongue suppressor is an 'ol ancient Pharaoh trick;
dental floss over the facts,
say freedom diabetes tis how the patient got sick
Sugar coat the ballot Cain process,
put a chocolate high poll tax
to gain pure vanilla power access
Play the cerulean bugle blueberry call of the wild,
tap out the bank accounts in gangsta gutter style
While the cherry cheeks smile ...
knowing that the empty elector jingle reign sound,
from the tongue suppressor vice techniques,
will keep the mute prisoners of hope tightly bound
Do Not Play with Plaque
We prefer that you do not play with plaque,
Or much more decay soon may come back;
Even if your gums and skin are both porous,
Come to dentist office and join their chorus.
They there become monitor and regulator;
Did use both dental floss and a stimulator;
Breathing fresh air is the best substance;
Bad breath brings on much repugnance.
Before magnificent mornings pass us by,
Brush all beautiful teeth am sure to try;
Perfect example like to and always set;
Love at first sight when dentist we met.
Same to assistants and receptionist applied;
For all of their support have heavily relied;
So each morning mouth wakes up smiling,
And now my nice teeth am never defiling.
Do brush up and down and sideways to;
Between teeth floss through and through,
And then in the end you can hardly wait,
To use gum massager before we masticate.
Mouths do exceed each standard and form;
Dentist said set and established a new norm;
On our teeth, actions control ware and tare;
Shiny and still look gorgeous everywhere.
James Thesarious Hilarious
Retired Veteran and Poet
https://www.poetrysoup.com/member_area/edit_my_poem.aspx?PoemID=710531
At the drug store, what to choose?
All those choices do confuse.
Vitamins for gals or men?
Over 50? Pick again!
DayQuil, NyQuil, ZzQuil or
Generic ones made by the store?
Tablets, caplets, maybe gels?
Wonder which one better sells.
Dental floss in mint or plain?
Waxed or unwaxed? What a pain!
Lotions for your winter itch
Look the same, so which is which?
I’m exhausted when I leave
Even though I do believe
Products with a different name,
Though hyped as best, are all the same!
Teeth Hit the Floor
So they say you're standing in the rain
With your big brain being driven insane
By something appearing to be rather odd;
To California, they moved old Cape Cod.
Then on me my dentist did a number
Now two front teeth look like a cucumber
And at the whole office everyone did give
To see if each other they both would outlive.
Odd things, irregularities and a beating pool
All together have produced many a fool
I'm still learning what dental floss is for
First time I used it, my teeth hit the floor.
Sure seems to require a lot of lot
Before Dentist will start in hot pursuit
Of a slimy cavity spreading tooth to tooth
Enforcing my idea that it is uncouth.
And to you a dentist sure can sock it
When they say you can pay out of pocket
And another thing, did discover that IT
Really represents and stands for Integrity.
Now if your warning system starts out early
Miss hearing and might find gates that are pearly
And if in dentist chair and feeling rambunctious
Smile might become sumptuous and scrumptious.
Before any poor patient should hear any of this
Always make sure your appointment don't miss
And mouth with teeth full of cavities can be
No longer in site and now part of history.
Let me know if you like it. They say
you have to try it first though. They
must be talking about tooth brushes,
dental floss and a flaming desire to
take care of your teeth. Oh, and make
sure you are sitting down alone when
you are reading this. Jim Horn
let's start with a line and see where it leads
People like blood so I will make mine bleed
a zombie a chainsaw perhaps some bats
For good measure I'll throw in some black cats
I'm running out of ideas I think
Something is bad, it's a terrible stink
Have you heard the one, about the sparrow
He let loose excrement, on the Pharaoh
Oh what a horror, the bird felt so bad
The Pharoah in anger, yelled out egad
Archers at the ready, shot the bird down
Pharoah bit of wings, wore them on his gown
He fed the birdie to his own black cat
The cat so happy it meowed where it sat
Mummys and bats they make me want to scream
Most of the horrors come from my own dreams
Dancing disjointed, what do I have to loss
Bones I crunched, I removed with dental floss
Let's finish with a flurry, a mad dash
A horrible fungus, a scabby rash
Worst poem Contest
Eat a poppy bagel
And you’d sure be at a loss
If you did not have access to
A string of dental floss.
Toothpicks aren’t strong enough
To dig out all the seeds.
Dental floss, in mint or plain,
Is what a person needs.
You can tell the flossers
From the dental-flosser-nots;
The latter group, when smiling,
Will flash teeth with polka dots!
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