Best Dental Floss Poems
Toilet Bowl Committee (aka: Uptown Hood)
A lavatory confinement
my$h!tdontstinkcomode.com
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If you want to moderate this place, pick up the pace
From the mouth down to the @$$
Your so called kind has no class,
Fed by these political rejects, never elected for what was!
No matter,
They wipe their assets clean with our dreams
Forgetting to wipe their own toilet seats clean
Trying to make us feel dirtier than scat
Feeding off our paper when their toilet bowl water level is low
Toilet bowl PO-poes, wiping without dental floss
Missing everything in between reality
Trying to be kind, saying "One Day We'll Be Good Enough!"
Offering their Golden Plunger,
straight from the Home Depot shelves
No Thank You! My plunger a true gift from Mr. Wal-Mart himself
Next time you feel the need to offer a reference point
Please caption your name when you drop by,
Rinse thoroughly when speaking my name,
Then I will listen when you talk civilized
Correct my punctuations and spelling errors
The weakest trait you wear
You are no Prophet, just white tissue turning brown
Your Justification comes from old dry grapes falling from the vines
Ridicule will never give you the respect, for what you are!
We, the few poets from the hood,
overpower any change you offer Goodwill
Crumbling and flushing what does not meet your standards
Trying hard to force feed us soup, without giving us bibs
Thank you
Toilet Bowl Committee
For clogging up my drain with your bull$h!T
By: Keeping it Real (The Downtown Hood)
Date: 12-15-13
~*~
Tiger in a Cage (a stab at men)
Like a caged tiger.
You do not know what is in my den?
There is no worse feeling than the way I pace back and forth repeatedly.
A headless collar is all you see.
The closer I get, the more you seem to pretend.
To you these stripes look more like dots.
As you, continue to hold my lines and strands in your hand.
You stroke my stripes as if they were a loft of dental floss.
An ORANGE all squishy and rot.
Rough and tough!
You cannot peel what you cannot feel.
You do not know me at all?
You trust me.
You lace me.
You cannot describe the buds.
You cannot feel my fingertips.
A taste of nothing out of your lips.
Indian BLACK streaks in my skin.
How did you manage to even get in?
We mount this unspeakable stability.
A man-eater swallowing her growl.
This hunger is piercing throughout my veins.
Hiding the powerful black star sapphire in my eyes.
Every move I plan ricochets.
A tiger, a tiger in her cage.
Only in your world, I am my own prey.
My wildness is rarely found above my skin.
Every day I wear this heavy coat, my stripes continue to sink in.
It is a solitary confinement when you are around.
You cannot see the black diamonds under this unbearable frown.
Dingy claws, tapping……
Natures dew bestows a toneless mixture of orange and black tattoo.
These stripes, belittle my self-esteem.
The moon flashes overlapped our taboo.
Never will you see a tigers gleam.
Spirituality waiting to rise above the trees.
It is my choice, to stand behind these unbreakable twigs.
Fertilizing like pollen under a blanket of bees.
Still the effects of your eclipse, bounce off my wall.
I am telling you!
You don't know me at all?
The roads these loads continue to grow.
Far ahead, I am the gravel under your toes.
Crouching like a Tiger hiding the way a dragon breathes.
You don't know how I feel!
I am a tiger in a cage please set me free!
by;pd
"Breed to Breathe" by Napalam Death
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKP9aaFkEEQ
Ice crystal contrails cerulean skies crisscross,
Grazing the wispy clouds of cottony linens
Like smooth white, waxy strings of dental floss
Strung out high above these heavenly denizens.
Grazing the wispy clouds of cottony linens
Are they playing war games above the peace?
Strung out high above these heavenly denizens
Are they from earthly tensions finding release?
Are they playing war games above the peace?
These high-flying aerial jockeys of daring feat
Are they from earthly tensions finding release?
They soar through the heavens without defeat.
These high-flying aerial jockeys of daring feat
Top guns rehearsing for battles they must abhor,
They soar through the heavens without defeat
Ever testing, faster, never enough, always more.
Top guns rehearsing for battles they must abhor
Keenly aware of the vital defense roles they play
Ever testing, faster, never enough, always more
Their high-flying antics are de rigueur for the day.
Keenly aware of the vital defense roles they play
Like smooth white, waxy strings of dental floss
Their high-flying antics are de rigueur for the day,
Ice crystal contrails cerulean skies crisscross.
FIRST PLACE WINNER
Submitted to "Pantoum - Old or New" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Joseph May
SECOND PLACE WINNER
Written May 29, 2022
Submitted to "Flight Poetry Contest"
Sponsored by Chantelle Anne Cooke
#12 on BEST NEW POEMS LIST
June 10, 2022
Submitted to "Marathon Contest Mile 3"
Sponsored by Mark Toney
Poised to dive into the drink below
the deodorant on the shelf above put on a show
while the toothbrushes looked on with a big grin
the deodorant dove like a champ and took a swim,
The toothbrushes held up all their signs
most of them giving his dive a nine
not satisfied he had wanted a perfect 10
he stood above the toilet ready to jump again,
But before he could jump he quickly froze
hearing the man of the house shuffle in and impose
turning the light on he quickly went pee
the toothbrushes averting their eyes quickly,
Finishing up he flushed and put the lid down
leaving the bathroom the deodorant had a frown
the toothbrushes said don't worry we'll fill up the sink
so the deodorant moved above it ready to jump into the drink,
All eyes were fastened on him poised above
knowing that swimming was one of the deodorants first loves
the deodorant concentrated and then leapt off
giving him a perfect ten for a triple somersault!
After awhile they all got tired and went to sleep
taking their positions on the shelf above the toilet and sink
the man of the house soon catching on to their hijinks
putting a "closed for the season" sign on the toilet and sink,
But that didn't stop their bathroom shenanigans
they just came up with a different plan
this time they were extra quiet as they filled up the tub
but the man of the house caught on and pulled the plug
So swimming was now a gone past time
so they constructed with dental floss a zip line
zip lining from the top of the shower to the floor
that is till they heard the creak of the bathroom door...
It is said the first flag maker was Ms. Betsy Ross
Was also said she could do well with some dental floss
As one can imagine twas because she ran out of thread
She forgot to order it because she didn't take her meds
Battle Of The Clerihew---Contest Of P.D.
Written By: Carol Brown
6th Place Winner
I know my capabilities
But, you won't get it like that.
I know how I love
But, I can't love you like that.
You're just a dog
Trying to catch the cat.
I'll blow back your braids.
hand you your hat.
Beat you down with a bat.
F*** that!!
Knick, knack, patty wack.
Your loss,
Gotta pay the cost
to be the boss.
read between the lines,
dental floss.
You're tossed,
in the trash.
never needed your dusty ass.
Plus you wasn't dropping the cash
When the rents due.
Nigga f*** you.
F***ing up my face,
Scars on my heart.
Was blind from the start.
Walking around, head down.
Stuck in Demonic love
I was bound.
True Tee,
no, F****** around.
Hands hitting me.
shattering all personality.
My Reality.
Normally, never weak.
But, this nigga had a hold on me.
I had to let him go.
A CAPITAL, T.K.O.
Hell no.
You're no King.
"That's for sho"!
Tears singing.
"Soprano".
Should have left your ass.
A long time ago.
Washed up from the shore.
you, and those dirty whores.
Loving you is a battle.
"WAR"!!
Can't take it no more.
Got my finger on the Barrow.
Time to close the door.
Hurt me, to the core.
"That's not what I stand for".
Sent me through hell
and back again.
Hell and back again.
God, never left.
Always, my friend.
"While you're tryna pretend".
First aid kit,
ain't getting it.
Me and cowards don't mix.
Carryijg the shadow of a broken spirit.
My Father's, my witness.
You gone get the business.
What comes around, goes around.
"Quickness"!!
I'm just too damn good for this!!
On my bad side!!
" list".
Time for the album drop!!
Closed fist.
I don't need this !!
Called the quits...??
My (Stupid) Resolutions For 2017
1. Lose 20 pounds and prepare to finance a whole new wardrobe.
When eating ask yourself, would a healthy person eat this and
what to heck is- Red Dye #2, and malotextrin disodoium anyways?
2. Quite drinking coffee and coke, okay just delete this one right now!
3. Make more money, as per, The Secret, just BELIEVE, believe, believe
and say "make more money" out loud 500+ TIMES per day. Right!
4. Get out of debt, okay just delete this one too!
5. Discover why I was born and what am I suppose to be doing??
(Didn't I try this last year?) Okay, just meditate each day and see
what happens.
6. Which brings me to - Don't do the same stupid things I did
last year. Oh, why not just print out last years resolutions and
save some time. Time is ticking, tocking away!
7. Carry dental floss everywhere. Simple. Make the dentist happy.
8. I resolve to come up with a stronger password than Kitty1
9. Stop making spelling errors and find the dictionary buried under books.
10. Again, I will pray daily for a fatter bank account and a thinner body
and pray that God does not get those two mixed up.
11. Stop making stupid lists and learn to COUNT.
12. ?
______________________________________
December 15, 2016
Poetry/Free Verse/Stupid New Year's Resolutions
Copyright Protected, ID 16-858-293-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
At the drug store, what to choose?
All those choices do confuse.
Vitamins for gals or men?
Over 50? Pick again!
DayQuil, NyQuil, ZzQuil or
Generic ones made by the store?
Tablets, caplets, maybe gels?
Wonder which one better sells.
Dental floss in mint or plain?
Waxed or unwaxed? What a pain!
Lotions for your winter itch
Look the same, so which is which?
I’m exhausted when I leave
Even though I do believe
Products with a different name,
Though hyped as best, are all the same!
Sometimes people ask me... What's in your purse...
So I tell them the best that I can...
Lipstick, chapstick, matchstick
What’s in your purse?
Billfold, change purse, money counter, and clip?
Aspirin, Tylenol, Tums, coupons and stamps…
Tissue, pressure bandage, Mom excuse tablet!
What’s in your purse?
House keys, car keys, skate keys and a toothbrush.
Toothpick, dental floss, yesterday’s movie ticket.
Magnifying glass, insect book, handy magic cards?
What’s in your purse?
Personal stuff, extra stuff, and just stuff.
Needed stuff, wanted stuff list…
And all the stuff I meant to take out.
What’s in your purse?
Crayons, a pen, a magic marker, and chalk.
Hodgepodge, glue stick, and tape…
A clown an elf and two small mice.
What’s in your purse?
Bird Seed, fish food, and a safety pin.
A feather from a goose, an empty candy wrapper.
A small notebook with and without lines.
What’s in your purse?
Gum, a straw and an eyedropper.
A paperclip that floats like a boat,
And a folding flying airplane.
What’s in your purse?
Flashlight, book light, nightlight.
NASA blanket and plastic rain suit.
Hairnet and socks that match.
What’s in your purse?
Paintbrush, hairbrush, dog brush.
Playdough, finger puppets and jelly packets.
A flashlight, a monocle, and a bingo dabber.
What’s in your purse?
A calendar, a phone, and things that I have to have.
Pictures of those I love.
And a little cross…
What’s in your purse?
Jesus!
I brush my teeth with chaos
In this world I think you have to
In your eyes I'm a madman
My rhetoric is dynamite
the fuze I light is dental floss
I'm dramatic baby
In this world I think you have to be
I'm a ghost, a thought, a silent click
floating on the edge of tangable
You smile
to hide your fear
but your teeth are tarnished black
have some of my toothpaste
let's start with a line and see where it leads
People like blood so I will make mine bleed
a zombie a chainsaw perhaps some bats
For good measure I'll throw in some black cats
I'm running out of ideas I think
Something is bad, it's a terrible stink
Have you heard the one, about the sparrow
He let loose excrement, on the Pharaoh
Oh what a horror, the bird felt so bad
The Pharoah in anger, yelled out egad
Archers at the ready, shot the bird down
Pharoah bit of wings, wore them on his gown
He fed the birdie to his own black cat
The cat so happy it meowed where it sat
Mummys and bats they make me want to scream
Most of the horrors come from my own dreams
Dancing disjointed, what do I have to loss
Bones I crunched, I removed with dental floss
Let's finish with a flurry, a mad dash
A horrible fungus, a scabby rash
Worst poem Contest
Here's a tangled thready mass of dental floss
Glued on some canvas board with gesso
Each layer of the spider's snare dyed a different color
One layer dried then layered o'er another
Oh the marl-morning sour-gut history
The saw-toothed plaque-frozen mystery!
There's corn beans and sirloin on the string
Microscopic V-8 a thermal-digested chicken wing
Good bad medium days
Hidden 'neath and in filet
Here's Jackson Pollock with his dripping
Splashing abstract expressionism
Pollock though a genius failed
In splashing paint pale after pale
To realize a more thrifty less messy way
To say through teeth what he had to say
Do Not Play with Plaque
We prefer that you do not play with plaque,
Or much more decay soon may come back;
Even if your gums and skin are both porous,
Come to dentist office and join their chorus.
They there become monitor and regulator;
Did use both dental floss and a stimulator;
Breathing fresh air is the best substance;
Bad breath brings on much repugnance.
Before magnificent mornings pass us by,
Brush all beautiful teeth am sure to try;
Perfect example like to and always set;
Love at first sight when dentist we met.
Same to assistants and receptionist applied;
For all of their support have heavily relied;
So each morning mouth wakes up smiling,
And now my nice teeth am never defiling.
Do brush up and down and sideways to;
Between teeth floss through and through,
And then in the end you can hardly wait,
To use gum massager before we masticate.
Mouths do exceed each standard and form;
Dentist said set and established a new norm;
On our teeth, actions control ware and tare;
Shiny and still look gorgeous everywhere.
James Thesarious Hilarious
Retired Veteran and Poet
https://www.poetrysoup.com/member_area/edit_my_poem.aspx?PoemID=710531
Alabaster body of truth
got buried beneath
a dung-key pile of swastika lies
SWAT teams of fascist oppression
swarm the polling places
like hieroglyphic Dead Sea flies
Democracy is locked in a closet,
and minority tears are sorrow overflowing
from a false premise reel faucet
For a few rubles more,
Balaam poli sighs bite their tongue
and don’t say a word
As voting rights get trashed,
Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima voices
never lever get heard
Tongue suppressor is an 'ol ancient Pharaoh trick;
dental floss over the facts,
say freedom diabetes tis how the patient got sick
Sugar coat the ballot Cain process,
put a chocolate high poll tax
to gain pure vanilla power access
Play the cerulean bugle blueberry call of the wild,
tap out the bank accounts in gangsta gutter style
While the cherry cheeks smile ...
knowing that the empty elector jingle reign sound,
from the tongue suppressor vice techniques,
will keep the mute prisoners of hope tightly bound
Eat a poppy bagel
And you’d sure be at a loss
If you did not have access to
A string of dental floss.
Toothpicks aren’t strong enough
To dig out all the seeds.
Dental floss, in mint or plain,
Is what a person needs.
You can tell the flossers
From the dental-flosser-nots;
The latter group, when smiling,
Will flash teeth with polka dots!